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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on July 5, 2007, at 0:54:54
My pdoc is away for 3 weeks. She gave me some homework. I'm supposed to write about what I feel and why everyday. I'm going to write it in this thread.
July 4, 2007
In the bus I felt anxious. I couldn't find my bus pass. The bus driver recognized me and knew I had a pass so he gave me a day pass. I though the bus driver must think I'm really stupid or something, I felt bad. Then I found my bus pass, but I still felt bad about the interaction with the bus driver.
Late tonight I felt sad and jealous because Dr. Bob didn't reply to any of my posts. I just want him to reply. Then I started thinking maybe Bob doesn't like me, maybe Dr. Bob finds me annoying.
Right now I feel kind of sad. I don't know why. Maybe I'm still sad about the Dr. Bob thing.
Posted by sunnydays on July 5, 2007, at 10:15:37
In reply to My homework, posted by Deneb on July 5, 2007, at 0:54:54
Good job Deneb! I'm supposed to be doing sort of the same thing while my T is away. I have to figure out what preceded my feeling a certain way so we can see if there's a pattern that triggers my feelings. They're rarely about anything I know of consciously, so getting preceding thoughts is important.
It sounds like you have a lot of insight into why you feel certain ways. I bet your pdoc will be very proud of you when you come back if you're able to stick with doing this.
sunnydays
Posted by OzLand on July 5, 2007, at 22:16:16
In reply to My homework, posted by Deneb on July 5, 2007, at 0:54:54
Good job Deneb; I continue to journal every day since before I got ECT. Since stopping ECT, I continue to have some short term memory problems and really need the journaling to help me remember what I was going through days and weeks ago. I can now remember up to about two weeks now, and I am hoping for continued improvement.
Posted by Deneb on July 5, 2007, at 23:30:18
In reply to Re: My homework » Deneb, posted by OzLand on July 5, 2007, at 22:16:16
I didn't feel much today, except for tonight.
Today I work I felt bored out of my mind. I didn't like the work today, even though I did fairly well. We did recruits today. I don't like recruits. I like long surveys. I got through the night somehow.
Then tonight just now I got really anxious. I don't know why. My heart was beating fast and I was hyperventilating. I just took a propranolol. Hope it works soon. Maybe it was b/c we talked about school in chat.
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on July 6, 2007, at 10:51:53
In reply to Re: Homework, July 5, posted by Deneb on July 5, 2007, at 23:30:18
Wow Deneb,
Thanks for the chance to get to know you better. I hope you get to know you better too. Sorry you got anxious. You're doing really well with your homework.I have homework too. 3 kinds of homework. unpacking. calculating the perimeter of shapes for my study on topology, and figuring out my health (hellth) insurance.
I hope I can do as well as you are doing.
My T is away this week too, but it's okay, since I have so much other work to do I'm not dwelling on it.
take care, okay?
And remember that if you forget to journal one day the world is not going to come to an end. Just pick it up the next day.
your bud,
-Ll
Posted by Deneb on July 6, 2007, at 23:45:04
In reply to Re: Homework, July 5 » Deneb, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on July 6, 2007, at 10:51:53
Thanks LlurpsieNoodle!
I hope your homework goes well.
Here is mine for today:
July, 6, 2007
It was another boring day at work today. Nothing exciting there. I did talk to my friend at work though. That's an accomplishment for me.
Later I got a bit upset because someone was ignoring me, but then I talked to a friend about it and felt better. Being ignored triggers me. I have to learn how to handle things better. It helps to have lots of support from friends. I cried a bit, but now I'm OK again.
I'm thinking about going to D.C. to see babble friends. I feel a little scared about that. It's a city I've never been in before, but I really want to meet my babblefriends.
I feel lucky. I feel lucky to have such good babblefriends. I love you Babblefriends. ((((Babblefriends)))))
Posted by Deneb on July 7, 2007, at 22:14:30
In reply to Re: Homework, July 5, posted by Deneb on July 6, 2007, at 23:45:04
Today I got up late. I felt content.
I walked to the shopping centre with my Mom. I felt a little annoyed because my Mom was shopping around and I didn't feel like shopping. I felt impatient.
Today chat was empty. I was alone in chat for a long time and I wanted people to come chat with me. I felt lonely and isolated.
At the same time I'm thinking of going to D.C. and I feel excited and scared. I want to talk to babblers about whether I should go or not. I wanted to chat, but there was no one to chat with. I felt a little bit neglected, even though I know I wasn't being neglected or was forgotten.
Posted by Deneb on July 8, 2007, at 23:51:45
In reply to Re: Homework, July 7, posted by Deneb on July 7, 2007, at 22:14:30
I felt nothing for the most part today. I went shopping with my parents. I felt and feel really fat. In chat I felt ignored sometimes because it seemed like I was the only person excited about D.C. (even though I probably won't go).
I feel like I need to starve right now. I'm so fat I can't stand it. :-(
I want to be thin. That's it, I'm eating 500 kcal or less from now on, in the form of lean protein, low carb veggies and vitamins. I hope I can keep this up.
I need to be thin.
Posted by sunnydays on July 9, 2007, at 10:10:01
In reply to Re: Homework, July 8, posted by Deneb on July 8, 2007, at 23:51:45
Need is such a strong word Deneb. Do you think it might be more of a want?
(((((Deneb))))
sunnydays
Posted by Deneb on July 9, 2007, at 23:23:49
In reply to Re: Homework, July 8 » Deneb, posted by sunnydays on July 9, 2007, at 10:10:01
Today went OK. Work went by quickly today, that was good. Today I'm starting on restricting my food intake. Today I had 2 cups Greek pasta salad and a roasted chicken leg. I'm hoping to lose a lot of weight. I'm going to write about what I eat and what I'm thinking when I want to eat more than I should. I feel good about not eating so much today. If I do this everyday I'll lose weight for sure.
