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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by chumbawumba on May 11, 2009, at 1:13:00
So I read the boards here and everyone seems to be locked in mortal combat with their dis-ease, mostly depression. As if it's something to be beaten, defeated, killed like a flu virus.
For some reason it reminds me of the saying about war, "There are no winners in war, only losers"
For myself I think I've always hoped maybe there is some way back to a happier time before this ever happened to me.
If anyone has found the pill that does that, let me know what it is,'cause I thought I'd tried them all.
So my question is this: Has anyone tried a softer approach. Has anyone here found the question that depression is asking you?
For myself I suppose, the question that depression asks of me is "Will you open your heart to having compassion for yourself?"
or "Can you forgive your parents?"
or
"What meaning can you make out of all this suffering?"
As for the answers, at least for me. Well that's a work in progress.
Posted by Sigismund on May 11, 2009, at 2:11:14
In reply to Depression as a gift, posted by chumbawumba on May 11, 2009, at 1:13:00
This is relevant to your excellent post....
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090421/msgs/894089.html
Posted by obsidian on May 11, 2009, at 10:31:33
In reply to Depression as a gift, posted by chumbawumba on May 11, 2009, at 1:13:00
I have to think about this one. Good luck with the answers.
-sid
Posted by Phillipa on May 11, 2009, at 13:00:23
In reply to Re: Depression as a gift » chumbawumba, posted by obsidian on May 11, 2009, at 10:31:33
Is it life? Phillipa
Posted by raisinb on May 11, 2009, at 18:29:14
In reply to Depression as a gift, posted by chumbawumba on May 11, 2009, at 1:13:00
Yes, I believe that my most serious depression pushed me to make changes that I wouldn't have made otherwise. Deep, internal, permanent ones.
It would be nice, however, not to have to reach the brink of suicide before I make needed changes. I'm still working on that one. Sometimes I think people in general have to be forced to change (maybe just me).
Posted by chumbawumba on May 11, 2009, at 22:04:08
In reply to Re: Depression as a gift » chumbawumba, posted by raisinb on May 11, 2009, at 18:29:14
> Yes, I believe that my most serious depression pushed me to make changes that I wouldn't have made otherwise. Deep, internal, permanent ones.
>
> It would be nice, however, not to have to reach the brink of suicide before I make needed changes. I'm still working on that one. Sometimes I think people in general have to be forced to change (maybe just me).I had to smile, I'm that way too. I think it's stubborness on my part. My ego just can't let go of the need to control.
Posted by Tabitha on May 12, 2009, at 22:41:30
In reply to Re: Depression as a gift, posted by chumbawumba on May 11, 2009, at 22:04:08
It's a cool idea, but I can't think of it as a gift. Yes, maybe I can make the best of it, as with any form of suffering, it can awaken compassion. I think it humbled me, which is good. It showed me I'm not in perfect control of this brain or this body. I'll get that lesson as I age for sure, but depression brought it home sooner. It showed me "I am not my thoughts or my mood", because I had to learn to separate my Self from my depressed thoughts and mood.
Hmm, so I guess there are some gifts. But that doesn't make it a gift. It's a brain disorder.
Interesting question: "what does depression ask of me"? I have no answer right now.
Posted by Sigismund on May 13, 2009, at 3:17:05
In reply to Re: Depression as a gift, posted by Tabitha on May 12, 2009, at 22:41:30
>I'll get that lesson as I age for sure, but depression brought it home sooner.
Don't worry, cancer will be a piece of cake by comparison.
Posted by Tabitha on May 14, 2009, at 1:06:07
In reply to Re: Depression as a gift » Tabitha, posted by Sigismund on May 13, 2009, at 3:17:05
Posted by B2chica on May 15, 2009, at 12:11:52
In reply to Re: Depression as a gift » Tabitha, posted by Sigismund on May 13, 2009, at 3:17:05
i had to smile at this. i actually often think this. as i have a high history of cancer in my family i've always thought i'd get it. before 2003 it would scare me.
now it doesn't a bit.
i've been close enough to death enough times via my depression, that i'm comfortable with it.
and i'm also Very familiar with a fight against myself. (warring with my mind during depression)
so i now see cancer as a fight FOR myself and AGAINST 'IT' and feel MORE than strong enough to 'take it on'.
and i dont even worry about getting it anymore.> Don't worry, cancer will be a piece of cake by comparison.
Posted by Sigismund on May 15, 2009, at 16:51:22
In reply to Re: Depression as a gift » Sigismund, posted by B2chica on May 15, 2009, at 12:11:52
That's a quote from Phillip Toynbee, (Arnold's son), who apparently had both. With my mother the cancer was (of course) awful, wouldn't wish it on a dog and would be put down if it had it, but the depression was something else. Half of us will get it anyway so I hope they improve their palliative care. I heard about this woman who was depressed but improved when she found out she had leukemia. A good excuse, a set limit on time and some morphine may be what you need to enjoy life :)
Posted by Phillipa on May 15, 2009, at 19:58:56
In reply to Re: Depression as a gift » B2chica, posted by Sigismund on May 15, 2009, at 16:51:22
Sigi I'm sincerely sorry about your Mom. It seems to still have a great impact on you. How long ago was it? Love PJ
Posted by Sigismund on May 15, 2009, at 21:36:52
In reply to Re: Depression as a gift » Sigismund, posted by Phillipa on May 15, 2009, at 19:58:56
The depression came to a head almost 10 years ago and she died of cancer 8 ago.
The depression was like nothing I'd ever seen. It was (how can I put this?) Biblical in its horror. All the meaning of life stuff thrown in. But what it did do (albeit at way too much cost) was to bring my mother to some sort of peace and at least give us time and space together in the last 2 years of her life, during which I had a lot of fun with her. It was like something out of hell that turned into something heavenly. After that the cancer was just management of symptoms and the whole grind of dying.
Posted by Sigismund on May 15, 2009, at 21:43:10
In reply to Re: Depression as a gift » Phillipa, posted by Sigismund on May 15, 2009, at 21:36:52
After a bone marrow biopsy that had me worried for her, we walked to the lift.
I asked if she was in any pain,
she said no,
I said it must be the pethidine, it's just like heroin,
and she said with some conviction
no wonder they like it.That was a big change. An impossibly big change.
Posted by Phillipa on May 16, 2009, at 20:13:08
In reply to Re: Depression as a gift » Phillipa, posted by Sigismund on May 15, 2009, at 21:36:52
Ah Sigi you must have been extremely close to your Mother. And know she was ever so grateful to you for being there for her. Love PJ
This is the end of the thread.
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