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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Lemonaide on July 26, 2008, at 22:45:40
I don't obsess over the session, I don't control the session, I mainly go in, and TRUST that he will do what I am paying him to do.
I have read some of my very old posts, and I was more concerned about what my T thinks and does. Well I am not his T, I should have been thinking about me and my life. But now I don't second guess my T, I just trust him most of the time, knowing he knows what he is doing. I just don't obsess much over my sessions now.
So I think a big thing it comes down to is TRUST. Since I truly trust my T, I don't obsess over how he says something, looking for the hidden things, I just am who I am, and I allow him to be him. Maybe I have grown because therapy is so different now.
I am thinking about meeting with my old T, and I am thinking I am tired of thinking about it. Part of me wants to say F*CK THIS SH*T WITH HIM. But then part of me WANTS HIM TO KNOW WHAT DAMAGE HE DID TO ME. DOES HE EVEN KNOW??????????
I am sure after he talks to my T, he will know, but whether he owns his part in it, I will see. I am also going to tell him avoidance of issues and things in life, doesn't make them go away. His techniques he tried to have me learn, will help me "in the moment."
Well the way he avoided the counter-transference, the erotic one with me with avoidance. Well that doesn't work. He should have seeked consolation, like my current T did in the same situation. Not being up front with me, caused me to not trust him. Made me question everything.My current T says that I am super sensitive to things because of my past and my T should have never have said the things he did to me. It devastated me, he meant so much to me. It damaged me. My T helped me overcome a lot of it because I understand my part in it. But shame on my T, he lost his head, he lost his objectivity. But I know he didn't intentionally try to hurt me, just things got out of hand at the moment. He lost his cool. If he would get his head out of his *ss and listen to me when I said I wasn't okay, things might have been different. I also think the feelings that developed between us probably would have prevented me from healing completely. When I am concerned about his ego, of telling him just how bad I feel, that tells me the relationship changed from being theraputic.
I am do glad I have my current T. I just am me, and he accepts me, however I look or feel. There are no expectations. His ego isn't wrapped up in my recovery. So without having to spend all my time on in therapy talking about "the relationship", thinking about "the relationship" outside of the office, etc. It doesn't leave much else to think about other than to try to work on yourself. Maybe I have progressed to this, I don't know. But I know it is different. It is so much better. Okay, enough rambling for now. lol
Posted by stellabystarlight on July 27, 2008, at 10:43:42
In reply to Something I noticed about working with my T, posted by Lemonaide on July 26, 2008, at 22:45:40
How wonderful for you that you don't obsess over your sessions and your T's reactions. It must be so freeing.
I'm sort of new here. May I ask what your old T did to hurt you? Your new T and you are going to confront him? Let me know or if it's a long story, point me to your old posts.
stellabystarlight
Posted by raisinb on July 27, 2008, at 13:14:19
In reply to Something I noticed about working with my T, posted by Lemonaide on July 26, 2008, at 22:45:40
That's really cool. My therapist and I talk about how she wishes I had that freedom in therapy--and sometimes we get there--but we are still working on it. It sounds like you've got the right one for you.
It's completely normal to be angry at your old therapist. Who wouldn't be? He really, really messed up your therapy, and I'm sure his training taught him to know better.
I'd be lying in bed every night grinding my teeth over it. And taking kickboxing classes EVERY day!
It's great that you have your current therapist to process this. I hope that over time you can feel less and less "damaged," because feeling damaged means you might feel not as good or healthy as others, and it's hard to carry that conviction around with you. After all, what happened wasn't your fault and does not have to mean anything permanent about you.
Posted by Looney Tunes on July 27, 2008, at 14:53:18
In reply to Something I noticed about working with my T, posted by Lemonaide on July 26, 2008, at 22:45:40
This must be such a relief. How long have you been with T? It really must allow you to focus on what you need to in therapy without worrying about the ramifications of what you said/did on the relationship.
Glad your at that point.
This is the end of the thread.
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