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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by seldomseen on October 12, 2008, at 6:39:40
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/12/fashion/12love.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&ref=style
I thought this article might spark some interesting discussion.
What I like most about it (other than the humor) is that the couple was still able to value and use the relationship with the therapist despite things went wrong.
Was this really countertransference?
Seldom
Posted by Wittgensteinz on October 12, 2008, at 10:01:59
In reply to Interesting article about therapy, posted by seldomseen on October 12, 2008, at 6:39:40
Good article and good question!
Was the 'love poem' just a risky strategy of opening up something deeper in the woman's therapy - or was it a daring in-love therapist making a move? Why did he only make notes for her and not her husband? That I find peculiar. The woman doesn't really share how she felt toward him - I mean as a woman in relation to him as a man. Could it be that her feelings skewed her interpretation of his poem? I think if she had strong erotic feelings she wouldn't likely have been able to stand up and take control in the way she did.
My therapist has done things (not as blatant as writing a love-letter/poem) that have led me to wonder where the status lies regarding his countertransference feelings. He knows how I feel about him, but deciphering his feelings is like fitting together pieces of a puzzle or drawing a line between dots. Not that there is any question over the safety of the therapeutic nature of the relationship. I can't help but wonder if there is some intention on his part in creating that puzzle - it gives me more room to explore my issues with men, at least.
Do you think the author's therapist could have been doing something similar? Or simply going with his gut instinct and seeing where it led in terms of her treatment?
Had your therapist done something like that, would you have gone back?! I think I would have - perhaps my desire to look a potentially dangerous situation in the face - or my strong desire for love and approval (even if it comes at the price of exploitation/abuse).
Witti
Posted by Phillipa on October 12, 2008, at 11:14:57
In reply to Re: Interesting article about therapy, posted by Wittgensteinz on October 12, 2008, at 10:01:59
Maybe he treated the husband man to man and the woman in a different way and up North men seem to hold the upper hand. Lived there and Men have more power or did in the past. I'm glad she didn't go back. Phillipa
Posted by rskontos on October 12, 2008, at 14:27:17
In reply to Re: Interesting article about therapy, posted by Phillipa on October 12, 2008, at 11:14:57
You know what it makes me wonder, if when a person unveils their deepest thoughts and the events of things that have happened to them if it is not somewhat envitable that some type of transference occur. It seems that this therapist was drawn to her. Would he have acted upon this? I think maybe or maybe not. It might depend on her reaction and circumstances. It does seem like this therapist did drawn out of both feelings that laid latent. Maybe he wasn't a good fit for her but was for him. If sexual attraction a bad thing in therapy, depends I guess on again the circumstances. I can't stay I haven't had that issue. But as I think about this issue it seems that she could the possibility off at the knees before anything sticky could happen. Was that because she has issues. Again, we don't know because it seems she stopped the search before it really got started.
It is an interesting article. Very thought provoking.
rsk
Posted by DAisym on October 12, 2008, at 14:39:27
In reply to Re: Interesting article about therapy/seldom/, posted by rskontos on October 12, 2008, at 14:27:17
As a writer, I wonder if the therapist wasn't actually looking for her approval as a writer - not as a lover. And that can be more risky than flirting - giving someone what you've written. I think she missed this possibility. I think sometimes therapists are drawn into showing off for patients, or trying to prove themselves in some area beyond psychology.
The poem was seductive, especially the way it was offered to her. No doubt there. He did have control over whether he gave it to her and revealed his feelings. It isn't like when a male therapist gets an erection during a session - hard to control those body responses. I guess they learn to hide them...
I'm not sure what I would have done, but I think she did the right thing for herself. I'm jealous that she could talk so openly to her husband but perhaps this is why this didn't turn into a bad scene for her. Clearly growing up with stable parents allowed her attachment to her husband to be healthy and therapy was not a shameful secret.
My question - would you give this article to your therapist - why or why not?
Posted by rskontos on October 12, 2008, at 15:14:14
In reply to Re: Interesting article about therapy/seldom/, posted by DAisym on October 12, 2008, at 14:39:27
Daisym,
I thought about that while writing my response, and I would not just because of his response. I am not sure I want the type of discussion this article might induce.
rsk
ps rather what I think his response might be.
Posted by seldomseen on October 14, 2008, at 6:22:21
In reply to Re: Interesting article about therapy/seldom/, posted by DAisym on October 12, 2008, at 14:39:27
On a purely academic level, I think it would be fascinating to hear my therapist's thoughts on this situation.
But I don't think either one of us would be able to keep it academic.
In fact, I would lay even odds that he would say "do you have a desire for me to write you a poem Seldom?"
I just so do not want to go there.
Seldom.
ps I do think this was a disclosure on the part of the therapist. I've suspected that when my therapist takes copious notes he may be using that as a distraction technique while staying in the moment. You an almost hear his mind going, focus on the writing, focus on the writing....
Posted by vwoolf on October 14, 2008, at 11:51:59
In reply to Re: Interesting article about therapy/seldom/ » DAisym, posted by seldomseen on October 14, 2008, at 6:22:21
That sounds interesting. Distraction from what?
Posted by seldomseen on October 15, 2008, at 7:42:50
In reply to Re: Interesting article about therapy/seldom/ » seldomseen, posted by vwoolf on October 14, 2008, at 11:51:59
"Distraction from what?"
Well, I think my therapist takes notes to distract himself from several things. Boredom, anger, sexual arousal etc... Poor guy. It has to be tough sometimes to be a therapist.
He doesn't do it very often.
Seldom
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