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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Happyflower on July 5, 2008, at 20:41:52
Okay my plan for the free workout place isn't working. The place stinks, like dirty socks and with asthma, it will be bad I think to be breathing in that air. They don't provide towels to wipe the sweat of yourself or the machine and it is no wonder it stinks. Plus the instructors aren't certified like my other place. This girl had me do an exercise I believe wrong, and now my carpal tunal is back. I think I am finally going to have to see my doctor about that, it is getting bad where pain killers are wearing off before it is time to take it again. I am wearing braces too, and it makes it feel better, it is like a bad tooth or something.
Then of course my T should be back this week but I am on a waiting list so I don't know if I will see him or not. I have to call on Monday just to see if he is indeed back and okay, I will just say I am checking to see if their are cancellations. =)
I feel nervous about seeing my current T. I even called my old T to cancel getting together with him. But now I am not sure I want to leave my old exercise place. It is clean and I have so many friends there that I really enjoy so much. I don't think I should have to give that up because of him. Soooo, now do I see him or not? I guess I will know when I talk to my T hopefully this week. I think I still need to get this worked out.
I saw my trumpet instructor who I had a falling out with last Nov. at the store today. We talked again, and it was nice to "make up". It is amazing how it feels, and I want to feel that way about my old T. I just don't know what to do, I NEED MY T!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Posted by lucie lu on July 5, 2008, at 21:55:10
In reply to Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, posted by Happyflower on July 5, 2008, at 20:41:52
HF, that's too bad about the other place, especially since you have a lifetime membership. I might be wrong about this, but I think that if you really think that place is grotty and you'd rather go back to the other place, you should do it. Why should anyone else drive you out of a place you want to be? A lot of getting better is learning to take control of your life, and if that's what it takes, so be it. But then you'd need to take control of how to respond to your old T when you do overlap at the gym. Maybe you could decide ahead of time how to deal with potential encounters so you will retain control of the situation rather than letting his actions drive yours. I have to say though that I'm not really sure about this advice because I don't know much about your past situation with him. I just hate the idea of your having to be at that other place, if it's as bad as you say, while he remains at "the better place." Retaking control of your options and interactions with people, including him, just seems like a good idea and a healthy step. Something to think about, anyway. See what other babblers think.
Good luck, Lucie
Posted by Phillipa on July 6, 2008, at 13:30:04
In reply to Re: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr » Happyflower, posted by lucie lu on July 5, 2008, at 21:55:10
Now my advise is to stick with your old gym. In restrospect why should you leave just cause old T is there. Can you go when you know he won't be there to avoid him? May not be possible just a thought. And sorry about the carpal tunnel. Phillipa
Posted by Happyflower on July 7, 2008, at 0:19:09
In reply to Re: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, posted by Phillipa on July 6, 2008, at 13:30:04
Thanks you Phillip for replying, I for one always appreciate it. ((({Phillipa)))) I feel better today after playing in the garden for a couple of hours.
Posted by Happyflower on July 7, 2008, at 0:20:28
In reply to Re: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr » Happyflower, posted by lucie lu on July 5, 2008, at 21:55:10
Thanks Lucie,
I am so glad you posted to me, you are very nice and supportive and I appreciate it so much.
I will know more this week, hopefully I can see my current T and talk about this.
Thanks again.
Posted by Happyflower on July 7, 2008, at 0:26:14
In reply to Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, posted by Happyflower on July 5, 2008, at 20:41:52
I don't feel welcomed here anymore and it hurts to leave, I am sorry I post to what others think is too much.
This place has changed, many have left, it feels so empty here. If you want to keep in touch, new people and old, please babblemail me and maybe we can exchange email addresses or facebook info. I don't want to be where I am not wanted. In fact I just wish this site was taken down, too many people are feeling hurt again.
Posted by lucie lu on July 7, 2008, at 4:54:55
In reply to Turning my babblemail on, but leaving this site, posted by Happyflower on July 7, 2008, at 0:26:14
HF, What happened just now?? Seemed to me somewhat of a disconnect from your previous posts lately, where it also seemed to me you were both giving and receiving lots of support and information. I personally have found your posts helpful and insightful and never less than supportive. I am glad to hear you say the posts from me and Philippa also made you feel supported.
You know, about this "feeling unwelcome to post." Because it seemed to be a big issue, I actually looked back to that thread when Bob came on. What he had commented on specifically was that you, perhaps in your enthusiasm of the moment, had started five threads (consecutively - in a row) and the rule was something about 2 or 3, I forget which, posts in a row. Unless I am missing something else? There was nothing at all about your posting too much. You weren't blocked and it seemed to me he very respectfully made his request, even commenting that it was not at all personal.
