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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by DAisym on January 26, 2009, at 0:18:31
Some of you know that my son has been in therapy since he was 11. His therapist has moved offices a couple of times over the years, always sharing with other therapists. Now that he is driving, he takes himself to his sessions. Last week he came home and as usual I asked, "anything I need to know?" He said no -but "someone broke the rules in the waiting room." (gasp)
Me: "They talked to you?"
Him: "Yup. They asked me why I was there."
Me: "No! Really? What did you say?"
Him: "I said I was a mass murderer."
Me: "Not funny. You could scare someone. What did you really say?"
Him: "I said I have anger issues." (He laughed, because to him this would be the opposite of his anxiety)
Me: "What did they say to that?"
Him: "He said "oh." And then the guy told me he had anxiety."
Me: "It was an adult?"
Him: "yeah, kind of an old guy. (I'm picturing someone 40 at this point) Then he asked me who I'm seeing."
Me: "Did you tell him?"
Him: "Yeah. He seemed relieved. I bet he was worried I was seeing his therapist."
Me: "I think we all sort of worry about that. I hate when I have to change my time. I always worry there will be some kind of mix up."
Him: "Me too. It's happened to me actually. I came on the wrong week."
me: "Really? You never told me. I bet that was awful."
Him: "Yeah. I got sent away. But it was my fault. But at least I've never talked to someone else in the waiting room. They should hang a sign - "No Talking."And then he went in his room. But I couldn't help laughing. All the things we all worry about - and talk about here. I guess I forget that my kid would have some of the same worries. So, I have to ask, "Do you talk in the waiting room?"
Posted by wittgensteinz on January 26, 2009, at 3:15:54
In reply to Waiting Room Rules, posted by DAisym on January 26, 2009, at 0:18:31
I think your son handled it well.
As for me - yes and no - where I live it's custom and polite to say "hello" or "good morning" when entering a waiting room - whether it be a the doctors, vets or psychiatrist. You don't just ignore the existence of the other people. Further than that, however, there is no communication. As for my therapist, I've never ever seen another of his patients. He times it so we arrive with 15 minute breaks and he works from home, so that's never been an issue. I have talked to his wife though - or I should say she has spoken to me - which felt strange.
Witti
Posted by sharon7 on January 26, 2009, at 10:30:10
In reply to Re: Waiting Room Rules » DAisym, posted by wittgensteinz on January 26, 2009, at 3:15:54
hey. i agree, too, that your son handled it quite well. if i do speak with someone in the waiting room it would only be about the weather or something. never about why im there (unless there's a cute guy waiting and i decide to use one of those stale 'psychiatrist office pick up lines' like "so.... how many personalities to YOU have?!?" or, "ill show you my meds if you show me yours!") lol. just kidding. seriously though. i don't think people in the waiting room should ask you who you are there to see and why. (o:
Posted by backseatdriver on January 26, 2009, at 12:04:21
In reply to Re: Waiting Room Rules, posted by sharon7 on January 26, 2009, at 10:30:10
My T has no rules for the waiting room. It is a fairly desolate place, with bad lighting and broken chairs, an outer circle of hell. I don't talk to anyone there; it is empty usually anyway.
Sometimes I scrawl DUST ME on the dusty white-noise machine.
Posted by Phillipa on January 26, 2009, at 13:03:42
In reply to Re: Waiting Room Rules, posted by backseatdriver on January 26, 2009, at 12:04:21
Wow I'm different every where I go every waiting room I ask questions of the others and hence they seem glad to answer and before long know there history even in stores. Am I wierd? Love Phillipa
Posted by sassyfrancesca on January 26, 2009, at 14:00:00
In reply to Re: Waiting Room Rules, posted by Phillipa on January 26, 2009, at 13:03:42
My t has a beautiful office complex......I am the last client of the day, so only 1 person walks out; usually a quick hello and that's it. I am the only one waiting.
One night my t asked: "What are you talking about to my client?"
I said: "That is privileged information."
He cracked up.
Posted by rskontos on January 26, 2009, at 15:37:19
In reply to Waiting Room Rules, posted by DAisym on January 26, 2009, at 0:18:31
Well. I have only encountered two people. One was when he booked two of us at the same time, oops, and the young man realized it before I did and pointed it out. I tried to bolt, I was very unstable but the young man wasn't and he handled things better than I did. He talked to me very nicely and said are you suppose to be here at 11:00 and I said yes and he said me too. I guess Dr. X made a mistake and laughed. Now I was mortified. But the young man called out to him, Dr. X, and told him the situation and got everything straightened out. He left, the young man, and came back another day. Dr. X said he was doing well, and I was going to bolt so I got the time.
