Shown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Partlycloudy on December 2, 2008, at 17:19:21
She saw me early and I kept talking til past my hour was up. (((((generous T)))))
I'm kind of out of people to talk to - my DH is presently out of town and we left it on such a sour note, which I did more than my share to contribute to, even if it WAS the depression talking, it gave him such an earful :-(
My mother has been silent.
My sister has been silent; I know that I stirred up a real hornet's nest for her and we both need for our respective Stuff to settle somewhat. Plus we haven't ever had an easy time of speaking frankly with each other, it always comes out explosively and with a lot of pain.
My local friend has her own weighty issues going on at the moment, and though has offered to be there if I've needed her, did one of those TMI (Too Much Information!) overshares of intimate information to me recently, and frankly, I don't feel very safe talking to her - I think she knows it, too.
So let's see - husband, mother, sister, friend... nope, nope, nope, and another nope. I've got a lot of not very safe feeling places where I don't feel I can share how badly I'm doing at any given time.
Contrarily, I don't always feel up to answering the phone when it rings. Definitely that "meh" thing (aren't you glad that word made it into the dictionary this year?). I feel like it's my word.
The work-around is that my T has asked that I call her every day to check in with her. If I need a call back, I will ask her for one, or if she thinks I'm not sounding right, she'll call me.
I scheduled our next appointment with the anticipation that my husband will come with me. He doesn't know it yet, since he's working really hard at his out of town meeting right now. But if not the next session, then the one after that - I'm determined to get him in there for at least one session.
That's where I'm at tonight. It's been a tough day.
I did, though, have a really lovely phone call from another babbler earlier on today, which was so nice. Thank you, you who will not be named!
pc
Posted by Kath on December 2, 2008, at 20:58:33
In reply to Therapy felt like an oasis in a desert, posted by Partlycloudy on December 2, 2008, at 17:19:21
>> Contrarily, I don't always feel up to answering the phone when it rings. Definitely that "meh" thing (aren't you glad that word made it into the dictionary this year?). I feel like it's my word.
~ ~ ~ I think I'll add that word to my vocabulary!!! I've actually never said it. I think it'd feel quite 'liberating' to say it if I really felt that way! ~ ~ ~
>
> The work-around is that my T has asked that I call her every day to check in with her. If I need a call back, I will ask her for one, or if she thinks I'm not sounding right, she'll call me.~ ~ ~ That is SUCH good news. I imagine that must feel really reassuring. Your T sounds amazing ya know. The therapist who I sometimes see through my husbands EAP is really nice. If I phone & leave her a message & don't sound great, she'll call back & say something like, "I just wanted to make sure you're okay. You didn't sound great" or something like that. It makes me feel really cared-about.
So does your T comment on your meds situation? Or do you go to your pdoc for that? Or fam. doctor? I might have known that, but memory is NOT good. :-)
many hugs, Kath
Posted by onceupon on December 2, 2008, at 22:05:29
In reply to Therapy felt like an oasis in a desert, posted by Partlycloudy on December 2, 2008, at 17:19:21
Cheers to your therapist for offering extended support. And cheers to the dictionary writers for including "meh." Has "gah!" been added yet? Cause I think it needs to be.
But mostly, cheers to you for refusing to take this current bout of depression lying down. (Which, IMO, includes literally lying down when you need to.)
Posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on December 2, 2008, at 23:48:58
In reply to Therapy felt like an oasis in a desert, posted by Partlycloudy on December 2, 2008, at 17:19:21
Hi PC,
For all you are going through, this last post you sound stronger or something, even if everyone is letting you down right now. (Boy do I know how that feels).
Was the thing with your local friend of TMI, was that her or you?
Your T sounds really great, how long have you had her? I am sure you told me, but I am forgetting lots of stuff being a total scatter brain. Is there a DSM for that?
I hope your DH gets to an appointment soon, he needs to be on your side helping you through this. He seems like nice guy, but like most guys I know (especially husband's) you have to point out the obvious because they don't get it. Or maybe it is safer the don't, I am not sure.
I am also counting on my T for that safe place because I don't have much of one either. Keep plugging away, you can do this! I have a feeling that all the junk we have suffered is going to make us super human some day.
