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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by gardenergirl on January 4, 2009, at 10:02:49
Hi all,
I'm about to head out to go up to my dad's town. He's in the hospital after falling at home and breaking a bone in his neck. He's going to have surgery late today or more likely tomorrow, and given his poor health, I need to go up there to see him and see him through this.I think I'm okay. It's weird, but I think I'm okay. None of this is unexpected, as his health has been declining for some time. I know more about it now that I've spoken to his nurse, and that what he has is end-stage. Knowledge is good, I think. But I seem calmish. Not losing it. Getting done what I need to, though I'm also probably using busy work and preparations to keep my mind off of the more painful stuff. And I do get wired and tense and so on (just ask Racer, poor dear who listened to me so patiently last night), so I know I need to take some time to try to relax--yoga, meditation, whatever.
But I think I'm okay. Or I'm numb. In denial. Stuffing my feelings (well, I know I'm doing that at times, when I'm trying to get thru a call and don't want to cry at that moment). Or displacing. Or whatever other defense mechanism I might be using. But honestly...I think I'm okay. Can you tell I don't trust that? I feel like I'm not supposed to be okay, that I should be falling apart. Sigh.
Weird stuff.
Glad Dad and I have developed an actual relationship over the last few years.
Glad he's being well taken care of for once, all things considered.
Sigh.
Probably won't have much internet access while I'm gone. Please think of me...
gg
Posted by Partlycloudy on January 4, 2009, at 10:57:23
In reply to Dad fell, needs surgery, think I'm okay?, posted by gardenergirl on January 4, 2009, at 10:02:49
I'm glad you have someone to talk you. It sounds like you're taking care of yourself, that's easy to let fall by the wayside.
Thinking of you and your dad.
pc
Posted by Phillipa on January 4, 2009, at 13:14:22
In reply to Re: Dad fell, needs surgery, think I'm okay? » gardenergirl, posted by Partlycloudy on January 4, 2009, at 10:57:23
Good luck to you and your Dad. Phillipa
Posted by Nadezda on January 4, 2009, at 16:18:51
In reply to Dad fell, needs surgery, think I'm okay?, posted by gardenergirl on January 4, 2009, at 10:02:49
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, gardenergirl. That is difficult. But stuffing feelings as you call it isn't necessarily a bad thing, if you need to-- sometimes it helps you get through a bad time and still be of use to others-- when they need you most. When the time comes, I'm sure you process everything that's happened. And the things that you accomplish because you're not overwhelmed will help later, too.
Maybe it's not really stuffing them, but knowing how and when to let them surface, and when you need to be functioning, instead of feeling.
I admire your willingness to be there for your Dad. It's really a hard thing, no matter how strong you feel. It'll be very much worth it, to have this time with him.
But I'm really sorry to hear that he's not doing well. I hope he comes through the operation and recovery and that his spirits are good.
I'll definitely be thinking of you..
Nadezda
Posted by DAisym on January 4, 2009, at 20:30:40
In reply to Dad fell, needs surgery, think I'm okay?, posted by gardenergirl on January 4, 2009, at 10:02:49
My prayers are with you and your dad. I hope his surgery is successful and he is made as comfortable as possible.
Your calm may come from the acceptance of his illness and age - and from the fact that you have built a better relationship over time. But don't be surprised if you alternate between falling apart and taking care of things - that seems pretty normal to me. I think we all find strength we didn't know we had at challenging time.
My thoughts are with you.
Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2009, at 21:36:00
In reply to Dad fell, needs surgery, think I'm okay?, posted by gardenergirl on January 4, 2009, at 10:02:49
My experience is that at the moment I do tend to be ok. Whether or not I fall apart later differs. But during the crisis, I can be eerily calm.
I'll be keeping you and your dad in my thoughts. I'm glad you've had the opportunity to get closer.
Posted by antigua3 on January 5, 2009, at 6:30:59
In reply to Dad fell, needs surgery, think I'm okay?, posted by gardenergirl on January 4, 2009, at 10:02:49
I hope you'll be OK. Like others have said, try to take care of yourself, too. Try to enjoy this time (if that's the right word), and keep a steady hand. You'll be glad later that you had this opportunity, although I know that sounds weird.
We'll be thinking of you and your dad.
antigua
Posted by Annierose on January 5, 2009, at 7:32:52
In reply to Dad fell, needs surgery, think I'm okay?, posted by gardenergirl on January 4, 2009, at 10:02:49
I'm here too ... give me a call. I can take you to my yoga studio (new students are free for two weeks!).
Thinking of you -
Annie
Posted by gardenergirl on January 5, 2009, at 18:15:48
In reply to Re: Dad fell, needs surgery, think I'm okay?, posted by Annierose on January 5, 2009, at 7:32:52
Thanks for all the support, everyone. I'm on a computer in the lobby of a hotel, so I can't reply individually. My sister and I visited my dad today, and brought her son. Dad had never seen his only grandchild yet, so this was very special, and my most precious nephew was a real trouper and charmed everyone.
Dad looks pretty good, all things considered, and he seems like himself. We met his surgeon, a new one called in who is supposed to be quite skilled at more difficult stuff, and it was good to talk to him and for me to see the MRI and CT images. Dad is one very very lucky man in that he could have very easily wound up a quadriplegic or worse.
Surgery will be Wednesday. My sis and her son go home Thursday. Not sure what I'll be doing yet. Pretty exhausted at the moment and looking forward to a quiet, early evening--assuming my uncle brought my dad a hamburger. Otherwise, I'm headed back out for a bit.
Your words and encouragement mean a great deal to me, thank you so much. And it's comforting to have this connection when I'm away from home and dealing with stuff.
Annierose, I'll call if I have time--will be in your city Wednesday night and sis flies out of there Thursday a.m. I did bring my yoga mat and made sure to put in a good session this a.m. before we went to the hospital. :)
Love to you all,
gg
Posted by Kath on January 5, 2009, at 20:27:50
In reply to Thanks and update, posted by gardenergirl on January 5, 2009, at 18:15:48
My thoughts are with you, your Dad & whole family.
(((((((you)))))))
sincerely,Kath
Posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2009, at 10:01:57
In reply to Re: Thanks and update » gardenergirl, posted by Kath on January 5, 2009, at 20:27:50
Everything went really well--better even than I let myself hope. My dad is amazing & he is really emotional now--grateful to be alive, openly expressing love & vulnerability... I am so moved & thankful.
The night before I emailed my old T assuming he would get it the next day. He replied that night with very comforting words.
Got lots of rest last night & feel good today.
Thanks for being here.
gg
sent from pda
Posted by Kath on January 8, 2009, at 15:52:00
In reply to Surgery went really well, posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2009, at 10:01:57
So glad to hear it & thx for letting us know.
((((((((((((((you))))))))))))))
luv, Kath
Posted by Dinah on January 8, 2009, at 16:49:33
In reply to Surgery went really well, posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2009, at 10:01:57
I'm so glad, gg.
Posted by Annierose on January 8, 2009, at 17:08:25
In reply to Surgery went really well, posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2009, at 10:01:57
It's the best news ever! Here's hoping his recovery continues to go splendidly!!
Posted by Phillipa on January 8, 2009, at 23:53:52
In reply to Re: Surgery went really well, posted by Annierose on January 8, 2009, at 17:08:25
Fantastic news sleep well. Love Phillipa
Posted by antigua3 on January 9, 2009, at 10:55:39
In reply to Surgery went really well, posted by gardenergirl on January 8, 2009, at 10:01:57
This is the end of the thread.
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