The second time it was the husband of a client and I panicked thinking it was the same situation as the first time but the man said no he was waiting for his wife. He started talking about the weather and nothing specific and was actually a nice conversation. He made me feel ok.
But I will admit I always to this day, glance around the corner to make sure no one is in the waiting room and so far it hasn't happened again. Thank God.
so I guess the other people handled the talking better than I do.
rsk
Posted by raisinb on January 26, 2009, at 15:41:27
In reply to Waiting Room Rules, posted by DAisym on January 26, 2009, at 0:18:31
Sure, I have. I don't ask them why they're there or who they're seeing, though! Usually I have a reason. Like I saw a woman grading papers one Thursday, and since I am a teacher as well, I asked her where she taught, what grade, etc.
Posted by Dinah on January 26, 2009, at 16:47:39
In reply to Re: Waiting Room Rules » DAisym, posted by rskontos on January 26, 2009, at 15:37:19
Once someone showed up at the same time I did. One of us asked the other if we were also here to see X, because the receptionist had somehow made it clear that there was a problem. I think we joked briefly about it, though I can't now quite recall.
I met someone I knew at the waiting room of my pdoc. We hadn't seen each other for a while, and did the acquaintances bumping into each other catching up. She was eying me speculatively, and I'm sure I looked a bit curious too. But I don't *think* we exchanged reasons for being there.
I'm sure the other person was just nervous and making conversation. Difficult situation.
Sometimes at the old office kids would come in, and I'd talk to them. Can't recall if any of them asked why I was there, and I know I didn't.
Posted by wittgensteinz on January 26, 2009, at 17:01:35
In reply to Re: Waiting Room Rules, posted by Phillipa on January 26, 2009, at 13:03:42
I think the important thing to think about is, how do these conversations come up - do you just outright ask people why they are there and what their problem is? Or do you just get talking and it comes around to that and you both share? I think if the latter is the case, then that's just being friendly but I personally would find it hard if a complete stranger asked me outright such personal questions. I don't think you're weird.
Witti
Posted by Nadezda on January 26, 2009, at 19:29:50
In reply to Re: Waiting Room Rules » Phillipa, posted by wittgensteinz on January 26, 2009, at 17:01:35
I never realized there were rules. But then I never do.
I usually say hi, or something of that sort when another P and I pass by one another, but I wouldn't ask any questions-- or expect anyone to ask.
If someone did, I would probably be polite but not give out anything other than rather concrete information (eg, when my appointment is, what time it is, what day of the week it is, etc) and would be rather taken aback if asked for more.
On the other hand your son seems like he's in a more public space (several Ts sharing a waiting room), so there might be more latitude for questions. I wouldn't expect it get at all personal-- even putting it as "who are you seeing" and opposed to "you don't have an appointment with Dr. x (my doctor), do you?"-- if I was worried about an overlap. I rather think the other person shouldn't have asked it quite that way myself-- but your son certainly responded in a good way.
It's funny. I'm fairly narrow in which I consider acceptable-- but I wouldn't have said I had any rules. More expectations and a comfort level than rules.
Nadezda
Posted by raisinb on January 26, 2009, at 20:11:49
In reply to Waiting Room Rules, posted by DAisym on January 26, 2009, at 0:18:31
I have never heard of there being formal rules.
My therapist is part of a group practice, so others' clients are usually in the waiting room. I hate the rare moments I see someone coming out with a receipt in my therapist's handwriting.
I like to look at how the other therapists look/act/greet their clients, and usually I'm glad I see mine. They all look weird. I'm sure there's some transference thing going on there ;)
Posted by Suedehead on January 26, 2009, at 20:18:35
In reply to Re: Waiting Room Rules, posted by Nadezda on January 26, 2009, at 19:29:50
There's almost *never* anyone in the waiting room when I go to see my T, which I don't understand, considering that the room is shared by probably half a dozen therapists. Seriously, I've seen people there two or three times, and that's it. Once, a women nodded hello to me, and I thought that it was nice. Although I'd never initiate conversation myself, I honestly wouldn't mind being spoken to. I probably wouldn't want to discuss my reasons for being in therapy, but, hey, you never know.
Posted by Phillipa on January 26, 2009, at 20:32:41
In reply to Re: Waiting Room Rules » Phillipa, posted by wittgensteinz on January 26, 2009, at 17:01:35
Witti just start talking and next thing you know we know each other's whole history. I've learned quite a bit from these conversations. Love Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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