HF I hope you will take this post in the manner in which it is intended and realize that I am trying to offer support and what I hope is useful feedback. It is so easy for us to hear messages in what others do that were not intended by them. I know that is a problem for me. I wouldn't want you to leave the board, and especially for a pretty minor thing involving the mechanics of the board. To me it doesn't seem any more than, to use a rough analogy, if you are in a room and you accidentally raise your voice in telling an interesting story or something and someone asks you to please keep it down a little. No one's asking that person not to talk or being mean about it, right? And that same person may be a very valuable member of the group in that room who no one would want to be silenced, including the person who made the request.
I really hope you can feel comfortable and supported here HF. I was also surprised because I was just thinking the other day that the board and postings lately seemed to be very supportive with a lot of thoughtful participation from a many regular posters as well as new voices. I haven't seen anything over the past couple of months that have seen like attacks on anyone. Perhaps there is a history here but group dynamics always change.
Anyway I hope you take this post well and change your mind about not posting anymore. And I'm sure others feel the same way.
(((((HF))))
Warmly yours, Lucie
Posted by nfc on July 7, 2008, at 8:55:28
In reply to Turning my babblemail on, but leaving this site, posted by Happyflower on July 7, 2008, at 0:26:14
hey HF,
really don't leave, just give it some time to cool down. the way you're feeling and all. in the meantime, talk to IRL friends as well, those closest to you in your family and come back when your ready.
take care,
nfc
Posted by sunnydays on July 7, 2008, at 10:00:15
In reply to Turning my babblemail on, but leaving this site, posted by Happyflower on July 7, 2008, at 0:26:14
I didn't respond because I didn't know what to say. I didn't mean to make you feel unsupported. Also, it was a holiday weekend and it is heavy vacation time, so that may explain why the board has been so quiet lately. Just a thought, but it's your decision to do what you think is best. I'm not going to beg you to stay if you don't feel comfortable, but I do think there may be other factors than just you that may have affected why there weren't many responses to this post. My post below only has one response now, too. It's just one of those cycles. A week or two ago I remember thinking I couldn't keep up with all the new threads on the board.
sunnydays
Posted by pegasus on July 7, 2008, at 10:03:34
In reply to Re: Turning my babblemail on, but leaving this site » Happyflower, posted by nfc on July 7, 2008, at 8:55:28
Hi HF,
I just wanted to let you know that the message you got from Dr. Bob about sharing the site is a canned message that is sent in response to anyone who starts three or more threads in a row. It has nothing to do with you personally. Actually that rule was added a while back as a way to mitigate some unusual and long-term behavior on the Administration board that bothered a lot of people. Personally I find it to be an odd rule. Unfortunately, it has the side effect of catching innocent posting of other people who just happen to have a lot to say at a particular time. I hope you won't leave. Babble has its good and bad qualities, and I find some of the rules to be unhelpful. But I try to remember that this is a community and we need to have rules (imperfect as they sometimes seem to me) to attempt to make it a place that most of us can get along.
I'm really sorry you feel hurt.
peg
Posted by 10derHeart on July 7, 2008, at 11:07:46
In reply to what happened just now??, posted by lucie lu on July 7, 2008, at 4:54:55
This was a beautiful post, Lucie, and thank you for making it. I wholeheartedly agree, and your analogy was great!
Happyflower *knows* how I feel about her though I rarely post these days - I have told her in the past and that doesn't change.
((HF))
Posted by rskontos on July 7, 2008, at 14:50:58
In reply to Turning my babblemail on, but leaving this site, posted by Happyflower on July 7, 2008, at 0:26:14
HF,
I am with everyone else. What gives that made this aboutface?
I am sorry you feel this way. I sometimes feel unwelcomed but I know that is my inners making me feel that way, and it is an perceived feeling not a real one.
It is hard for all of us, being from where we arose, not to sometimes where our hearts on our sleeves.
I hope you feel better. I understand I too am going through a rough patch.
We will come out of this one day.
rsk
Posted by Phillipa on July 7, 2008, at 19:27:12
In reply to Re: Turning my babblemail on, but leaving this sit » Happyflower, posted by rskontos on July 7, 2008, at 14:50:58
Happyflower I also urge you not to leave as you are an asset to the community. Love Phillipa
Posted by Jouezmoi on July 10, 2008, at 10:37:10
In reply to Turning my babblemail on, but leaving this site, posted by Happyflower on July 7, 2008, at 0:26:14
Dear HappyFlower,
Please don't leave the site. I am one of the lurkers that hardly post, but read everything, and you are someone whose posts I always look forward to.
I know beacuse of how we are, that we can be very sensitive to things people say ... sometimes too sensitive, and that hurts. However, trust that many people on this board appreciate you. I do, and I don't even know you and I hardly even post.
Please don't leave.Whatever hurt you are feeling will go away. This is a good forum. I have been on others that are really negative. This one is good. I hope you will feel differently tomorrow.
This is the end of the thread.
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