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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by obsidian on January 15, 2009, at 19:10:20
I am tired of being anxious
I am tired of everything
f*ck it, f*ck it, f*ck it
f*ck it all
thanks,
sid
Posted by obsidian on January 15, 2009, at 19:12:23
In reply to I've decided to get drunk...., posted by obsidian on January 15, 2009, at 19:10:20
I haven't been drunk in years, in fact I truly dislike alcohol, but it'll have to do for the moment
Posted by obsidian on January 15, 2009, at 19:43:17
In reply to by the way...., posted by obsidian on January 15, 2009, at 19:12:23
eat first
Posted by jammerlich on January 15, 2009, at 19:55:16
In reply to note to self..., posted by obsidian on January 15, 2009, at 19:43:17
(((((Obsidian))))) Anything you want to talk about?
I'd join you in getting drunk, but all I have is tequila. It's not good enough for shots and I don't have any good mixers. Bummer.
Posted by obsidian on January 15, 2009, at 20:07:21
In reply to Re: note to self... » obsidian, posted by jammerlich on January 15, 2009, at 19:55:16
oh jammer, I'm not very good at drinking
wouldn't even know what to do with a mixer
I'm just tired, tired of being anxious, tired of pushing through,tired of taking care of other people
and I couldn't make it to therapy tonight and I was angry about that
but I talked to T on phone, asked me how I was
nothing I could explain in less than 5 minutes
I'm anxious...as usual, so what
told me to call my pdoc
I see pdoc monday so why bother
I'm angry with no one to blame
so I have pretzels and smirnoffs
pathetic really
Posted by Dinah on January 15, 2009, at 20:28:58
In reply to I've decided to get drunk...., posted by obsidian on January 15, 2009, at 19:10:20
I was thinking of taking up drinking the last few weeks. The anxiety is getting to me. But my husband threw away my ancient bottle of rum, so all we've got is some cooking wine. And I only feel bad enough in the evening to want to drink, so I never restock.
I don't want to be drunk though. I don't like that feeling.
I'm sorry you couldn't make it to therapy this evening. Is something in particular causing you anxiety? I'm glad you see your pdoc Monday. At some point I throw my hands up at everything but medication solutions.
Posted by Sigismund on January 15, 2009, at 20:58:36
In reply to Re: I've decided to get drunk.... » obsidian, posted by Dinah on January 15, 2009, at 20:28:58
There was an understandable generational panic in our family, but one day this ancient aunt visited, and she had the generosity and good sense to say
'Oh yes, for a long time I felt very anxious and I would have a whisky with breakfast. Just one.'I loved her for that.
Posted by obsidian on January 15, 2009, at 22:20:46
In reply to Re: I've decided to get drunk.... » obsidian, posted by Dinah on January 15, 2009, at 20:28:58
> I was thinking of taking up drinking the last few weeks. The anxiety is getting to me. But my husband threw away my ancient bottle of rum, so all we've got is some cooking wine. And I only feel bad enough in the evening to want to drink, so I never restock.
>
> I don't want to be drunk though. I don't like that feeling.you know, neither do I. I remember again why.
I guess that is why I too have an ancient bottle of rum. I opted for these fruity fizzy things..yuck.> I'm sorry you couldn't make it to therapy this evening. Is something in particular causing you anxiety? I'm glad you see your pdoc Monday. At some point I throw my hands up at everything but medication solutions.
I need some support right now, but it's not possible, so I'll settle for sleep when I can get it.
I don't feel well...I'm now drinking a lot of water. My father is an alcoholic, but I can't tolerate alcohol...just as well I suppose. yuck.
my pdoc will probably tell me to take more seroquel...I did up the dose one day myself a little while ago when I was a bit agitated. It gave me some funky deja-vu stuff the next day...I'll pass on that, I don't think it helps too much anyway unless I am entering myself in a 'how drowsy can you be at work' contest.
I better go to bed. I do like sleep after all, it's just that life gets in the way of it.
