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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Maxime on January 4, 2008, at 12:50:29
Hi
I forgot to write about it on Friday, but something weird went on during my session last week.
I was talking and then I had a frog in my throat and I had to clear my throat. I was really embarrassed. Anyhow, my therapist cleared his throat with me. Then I sneezed and took a klenex. He took a klenex as well.
What was that about? What was he doing?
Maxime
Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2008, at 12:54:04
In reply to Weird thing, posted by Maxime on January 4, 2008, at 12:50:29
Well, there's a concept known as mirroring, where the therapist adopts the posture etc. of the client. But that would be a rather awkward use of it.
So I think I'd prefer to think of it merely as contagion. Like yawning?
Posted by Phillipa on January 4, 2008, at 12:54:52
In reply to Weird thing, posted by Maxime on January 4, 2008, at 12:50:29
Mirror image? I don't know? Really paying attention. It sounds like maybe empathy? Did he have a cold? So many variables. I sneeze husband sneezes sometimes too. I hope you like him and are you getting along well? I still need to find someone compassionate. Phillipa
Posted by Poet on January 4, 2008, at 13:27:14
In reply to Weird thing, posted by Maxime on January 4, 2008, at 12:50:29
Hi Maxime,
Maybe it was a coincidence about the throat clearing, but if he didn't also sneeze I don't get why he grabbed a kleenex.
My T has done mirroring, but it's always my gestures/posture like when I cross my arms and legs tight and glare at her. She's never done it if I cough or sneeze.
Poet
Posted by Bodhisattva on January 4, 2008, at 13:29:33
In reply to Weird thing, posted by Maxime on January 4, 2008, at 12:50:29
I live for awkward moments like that.
After the mutual blowing of noses I would have asked him what color his was....hahahahaha
Or maybe....when he reached for one I'd grab another and see if he'd follow suit. Then repeat until there are none left.....screaming "I WIN!" if I got the last one.
Or maybe, snatch the one he grabbed out of his hand saying "not your turn yet".
Awkward moments are a chance to be strange and get away with it. I say grab em while you can.
But on a serious note, if you want to know what's going on.....ask him. Maybe he thought you were trying to tell him he had a boog hangin.......
Posted by Maxime on January 4, 2008, at 13:48:14
In reply to Re: Weird thing » Maxime, posted by Bodhisattva on January 4, 2008, at 13:29:33
Posted by Maxime on January 4, 2008, at 13:51:20
In reply to Re: Weird thing » Maxime, posted by Poet on January 4, 2008, at 13:27:14
It was odd. I thought about mirroring, but then thought "why would he mirror this stuff". Maybe because I was so obviously uncomfortable? You see, I am usually nervous when I go so I have trouble speaking to start with. Having something in my throat was awful for me. *blush*
Maxime
Posted by raisinb on January 4, 2008, at 14:08:41
In reply to Re: Weird thing -To all, posted by Maxime on January 4, 2008, at 13:51:20
Well..I don't know, but I do know that therapy can create weird moments of attunement. Once I was feeling sad and controlling it, but my T started crying a little, and there have been moments I'm afraid and she gets anxious, too--mentions she feels knots in her stomach, etc. I think it's just a side effect of the empathy. Perhaps your T felt empathy for your throat issues ;)
Posted by Maxime on January 4, 2008, at 14:15:15
In reply to Re: Weird thing -To all, posted by raisinb on January 4, 2008, at 14:08:41
Maybe. I can't imagine what it would be like to be a therapist and to get knots in the stomach. Makes you wonder why she choose that line of work.I don't think it was by chance that the throat clearing and nose blowing happened at the same time to both of us. It's not like some tumble weed went rolling by!
Maxime
Posted by muffled on January 4, 2008, at 16:15:48
In reply to Re: Weird thing » Maxime, posted by Bodhisattva on January 4, 2008, at 13:29:33
> I live for awkward moments like that.
>
> After the mutual blowing of noses I would have asked him what color his was....hahahahaha
>
> Or maybe....when he reached for one I'd grab another and see if he'd follow suit. Then repeat until there are none left.....screaming "I WIN!" if I got the last one.
>
> Or maybe, snatch the one he grabbed out of his hand saying "not your turn yet".
>
> Awkward moments are a chance to be strange and get away with it. I say grab em while you can.> But on a serious note, if you want to know what's going on.....ask him. Maybe he thought you were trying to tell him he had a boog hangin.......
**THANKS FOR THAT! LOL LOL LOL!!!!!
M
Posted by star008 on January 4, 2008, at 16:17:07
In reply to Re: Weird thing -To all, posted by Maxime on January 4, 2008, at 14:15:15
maxime
mine used to use the same posture as i did.. If i moved, he moved.. drove me nuts.. I finally asked him to knock it off cuz it was driving me nuts.. they do that so you know they are listening and interested..lol.. but blowing the nose??? i don't know. booger empathy??
