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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by llurpsienoodle on July 29, 2008, at 6:59:41
T was on vacation last week, and I thought I didn't have one scheduled until FRIDAY. I called to see if there was anything earlier in the week, and there was one appt. that fits perfectly into my schedule.
Boy, I'm needing this. I think I haven't looked forward to a session so much for months.
((((((t))))))
I'm thinking maybe I should tell him that I'm grateful for his help this past year. I'm not sure that I've ever put words to that.
I know that there's nothing he can do about kicking my sis-in-law out of my house (she seems to have moved in), and nothing he can do about my mother's abrasive personality (she announced a !surprise! visit. grrrr) BUT, I would be happy just to be able to VENT for 45 minutes. Seriously. This stuff is hard. I can't talk about it to H, because SIL is always around. I can't talk about mom to anybody else, because of this rediculous notion of 'respecting one's elders' that seems to pervade my in-law's culture.
I'm taking it easy at work this week. at least there's some relief there.
thanks for hearing me
love,
-Ll
Posted by Hermitian on July 29, 2008, at 10:19:26
In reply to whew- finally a session today, posted by llurpsienoodle on July 29, 2008, at 6:59:41
Hey, sure you can talk to your husband about your SiL. You would just do what couples normally do, go out for dinner or a glass of wine or a walk in the park.
Given that you can, it's my guess that you don't want to. You'd rather dump your bucket on your therapist. That's OK I guess. But you should take stock of why. Even the circuitous route through your therapist still takes you back to a frank discussion with your spouse. Because he's the one who is going to have to toss his sister out. (Even though you say he can't.) All you are doing is prolonging the pain of having his sister be a nuisance.
The first thing they teach you in therapist school is to counsel patients not to use absolutes, i.e., "always", "never", "can't" because that self-talk makes you impotent and powerless. Is that how you want to be? (rhetorical)
I just read someplace:
"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't - you'll be right.
There is something to be said for taking ownership.
Good Luck.
Posted by Phillipa on July 29, 2008, at 10:50:54
In reply to Re: whew- finally a session today, posted by Hermitian on July 29, 2008, at 10:19:26
That makes sense like a self fulfilling prophecy sp? Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on July 29, 2008, at 13:00:03
In reply to whew- finally a session today, posted by llurpsienoodle on July 29, 2008, at 6:59:41
Li I think Hermitan's Idea is a good one go somewhere private with your husband and talk. Love Phillipa
Posted by Nadezda on July 29, 2008, at 13:28:27
In reply to Re: whew- finally a session today, posted by Hermitian on July 29, 2008, at 10:19:26
Hi, Hermitian.
I don't mean to offend you, but your comments leave me feeling disapproved of, and that my involvement in and need of therapy are not valid. I personally and many of us here are committed to the meaning and importance of our relationships with our therapists. I personally am invested in my therapy, and feel judged when I read your posts. This may be a misreading , and I certainly hope that I'm mistaken.
But it is hurtful to me at least, that you seem to think that therapy is not worthwhile, and that one should strive not to need it, rather than to find the ways in which it can help.
best, Nadezda
Posted by Hermitian on July 29, 2008, at 15:09:38
In reply to Re: whew- finally a session today, posted by Nadezda on July 29, 2008, at 13:28:27
Nadezda,
Beats the heck out of me how you draw those inferences from what I write. Can you point out what distresses you in this thread? Of course I'm not judging you. And why would you even pay attention to what I say? Even I don't always pay attention to what I say.
Now I may have a different view of the efficacy of some kinds of therapy. But given that there are a score of sanctioned therapeutic modalities for treating psychological problems, suggesting alternative strategies seems like fair game on a blog.
So sorry you feel that way. But I can't help how you feel. If what you do works for you, great. Feel free to ignore what I write. (I won't mind.)
Regards,
-H
Posted by llurpsienoodle on July 29, 2008, at 15:46:41
In reply to Re: whew- finally a session today, posted by Hermitian on July 29, 2008, at 10:19:26
> Given that you can, it's my guess that you don't want to. You'd rather dump your bucket on your therapist.
I think that seeking supportive counselling is different from "dumping my bucket on my therapist"
>
> The first thing they teach you in therapist school is to counsel patients not to use absolutes, i.e., "always", "never", "can't"hmmm interesting. What kind of "Therapist School"?
>
> I just read someplace:
>
> "Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't - you'll be right.
>
> There is something to be said for taking ownership.
>
> Good Luck.Oh, it takes more than luck. Wasn't that your point?
Posted by Nadezda on July 29, 2008, at 16:48:22
In reply to Re: whew- finally a session today » Nadezda, posted by Hermitian on July 29, 2008, at 15:09:38
Gosh, Hermitian, I don't know how I could have misinterpreted you so. But thanks for setting me straight. I feel so much better now.
And I so glad to know you don't listen to yourself. Silly me. I thought it you wrote something here, you meant it to be taken seriously and thought about.
Of course I wouldn't dream of thinking you can help how I feel. After all, if someone says I'm dumping my bucket on my T, it can't be helped if I, or someone reading that, for unknown reasons, feels rather bad for a while. Who knows how people will react to what one writes, right?
Nadezda
Posted by gardenergirl on July 29, 2008, at 21:26:00
In reply to Re: whew- finally a session today, posted by Nadezda on July 29, 2008, at 16:48:22
Posted by no_rose_garden on July 29, 2008, at 21:54:14
In reply to whew- finally a session today, posted by llurpsienoodle on July 29, 2008, at 6:59:41
I'm glad it went well. :)
...and i hope your visitors go home soon.
Posted by Sigismund on July 30, 2008, at 3:30:24
In reply to Re: whew- finally a session today, posted by Hermitian on July 29, 2008, at 10:19:26
>There is something to be said for taking ownership.
There sure is.
What I don't understand is why it can feel/be so difficult or impossible.
These conversations remind me of things said before I started therapy.
People said the same things.
Now I would say them too.
But at the time, there was no way I could see how I could do that.
Posted by Sigismund on July 31, 2008, at 15:53:17
In reply to Re: whew- finally a session today, posted by Sigismund on July 30, 2008, at 3:30:24
Quite apart from the specific questions discussed in this thread, I think ownership and centrality of something or other (what? purpose?) are interesting subjects to discuss.
I might start a thread on this when I get it clearer in my mind.
This is the end of the thread.
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