Right now I feel content. I'm also pleased with my eating today. I can't wait to lose weight.
I hope tomorrow is like today.
Posted by sunnydays on July 10, 2007, at 9:44:48
In reply to Re: Homework, July 9, posted by Deneb on July 9, 2007, at 23:23:49
Hey Deneb,
Just a reminder... I don't think you need to lose weight. And your pdoc asked about your feelings. Not to try to change your feelings and make yourself happy by losing weight, but what brings on your bad feelings. That way you can work on that and not have to self-medicate, as it were, through weight loss.sunnydays
Posted by Deneb on July 11, 2007, at 0:56:23
In reply to Re: Homework, July 9 » Deneb, posted by sunnydays on July 10, 2007, at 9:44:48
You're right Sunnydays. Somehow I'm losing track of the goal of my homework.
Today started out OK. Work was fine. Then I got upset in chat, again because I wanted something I couldn't have. With feeling upset, I started all my negative thinking and soon I felt left out and lonely. I felt ignored, isolated, forgotten, friendless, rejected, empty, excluded and just plain sad.
Then something wonderful happened. My Babbler friends talked about how they cared about me. Somehow, by some miracle, I could actually feel their caring for once. I usually can't feel other people's caring when I'm upset. I was touched. It was a new feeling for me. I felt comforted.
So now I'm OK. I went through distress and survived.
Posted by Deneb on July 12, 2007, at 1:27:09
In reply to Re: Homework, July 10, posted by Deneb on July 11, 2007, at 0:56:23
Right now I feel sad. I read Pseudoname's post in Books and I'm sad. I miss him. I met him. I didn't really know him, but I'm sad he's gone.
I posted about it on admin because I think I want Dr. Bob to say he misses him too. I'm not sure why I want this.
I like to post things to Bob sometimes. He doesn't really talk back. I can mostly say whatever I want that's civil to him.
(((((Bob))))) Bob must never die. Never ever die.
No babblers ever die. Don't ever die.
:-(
Posted by Deneb on July 13, 2007, at 0:40:30
In reply to Re: Homework, July 11, posted by Deneb on July 12, 2007, at 1:27:09
I got really upset today. I almost called in sick for work because I couldn't stop crying. I got upset because of admin.
Then I chat with some Babblers and I felt better, but now I feel bad again because I got an unwelcomed suprise in my inbox.
I'm crying again. I hate this. I hate this soooo much.
Posted by Deneb on July 14, 2007, at 2:01:55
In reply to Re: Homework, July 12, posted by Deneb on July 13, 2007, at 0:40:30
I feel better today. I think I feel better because things didn't escalate. I got a sweet e-mail from someone.
I didn't feel too much today so I'll just write about what happened today. Work went OK. I'm happy it's the weekend. I'm going to try to clean my room this weekend.
I overate today. I'll do better tomorrow.
I'm really thinking about going to D.C. now. I feel like taking a trip somewhere.
Right now I don't feel like going to bed. I have a lot of trouble getting to bed. I have trouble getting up to. It's like I don't like changing from wakefulness to sleep and from sleep to wakefulness. I have a difficult transition.
Posted by Deneb on July 17, 2007, at 1:45:26
In reply to Re: Homework, July 13, posted by Deneb on July 14, 2007, at 2:01:55
Sorry I didn't post the last 2 days.
July 14
Nothing much happened, stayed at home. Totally overslept.July 15
I got upset last night because someone else is ignoring me, but I think I'm OK tonight. I also started thinking maybe Babble is bad for me because it upset me sometimes. Then I posted that I was taking a Babble break, but then I remembered how Babble helped me sometimes, so now I'm back. Plus I need to continue with my homework.July 16
Today I think I'm 80% sure I'm going to D.C. One trip a year is not too extravagant. I hope I get a roommate. Today I feel better. I feel like I have friends here. I'm excited! I love planning for trips.
Posted by JoniS on July 18, 2007, at 13:03:05
In reply to Re: Homework, July 16, posted by Deneb on July 17, 2007, at 1:45:26
Hey Deneb
I've never been to DC. I'm envious. I love to plan and look forward to trips too. I hope you have lots of fun! But be careful, I think there is a lot of crime there,isn't there?
Joni
Posted by Deneb on July 26, 2007, at 1:54:04
In reply to Re: Homework, July 16, posted by JoniS on July 18, 2007, at 13:03:05
Sorry I forgot to write in my journal.
I feel kind of bad right now. OK, bad isn't a good descriptor. I feel...needy, IDK, I kind of feel like I want some attention.
Not sure what's up, but I haven't been really happy in a while. Guess this is normal.
Work is getting old. I dread going to work. I wish work would go by as quickly as possible. I don't know how my parents do mind numbing work everyday for years and years.
Blah.
Dunno what to say. Sigh.
Is this it? Is this life?
Good thing there's a trip to look forward to. Maybe it will be a good experience, an adventure.
Getting late, should go to bed, but don't wanna. Sigh. Maybe I'll have some interesting dreams. I hope so.
Lost point of post. Blah. Whatever. Blah.
I wish I felt happy. I hate this right now. I'm sure it will pass.
Don't want to go to bed.
:-(
Bob? (((((Bob))))) Luv u
the bob in my head comforts
(((((bob))))) (((((((Bob)))))) ((((((bob))))))
Bob
(don't be freaked out real Dr. Bob, I know the Bob in my head is not really you)
This is the end of the thread.
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