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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Happyflower on June 16, 2008, at 13:12:23
My old T used to use this approach a lot since it was what he was primary trained in. But it always felt judgmental to me, judging HOW you say things instead of him LISTENING to WHAT I am saying. So we would spend a whole hour discussing HOW I word things, instead of working on what the problem was to begin with
With my current T (who wasn't trained primary in this) he accepts me for what and how I say something. It feels accepting to me and more sensitive to the real reasons I am in therapy, not a grammar like lesson. And guess what, the issues get worked out.
With my old T I always struggled with this because I would say, OKAY< OKAY< I will say it the "proper way", but I still FEEL the same way, dammit! So what's the point?
I know the theories behind it and all, but I think it doesn't works well with me. I like the humanistic approach way better.
Posted by Phillipa on June 16, 2008, at 16:54:06
In reply to cognitive therapy doesn't feel accepting, posted by Happyflower on June 16, 2008, at 13:12:23
I guess I missed the thread where you explained why you want the old T to talk to your new one so a bit confused as sounds like you really like your new one why revisit the past? Love Phillipa
Posted by sunnydays on June 16, 2008, at 22:49:14
In reply to cognitive therapy doesn't feel accepting, posted by Happyflower on June 16, 2008, at 13:12:23
Me too. I don't like CBT, just because it doesn't work for me. It does sound to me like you are looking for more and more reasons to be mad at your old T before you go see him. Are you nervous? It would be fine to be nervous. Just something I noticed.
sunnydays
Posted by Happyflower on June 17, 2008, at 17:34:05
In reply to Re: cognitive therapy doesn't feel accepting, posted by sunnydays on June 16, 2008, at 22:49:14
HI sunny
I don't think I am trying to get madder, I am just reflecting on why my current therapy is working as opposed not working. I am also thinking about it because eventually I will have to decide what kind of T I want to be.
and yes, I am sure I will be nervous, I plan on taking some Xanax before I go. I don't want anything to get ugly or overemotional. I want it to end well if at all possible.
Posted by Dinah on June 18, 2008, at 10:07:00
In reply to cognitive therapy doesn't feel accepting, posted by Happyflower on June 16, 2008, at 13:12:23
A lot of that is in the delivery.
My therapist does a lot of CBT, but his delivery was never harsh or unaccepting. It never felt like a grammar lesson. And he always recognized that validation was needed along with the cognitive stuff. He says that people need to be accepted as they are before they can change.
Posted by untergeek on July 3, 2008, at 11:24:16
In reply to Re: cognitive therapy doesn't feel accepting, posted by Dinah on June 18, 2008, at 10:07:00
I have not good results from CBT. My impression is that it's like rote learning, rather than getting to the heart of things. It works well for some people, just not for me.
But the insurance companies love it, because it's often time-limited; therefore, less pay-out from them.
Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2008, at 19:10:24
In reply to Re: cognitive therapy doesn't feel accepting, posted by untergeek on July 3, 2008, at 11:24:16
Hi and welcome. :)
I think CBT and DBT have good things to teach, so it is a bit like learning. The concepts can probably help a lot of people. And some people it helps enough that they don't need more help.
I think that's how I see it.
I was a bit too stubborn to learn it in the twelve to sixteen week period that the insurance company prefers. And I'm afraid that other symptoms popped up to replace the ones I'd dealt with, since I hadn't dealt with the stuff underlying the symptoms.
Have you found a therapy and therapist you're more comfortable with?
This is the end of the thread.
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