-self indulgent whining completed,
thanks
Posted by obsidian on January 15, 2009, at 22:22:02
In reply to Re: I've decided to get drunk...., posted by Sigismund on January 15, 2009, at 20:58:36
she sounds like fun
Posted by Phillipa on January 16, 2009, at 13:14:28
In reply to Re: I've decided to get drunk.... » Sigismund, posted by obsidian on January 15, 2009, at 22:22:02
I used to drink not a drink in 14 years no wasn't a problem for me just stopped. But I did feel good most of time. No hate being drunk. Phillipa
Posted by rskontos on January 16, 2009, at 13:17:30
In reply to I've decided to get drunk...., posted by obsidian on January 15, 2009, at 19:10:20
i'm so sorry you are in this deep pain.
i understand anxiety. got xanax?
that is what I do.
rsk
Posted by obsidian on January 16, 2009, at 20:59:53
In reply to Re: I've decided to get drunk.... » obsidian, posted by rskontos on January 16, 2009, at 13:17:30
thanks rsk,
I have klonopin...I took a couple with the stuff I drank last night (only amounted to about 4 drinks-again, I am so NOT a drinker)
I've got a case of the "f*ck its" as I like to call them
did a stupid thing last night, not a big deal though-it's not serious, but I keep shaking my head at myself, because another thing I am generally not is a cutter. I can't believe I did that. jesus.note to self: don't drink when angry, anxious and depressed
Posted by rskontos on January 17, 2009, at 20:56:40
In reply to self harm trigger? » rskontos, posted by obsidian on January 16, 2009, at 20:59:53
oh obsidian,
i am sorry. But i do understand how life can get the best of all of all of us sometimes.
well here is a cyberhug. hope it helps.
((((((((((((Obsidian)))))))))))))
rsk
Posted by obsidian on January 18, 2009, at 0:27:36
In reply to Re: self harm trigger? » obsidian, posted by rskontos on January 17, 2009, at 20:56:40
> oh obsidian,
>
> i am sorry. But i do understand how life can get the best of all of all of us sometimes.> well here is a cyberhug. hope it helps.
it does rsk, I need all I can get..thanks :-)
>
> ((((((((((((Obsidian)))))))))))))
>
> rsk
Posted by Kath on January 18, 2009, at 19:40:26
In reply to Re: self harm trigger? » rskontos, posted by obsidian on January 18, 2009, at 0:27:36
(((((((((((((((((((((((((you)))))))))))))))))))))
I'm sorry you're going through these feelings.
luv, Kath
Posted by obsidian on January 18, 2009, at 20:27:25
In reply to Re: self harm trigger? » obsidian, posted by Kath on January 18, 2009, at 19:40:26
thanks Kath,
it's much appreciated :-)
-sid
Posted by Kath on January 19, 2009, at 15:21:37
In reply to Re: self harm trigger? » Kath, posted by obsidian on January 18, 2009, at 20:27:25
Posted by obsidian on January 19, 2009, at 23:03:33
In reply to How are you doing now? (nm) » obsidian, posted by Kath on January 19, 2009, at 15:21:37
thanks for asking Kath :-)
quiet desperation...is the phrase that comes to mind
I'm ok, but I'm feeling kind of depressed
I seem to have this pattern...I get into some low mood, I feel overwhelmed, I keep moving, and then I think..'If I can just take care of this, and this'.. etc, then I do, and I start to feel a bit more in controloverall, I don't feel safe. I don't relate this to any real danger (from myself or anyone else) or some concrete issue in my life (but believe me, I have a lot of concrete issues to deal with), but I feel fearful and sad. I can cry really easily and I feel pretty fragile.
Since just after the holidays I've been feeling kind of shakey. scattered and shattered- I wish I knew why those words seem to fit so well- the "scattered and shattered"
http://www.stingetc.com/lyrics/lithium.shtml
see above for what I'm referencing thereIt's really not like me to do what I did the other night. I just don't like how I feel right now. I spent a lot of time smoking pot in 2008, now nothing, and I've got to say I am pretty damn addicted.
I'm going to try and take care of myself and see how it goes. I wish I could see my therapist more. I only saw him once in the past 4 weeks. now that last sentence makes me feel needy, because well, I am. there's always sleep right? I can always do that provided I have the time.well, aren't you sorry you asked that question? ;-)
Hope all is well with you kath,
sid
This is the end of the thread.
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