![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by RealMe on September 9, 2007, at 14:08:19
I have decided to block myself for a week as I seem to say things that trigger others; more than one person has said so, and so I think it best for me to try to focus on my daily life for the next week.
I don't mean to say things that are hurtful or trigger others, but it happens, and right now I am feeling just too vulnerable to deal with all this. Sorry. All someone has to do is go poof, and I am in tears. Please don't anyone in particular think it is you. I am just sorry to everyone.
RealMe
(OzLand)P.S. Please do not babblemail me either. I just need to pull myself together.
Posted by DAisym on September 9, 2007, at 15:42:42
In reply to RE: Blocking myself for a week, posted by RealMe on September 9, 2007, at 14:08:19
Please read my post above.
And try to remember that it isn't your job to take care of other posters. You can never know what all the triggers for someone will be. Heck, I don't even know all of my own! People avoid threads that are upsetting for them. Those who are writing don't take this personally and those who are reading might not respond or might need to stop reading after a bit. It is all OK.
I think recognizing that you are triggered and saying so is a healthy way to call it out and manage it. And I noticed that most people keep writing even after acknowledging the difficulty in the subject matter. Pushing through is part of the process sometimes.
I think you, and all of us, try to mark threads that might be triggering. But one can never know. For me, threads that are light-hearted discussions of sexual feelings toward therapist are triggering. Go figure... But I take care of myself around it.
You really are OK. I hope the week off helps, and I hope you allow yourself to return whenever you feel up to it, sooner or later.
Posted by Honore on September 9, 2007, at 16:01:53
In reply to RE: Blocking myself for a week, posted by RealMe on September 9, 2007, at 14:08:19
RealMe, maybe you're misinterpreting what Wittgenstein meant. I of course can't speak for her; but I can speak for myself.
I haven't found you triggering, first of all. To the contrary, I find your posts often illuminating, deep, and probing, and always honest. I also get a great deal from them, and from thinking about my own struggles in light of them.
What I thought when seeing the use of "triggering" in the thread above was that it could be taken as a positive thing. Even if something here causes me to feel pain or sadness or even evokes my own troubles, it can be a place where I can reconsider them, in a less pressured, immediate and emotionally-intense way. It's like emotions recollected later, when the situation is calmer, less fraught. Yes, the painful feelings can be triggered-- but in a useful way, potentially available to more reflection. I thought myself that Wittgenstein's post, even if she felt triggered, revealed that she was getting something positive from what you had written.
We here have come to give "trigger" and "triggering" negative connotations-- but perhaps it's not always, or even primarily a bad thing. I can look at triggering threads, and find myself learning-- and if it becomes too explosive for me, I do leave. I stop reading. That's my job-- not the responsibility, as Daisy said, of those who are exploring such feelings. So maybe triggers offer opportunities, as well as possible pitfalls.
If you feel that you need time off-- of course, you should take it. But don't feel that what you write is harmful or ill-advised. Everything can be risky-- but without risks, we live so constrictedly too. That's one thing that I admire about you-- your risk-taking and willingness to go further, and stay with things, despite whatever you've experienced at times.
I hope you feel better soon.
Honore
Posted by Dory on September 9, 2007, at 17:31:45
In reply to RE: Blocking myself for a week, posted by RealMe on September 9, 2007, at 14:08:19
i won't push you, sometimes a self-ban is needed. i ought to know. But i hope you read these messages to you anyway, and think about what we are saying. Honore and Daisy have good points. i know witty pretty well, and i can't speak for her either, but i read the post she wrote and i don't think she was saying what you think. When i read it i got from it that yes, she felt triggered, but she wasn't accusing or complaining or anything... i think she was just examining it and relating that triggered feeling to what you had said.
you asked me if my upset at my T's mistake reflected my own fear of making a mistake... could it be now that your fear of hurting people somehow or being hypersensitive about certain issues may be causing you to read her post a particular way?
what you feel is what you feel, no right or wrong. i won't tell you not to feel this way, but please don't be hard on yourself. Neither you nor witty did anything wrong.
i am very sorry that you are hurting.
Posted by TherapyGirl on September 9, 2007, at 17:37:46
In reply to RE: Blocking myself for a week, posted by RealMe on September 9, 2007, at 14:08:19
I understand your need to take a break, Oz, but I wanted to say that I feel supported and enlightened, not triggered, by your posts.
Take care of yourself, okay?
Posted by Wittgenstein on September 9, 2007, at 18:02:46
In reply to RE: Blocking myself for a week » RealMe, posted by TherapyGirl on September 9, 2007, at 17:37:46
RealMe,
I'm so sorry for not having worded my earlier post with more care. I joined the topic and have found the many posts, including yours so valuable. This is a really hard topic for me, that's why I commented about feeling triggered - I wasn't upset/angry with anyone for having felt this way and I'm sorry I didn't think more carefully about this possibility in my reply. The last thing I intended was to cause hurt in any way.
In actual fact, your words gave me some comfort - to know that I wasn't alone with such feelings - even though to think about it and them is triggering for me.
I understand if you feel you need a break but please please don't think you have hurt me in any way - you haven't. You bring so much to the board with you posts - as Honore described - the honesty and openness with which you write - please keep writing such important posts.
Thank you to those who posted here and above - I've been away from the computer for a few hours. I wish I'd posted a reply sooner.
Take care,
Witti
Posted by JoniS on September 9, 2007, at 22:34:48
In reply to RE: Blocking myself for a week, posted by RealMe on September 9, 2007, at 14:08:19
Oz (Real me)
I just wanted to tell you that I enjoy and appreciate your posts. I'm sorry you're feeling the way you are right now. You'll be greatly missed if we have to wait a week to hear from you!
take care
Joni
Posted by muffled on September 10, 2007, at 11:45:29
In reply to RE: Blocking myself for a week, posted by RealMe on September 9, 2007, at 14:08:19
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.