Posted by Maxime on January 4, 2008, at 17:46:56
In reply to Re: Weird thing -To all » Maxime, posted by star008 on January 4, 2008, at 16:17:07
> maxime
>
> mine used to use the same posture as i did.. If i moved, he moved.. drove me nuts.. I finally asked him to knock it off cuz it was driving me nuts.. they do that so you know they are listening and interested..lol.. but blowing the nose??? i don't know. booger empathy??Yes, it is suppose to represent empathy (from what I have since read). Now I realise that he has been mirroring the way I DON'T look at him when I talk. He seems make a special effort to look away from me. That would bug most patients, but not me since I don't want much eye contact.
Booger empathy? Anything is possible. :)
Maxime
Posted by rskontos on January 4, 2008, at 18:27:49
In reply to ROFL ITIPMP!!!!!! You WAY funny!!!:-) » Bodhisattva, posted by muffled on January 4, 2008, at 16:15:48
I agree with Muffled you are too funny...I needed this laugh..
I can actually visualize you grabbing the box of kleenex from him saying MINE! Get your own!!!
Way too funny.
rsk
Posted by rskontos on January 4, 2008, at 18:31:02
In reply to Re: Weird thing -To all » Maxime, posted by star008 on January 4, 2008, at 16:17:07
Maxi, I guess everyone might be right about empathy, I don't know, I guess I would go with What the Heck are you doing? and ask you can't get an answer if you don't ask. I would ask my new p-doc as my new motto is ask and you shall get an answer, don't and you won't. It is your therapy and you need to own it too. You know... be strong and ask him if he has a nose problem too......booger empathy, that is a good one too..
I am sorry but this thread did make me laugh and I hope it gave you some answers too......thanks maxi
rsk
Posted by muffled on January 4, 2008, at 20:14:46
In reply to Re: Weird thing -To all » star008, posted by Maxime on January 4, 2008, at 17:46:56
Maxime FWIW I don't look at my T either, and if I peek and see she looking a me, I say "DON"T LOOK!" cuz she knows I hate to be looked at! ROFL. Its sometimes kinda funny. I am not so bad now. I still will not look at her much, but I let her look at me some.
I scared to look case I see a bad thing, or if her body don't match her words, and sometimes she get waterineye, and I don't like that either.
M
Posted by sunnydays on January 5, 2008, at 21:33:33
In reply to Re: Weird thing -To all, posted by Maxime on January 4, 2008, at 14:15:15
That's definitely being really attentive if that's what it was. But my T has said that he'll notice sometimes when I am anxious and breathing shallowly that he also starts to breathe shallowly and get tense. But when either he or I takes a deep breath and relaxes, it seems to relax both of us. So maybe it was something like that. And if he was trying to lessen any embarrassment on your part, I guess that just shows he really cares!
sunnydays
Posted by Kath on January 10, 2008, at 19:24:56
In reply to Weird thing, posted by Maxime on January 4, 2008, at 12:50:29
My 'sometimes' therapist (covered for about 6 sessions at a time) told me, when I was saying I didn't know how to 'be' with my son sometimes due to his mental damage (I still tend to think of it as that - damage caused by drugs).
Anyway, my T told me about 'mirroring' the person's behaviours etc. She gave as some examples:
If the person is sitting with their legs crossed, you do the same
If the person is frowning you do the same
That I could order lemonade at a drive-thru if my son did
.......that type of thing. She said that during her training, they learned that.
THEN in subsequent sessions, I noticed her doing it!!!! LOL It was a bit un-nerving & made me feel a little less relaxed, but I realize that it's just part of what she learned. She said the purpose of it is to help the person feel 2 things:
1) feel more comfortable
2) feel that the other person is sort of 'on the same wavelength'
3) in her case, that she likes the person she's working with to feel that she's more like an equal than someone up there on a throne.Kath
Hi
>
> I forgot to write about it on Friday, but something weird went on during my session last week.
>
> I was talking and then I had a frog in my throat and I had to clear my throat. I was really embarrassed. Anyhow, my therapist cleared his throat with me. Then I sneezed and took a klenex. He took a klenex as well.
>
> What was that about? What was he doing?
>
> Maxime
Posted by Kath on January 10, 2008, at 19:26:36
In reply to Re: Weird thing » Maxime, posted by Bodhisattva on January 4, 2008, at 13:29:33
Posted by Maxime on January 11, 2008, at 19:16:55
In reply to Re: Weird thing » Maxime, posted by Kath on January 10, 2008, at 19:24:56
That's really interesting. It sounds like a game of "Simon says". It must be weird that you can see her mirroring you! I would go mad. I don't look at my T that often so I can't see what he is doing. Maybe he's not looking at me either!
Maxime
Posted by Kath on January 11, 2008, at 20:58:35
In reply to Re: Weird thing » Kath, posted by Maxime on January 11, 2008, at 19:16:55
Yeah it IS sorta weird. She only does it sometimes.
LOL - well if you don't look at your T & your T is mirroring - then I guess you wouldn't get looked at!!! except for the occassionial glance to see if you still weren't looking!!!
hugs, Kath
This is the end of the thread.
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