Posted by Partlycloudy on December 3, 2008, at 6:27:04
In reply to Re: Therapy felt like an oasis in a desert » Partlycloudy, posted by Kath on December 2, 2008, at 20:58:33
> So does your T comment on your meds situation? Or do you go to your pdoc for that? Or fam. doctor? I might have known that, but memory is NOT good. :-)
>
> many hugs, KathShe will comment quite pointedly about my meds - she's the one who suggested when the PTSD started to manifest itself so heavily that I see my pdoc for a review of my medications. (And that's when it went a bit wrong, but none of us could have predicted that.)
But she's not qualified to make specific recommendation about medications - she just pulls out her own battered copy of "Feeling Good" because it's got such a comprehensive drug listing in there - and we talk generally about it.Hugs right back to you. Thank you so much.
Posted by Partlycloudy on December 3, 2008, at 6:36:08
In reply to Re: Therapy felt like an oasis in a desert, posted by onceupon on December 2, 2008, at 22:05:29
> Cheers to your therapist for offering extended support. And cheers to the dictionary writers for including "meh." Has "gah!" been added yet? Cause I think it needs to be.
Gah is in my personal dictionary, for certain. Who knows when the world will catch up to us?
>
> But mostly, cheers to you for refusing to take this current bout of depression lying down. (Which, IMO, includes literally lying down when you need to.)Thanks. We talked about this yesterday, how I have been more assertive in taking charge of my own case management, since I have to coordinate it between my T, my pdoc, my chiropractor, my yoga instructor, and my neurologist. I actually credit my old pdoc for making me into my own advocate for my care - because I ended up having to fight with her on every front. My dx, whatever medications I was taking; everything became a battle with her. And at some point, I realized that this doctor might have THOUGHT that they knew what was best for me, but ultimately, I had to listen to my intuition and the messages my body was giving me, and instead make THAT the real authority. Because that doctor? Turned out to have been wrong on many, many issues. And it turns out that she's got a terrible reputation within the local medical community for giving poor care and not listening carefully to her patients' problems. So I'm really glad that got out when I did, and it just established me as the Expert on Me. I really do know best, especially when I let myself get quiet and listen to myself.
What an important lesson, eh?
Posted by Partlycloudy on December 3, 2008, at 6:39:23
In reply to Re: Therapy felt like an oasis in a desert » Partlycloudy, posted by SlugSlimersSoSlided on December 2, 2008, at 23:48:58
> Hi PC,
>
> For all you are going through, this last post you sound stronger or something, even if everyone is letting you down right now. (Boy do I know how that feels).
> Was the thing with your local friend of TMI, was that her or you?Oh, boy, that was her giving me TMI. (Shudder.)
> Your T sounds really great, how long have you had her?
About four years. And I was referred to her by my old T when she decided to retire her private practice, but I didn't go to her at first. Had a couple of "bad" therapists through the insurance system.
> I am sure you told me, but I am forgetting lots of stuff being a total scatter brain. Is there a DSM for that?
> I hope your DH gets to an appointment soon, he needs to be on your side helping you through this. He seems like nice guy, but like most guys I know (especially husband's) you have to point out the obvious because they don't get it. Or maybe it is safer the don't, I am not sure.He's supposed to come with me next week.
> I am also counting on my T for that safe place because I don't have much of one either. Keep plugging away, you can do this! I have a feeling that all the junk we have suffered is going to make us super human some day.
Posted by Phillipa on December 3, 2008, at 13:03:38
In reply to Re: Therapy felt like an oasis in a desert » SlugSlimersSoSlided, posted by Partlycloudy on December 3, 2008, at 6:39:23
PC late was working last night but you've had pdocs that dictate so to speake also. Like the one had here. Love Phillipa. How all is better a little today.
Posted by Kath on December 3, 2008, at 19:49:57
In reply to Therapy felt like an oasis in a desert, posted by Partlycloudy on December 2, 2008, at 17:19:21
You're in my thoughts.
luv, Kath
Posted by onceupon on December 3, 2008, at 22:46:13
In reply to Re: Therapy felt like an oasis in a desert » onceupon, posted by Partlycloudy on December 3, 2008, at 6:36:08
I can envision a lot of other directions that your pdoc's incompetence might have pushed you. I say keep the credit for yourself!
I especially liked this:
"...but ultimately, I had to listen to my intuition and the messages my body was giving me, and instead make THAT the real authority."
What an important lesson, indeed. Any chance you've patented, marketed, or published your methods? :)
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