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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on February 23, 2008, at 21:16:04
I've been browsing "The Art of the Question". I think it probably costs too much for me to consider buying right now, even used. And maybe I'm just in the right mood for it. It's no Yalom. And it doesn't reach out and grab me.
Yet there are several things I've found that I really really like. I have trouble with cognitive behavior therapy sometimes. And I start laughing whenever I say anything that reminds me of Stuart Smalley. But these are techniques I think I can use, because they don't seem artificial to me.
The overall idea is that it's the questions we ask that can change our lives. And that the sort of questions we ask can influence how we see things. Behaviors and statements can be thought of as answers to unspoken questions, and speaking and forming the questions can help a lot.
There's a part about how messing up is often thought of as failure, but if you think of it in this context, with an inquiring mind, they can be just part of learning.
She talks about how just changing the questions from close ended ones to open ended ones can help us feel less hopeless. From a yes/no "Is there anything that I can do about this" to "What can I do about this" or something like that. I forget exactly.
And as in opinion polls, that how you ask the question can influence the answer. "Why am I such a screwup?" is likely to lead to a different answer than "What can I do differently next time?"
I think the part I like is that I'm not forcing thoughts on myself. I'm way more willing to question myself than I am to repeat affirmations, because I'm way too stubborn for affirmations to work well with me.
And while it certainly isn't a new thought to me, I like her explanation about the difference between facts and conclusions. And how it's largely conclusions masking themselves as facts that make us unhappy. Like if you think of someone as stabbing you in the back, it's different than thinking that someone said xxxx about you to a mutual friend. The first is way more highly charged, and contains some conclusions. While simply reporting the facts is cooler, and allows for questions into what happened.
I'm paraphrasing a lot, and might have gotten it wrong. Maybe I do need to buy it someday. :)
Posted by MidnightBlue on February 23, 2008, at 22:44:12
In reply to An interesting book, posted by Dinah on February 23, 2008, at 21:16:04
YIKES that is expensive!
MB
Posted by Daisym on February 23, 2008, at 22:47:39
In reply to An interesting book, posted by Dinah on February 23, 2008, at 21:16:04
I love to question things. There is a management book called the Question behind the question - or something like that. It essentially suggests that you look for the core question when trying to understand what is happening or when trying to make changes.
I've always thought that was one of the great things about being a therapist. You don't have to have answers, you just have to ask the right questions.
Posted by Fallsfall on February 23, 2008, at 23:27:49
In reply to An interesting book, posted by Dinah on February 23, 2008, at 21:16:04
Ask your library to get it for you through interlibrary loan...
8^)
Falls
Posted by Dinah on February 24, 2008, at 0:09:07
In reply to Re: An interesting book » Dinah, posted by Fallsfall on February 23, 2008, at 23:27:49
Great idea!
I tend to forget that because our libraries aren't all that filled with good psych books.
I'll check into checking it out. :)
Posted by Dinah on February 24, 2008, at 0:10:11
In reply to Re: An interesting book » Dinah, posted by MidnightBlue on February 23, 2008, at 22:44:12
Maybe it's a textbook? Or at least a professional one.
It was a bit dry in tone. But not too technical to be accessible.
I like Falls idea. I'll look into that.
Posted by Dinah on February 24, 2008, at 0:13:41
In reply to Re: An interesting book, posted by Daisym on February 23, 2008, at 22:47:39
:)
I think my therapist forgets that now and again.
I was thinking I might talk to him about it, and see if we can work on ways to apply it to my therapy. But in the end, that never works out too well. We keep picking things up and thinking they're great ideas, but then we kind of drift away from them as my mood shifts. It must be hard to do therapy with someone who is so different from session to session.
Still, there's no reason we can't shift to it and from it as it would be useful. Just because we aren't consistent, doesn't mean we can't cycle to ideas.
This is the end of the thread.
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