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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by antigua3 on March 11, 2009, at 16:09:01
Does anyone have any experience with "Brief Therapy"? My pdoc brought it up last night and I've been researching it pretty much all day, and I've found lots of things, but I'm more interested in knowing of anyone who has ever undergone this specific therapy.
It is based on the work of Milton Erickson.
Thanks,
antigua
Posted by GeneLady on March 11, 2009, at 23:20:29
In reply to 'Brief Therapy', posted by antigua3 on March 11, 2009, at 16:09:01
I haven't heard of that exact phrase but the concept of short term therapy I thought was fairly common. I think it's oriented at developing tools to work with an issue(s)in a short period of time as compared, to, say digging into one's background and family a great deal.
A number of years ago when my T died I was calling around and talked to one T who said she would not have kept me the 3 years that the (then deceased) T had kept me. I found the "3-month T" on the internet and she seems to think around 3 months is enough. It was not enough for me ... grieving takes a lot longer than that and I needed the support. On the other hand, perhaps for some people, focusing very clearly on certain strategies is very adequate. The insurance companies must love it. Probably just depends on the issues and needs and strategies and T and individual. Sometimes just the dynamics between T and patient might be enough to carry the person for quite awhile w/o long term therapy.
> Does anyone have any experience with "Brief Therapy"? My pdoc brought it up last night and I've been researching it pretty much all day, and I've found lots of things, but I'm more interested in knowing of anyone who has ever undergone this specific therapy.
>
> It is based on the work of Milton Erickson.
>
> Thanks,
> antigua
Posted by antigua3 on March 12, 2009, at 6:50:38
In reply to Re: 'Brief Therapy' » antigua3, posted by GeneLady on March 11, 2009, at 23:20:29
Yes, it's an exact phrase, although it does mean the words brief therapy at the same time. Don't see how there has been anything brief about my therapy w/my pdoc, but he mentioned this technique as one he uses to speed the process along, admitting that it can be very intense and painful. Don't see how it applies in my case, except that he doesn't want me in therapy with him for "20 years" (which was an outright insult to my current T) but I thought i'd ask if anyone knew about it. Mostly, I don't see how you can do it w/someone you already have some type of relationship with--I think that's not part of it, which could help to explain why he says we have no relationship. (I can hear all the sighs coming from the board already!)
thanks,
antigua
Posted by lucie lu on March 12, 2009, at 12:20:29
In reply to Re: 'Brief Therapy' » GeneLady, posted by antigua3 on March 12, 2009, at 6:50:38
I have no experience with that specific type of brief therapy. However, all the therapy I had before starting with my current T several years ago, could be considered brief. There was always something immediate that brought me into therapy, whether a depressive episode or a particularly distressing problem or both. I have to say that even though the presenting issues were often addressed satisfactorily, the relief never lasted. IMO people who have had more serious and chronic problems, e.g. long-term trauma histories, are not going to be well served by brief therapies. I subscribe to the brain circuitry school and it seems clear to me that if our brains have taken years to form maladaptive circuits, rewiring those circuits is not going to be possible overnight. I believe that real change of any magnitude takes time.
Why your pdoc thinks increasing your dose of pain and anxiety is therapeutic for you is frankly beyond me. Is he in a hurry for some reason? I think this route poses a very high risk of retraumatizing you. I know you feel that sometimes there is something worthwhile, on balance, in this relationship but I still feel worried for you. You probably know that, from animal studies, intermittent reinforcement is much more compelling than steady reinforcement. That is part of the mechanism of the Stockholm Syndrome.
I have to say that the more I hear of your story with your pdoc, Antigua, the more concerned I feel. I hear you that everything we hear is through your filter. And yes, there may be a few distortions. But overall, you do not seem the sort of person who is incapable of reporting things with overall good accuracy. I think you may be selling yourself short in that department. I think you may be focusing too much on a few blind spots that you've been discovering, while overlooking the accuracy and consistency of the more numerous negative perceptions. Your stories are consistent about him except where it seems almost that you want to sprinkle in some good things about him. And indeed I'm sure he may have some redeeming qualities. But overall? I don't want to try and analyze you, but did something like this happen with your father, where it was such a difficult and painful relationship but you kept hoping there was some good there underneath? If so, I can empathize with that. And if so, I can see re-experiencing but not resolution happening here. Or could it be that the resolution you seek is the opportunity to extricate yourself from a negative relationship by making a positive, healthful choice on your own behalf? Trusting your own feelings and observations? If so, then your therapy with him would have been worthwhile. You may have already gotten out of it the benefits of letting yourself explore the relationship and by making your own choice about when to leave it.
It would be hard for me too to not feel ambivalent about him were I in your shoes. But don't let that blind you to the fact that overall, you are struggling, and have been for some time, with a painful and predominantly negative, potentially traumatizing interaction. Frankly it is hard, at least from the outside, to foresee what the benefit is to this route and it could well end up being damaging. If you want to get over negative paternal transference, it doesn't have to be with someone who is mean to you or where there is real hate and insecurity in the relationship! You can do it even with an empathic and kind male T because of the nature of transference. You can still feel the force of the transference (I promise you!) but without having to worry about whether there is an element of truth to it associated with the T himself.
I hope I am not speaking out of line, Antigua. I am concerned and care about you and wish you well.
Take care, friend.
Lucie
Posted by antigua3 on March 28, 2009, at 12:10:20
In reply to Re: 'Brief Therapy' » antigua3, posted by lucie lu on March 12, 2009, at 12:20:29
I've been trying to respond to this post since you wrote it. I even wrote out a really long reply and then decided not to send it. I wasn't satsified with what I had to say, but couldn't quite pinpoint what the problem was.
So I'm going to try now. While I can't reply to everything, because it's painful for me, I'll just try a little bit.
First, you never speak out of line to me. I always value what you have to say. You may show me something painful to consider, but that's part of getting better. My point being that the pain doesn't have to be determinant of the whole, as it seems to be w/my pdoc.
You nailed my relationship w/my father perfectly, and how my relationship w/my pdoc mirrors it. That is what I have been trying to heal, but I don't think it's ever going to work.
I see it as a constant battle and while I now freely admit that the battles may not be necessary (because I can't win or winning is futile because it doesn't change how I feel), I still can't help but feel helpless and hopeless because I'm being retraumatized in this relationship. It's not what I uncover that is retraumatizing me (and I've uncovered a lot), it's the relationship itself.
It comes down to caring, trust and safety. If I feel cared for, I can trust and then feel safe. This cycle will never be completed with him, and my T is quick to point out that these aren't "inappropriate needs" to either have or be met in therapy. W/him, I feel "too" needy and embarrassed by this, which is wrong. He sees the underlying wound; the little girl is there but he doesn not lend her a helping hand. He'd rather deal with the adult.
It has gotten much more complex since I wrote the original post here. While I feel less like it would be a failure on my part to walk away now, I stil wonder if I'm just trying to run, as I've always done. But if it's abusive, as it feels like it is to me, than I need to get out. I don't think it matters anymore if it's true or not anymore, it's just the way I feel.
I need to find a way to extricate myself in the safest way possible and I'm working on it. I have help--my T, of course, but I let myself get in pretty deep and I have to leave feeling more "right" about myself if that makes any sense. This doesn't mean getting anything from him to make me "right"; It means getting my head on straight so I don't suffer like I have in the past when a male authority relationship has failed. I won't do that again.
Thank you again for your thoughtful words,
antigua
This is the end of the thread.
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