![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by DAisym on October 16, 2008, at 13:39:02
Sometimes there are just those moments during a session when everything freezes and the exact right thing gets said.
I was mad at my therapist all weekend. I'm struggling with my divorce and he wanted me to stay in my adult-self to deal with things. He was trying to be protective. My younger parts, which have been out a lot, felt sent away. I was hurt. My pride told me I was being stupid, of course I have to be an adult to deal with a divorce. And therapy isn't all tea and sympathy - he wouldn't do me any good if he didn't say what I didn't want to hear.
So Monday I told him I was "all done" with the stories and the tears. I said it felt like it was over and it felt good. It was such a relief. He said, "really, seems pretty fast. Did I upset you some how or give you the idea I didn't want to hear anymore?" I said no. But I shut down and spent most of the session in silence.
Tuesday I opened up and told him off. We worked on what he missed and what I didn't say and why. He admitted that my ex pushes his buttons "he is so mean to you" and that he needs to watch himself around this. There was a lot of back and forth, but we were working through it.
Right before I left, I said, "I lied to you yesterday. I'm not really done with the stories and my younger parts have not gone away." He smiled and very gently said, "I knew that. I could feel them still."
It was the exact right thing to say.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on October 16, 2008, at 14:03:46
In reply to Moments of meeting, posted by DAisym on October 16, 2008, at 13:39:02
Hugs, sweetie: How long have you been going thru the divorce? How long married?
I got a divorce after 31 years of abuse, and know how excruciating it all is.
Hugs and Love, Sassy
Posted by Kath on October 16, 2008, at 14:36:29
In reply to Moments of meeting, posted by DAisym on October 16, 2008, at 13:39:02
Hi D,
Your T sounds amazing & your relationship with each other sounds really good.
I'm so glad you have someone so kind, caring & supportive & safe to accompany you through this painful time.
hugs, Kath
Posted by antigua3 on October 16, 2008, at 14:50:42
In reply to Moments of meeting, posted by DAisym on October 16, 2008, at 13:39:02
Isn't it great when it works out that way?
I had a session like that w/my T this week--so many pieces fit together in less than an hour--she was incredible. I called and left her a message telling her so, and she called me back to tell me how much she loved working w/me. Go figure. The insight I gained this week was years in the making, and it all spilled out today.
Keep up the good work!
antigua
Posted by lucie lu on October 16, 2008, at 16:09:24
In reply to Moments of meeting, posted by DAisym on October 16, 2008, at 13:39:02
Daisy,
That is such a beautiful story (I have a crush on your T). Your T is a real healer. I am very glad that you, adult and younger ones, are in such good hands.
Lucie
Posted by 10derHeart on October 17, 2008, at 0:35:48
In reply to Re: Moments of meeting » DAisym, posted by lucie lu on October 16, 2008, at 16:09:24
I have a crush on your therapist, too, just like luicie. A T-crush. Yup. I have a feeling she and I will have to stand in a long line, though....
I am always so thrilled God put him in your path, Daisy. If only no one ever had to suffer what you did as a child, that would be better. Yet, we are not to know the explanations for all that. All I can focus in on is the recent past and the fact you have this T. and he is THE very best T. for you. I can't imagine you doing this work with anyone less skilled, kind, sensitive and strong as he is with you.
It's awesome you had that moment. And Daisy, please don't tell my T. about my crush, he might feel badly...it'll be a Babblesecret, 'kay?
Posted by Dinah on October 17, 2008, at 8:43:02
In reply to Re: Moments of meeting, posted by 10derHeart on October 17, 2008, at 0:35:48
Make that three of us. :)
Daisy, I love when you describe moments like that. Those moments in my therapy always so thoroughly disarm me, and all my resistance melts away.
Posted by Phillipa on October 17, 2008, at 12:53:04
In reply to Re: Moments of meeting, posted by Dinah on October 17, 2008, at 8:43:02
Wish I had a T like you guys have. But can't seem to find one if anyone is inclined google therapists in Charlotte Nc and see what you all think insurance medicaire. I trust your judgement and not mine as have made so many mistakes. You could babblemail a name. Thanks Phillipa
Posted by twinleaf on October 17, 2008, at 13:50:30
In reply to Re: Moments of meeting, posted by Phillipa on October 17, 2008, at 12:53:04
Hi Philippa...there might well be a poster here who could give you the name of a therapist in your town, but only you can determine whether or not the therapist is a good match for you. Wouldn't it be much better to generate your own list of therapists- from your pdoc, internist, and local listings, and interview a number- until you find the one who feels "right"- like the one you had briefly a while ago? I think all of us here are in agreement that when you find a good match for you, you just know it. I don't think anyone can do this for you, just as they can't tell you what medications would be the best ones for you.
Posted by JayMac on October 17, 2008, at 18:22:15
In reply to Moments of meeting, posted by DAisym on October 16, 2008, at 13:39:02
That's neat. He provides a great definition of empathy. I'm glad here is there for you. =)
Take good care,
Jay
Posted by Phillipa on October 17, 2008, at 20:23:07
In reply to a therapist just right for you... » Phillipa, posted by twinleaf on October 17, 2008, at 13:50:30
Twinleaf tried three since living here and end up getting worse instead of better . Seriously I do need some feedback you guys know my med phobia and age and losses. Phillipa
Posted by twinleaf on October 17, 2008, at 21:50:39
In reply to Re: a therapist just right for you... » twinleaf, posted by Phillipa on October 17, 2008, at 20:23:07
What about telephoning the therapist you liked so much, and asking for several referrals whom you could interview?
Posted by rskontos on October 18, 2008, at 18:34:43
In reply to Moments of meeting, posted by DAisym on October 16, 2008, at 13:39:02
Daisym,
I am so glad you had such a moment! I will stand in line behind 10der and lucie. Mine t is good (recently he did something that really astounded me) but your T just sounds like GOLD!--this too needs to be a babble secret.
You have worked so hard, it is nice to have these sigh moments. ( I imagined you just sighing when he said that:) the "I know I felt it part". (paraphrased)
rsk
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.