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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by obsidian on May 27, 2009, at 22:27:11
or maybe I just live in my head, it's a very active place it seems.
but geez my therapist must be sick of me no?
have I focused too long on my pathology to the exclusion of what is "good" and healthy?
A friend of mine sort of accused me of not really "wanting" to get better because my immediate reaction to disappointment with my T has been to assume he hates me, doesn't care about me, etc. Well it's not a response I planned out, and she sort of had me feeling like she thought I orchestrated the thought.
I do appreciate things and people in my life, but I am truly so prone to be so very anxious, irritable, depressed.
I do try to appreciate things from other people's perspectives, in fact I spend an inordinate amount of time doing that..it's exhausting really. I wish I could just "be".
there is no point to this post, btw
Posted by Dinah on May 28, 2009, at 9:19:06
In reply to I think I'm pretty self absorbed...., posted by obsidian on May 27, 2009, at 22:27:11
I'm not sure where your friend concluded that you didn't want to get better from that.
I think everyone is relatively self absorbed. Even those who are also other-focused. And if you have a temperament where the world's intrusion can be painful and confusing, it's natural to not be all that other-focused in some situations.
If I'm understanding you, you are conscientious about trying to see things from other people's point of view. That doesn't sound like someone too self absorbed to me.
Some people understand, and others don't. Your therapist probably does, and likely isn't sick of you at all. I don't think he hates you, but I don't think you orchestrate the thought either. Maybe this friend just isn't someone who is capable of understanding, and you should limit your discussions with her to match her strengths and weaknesses. There's nothing wrong with that either. She has a different nature, a different way of viewing the world. That can be a great thing in a friend, as long as you take it into account when deciding what to confide.
Posted by Phillipa on May 28, 2009, at 12:32:42
In reply to I think I'm pretty self absorbed...., posted by obsidian on May 27, 2009, at 22:27:11
Being in the moment isn't that a goal of most? That to me means total happiness. I haven't achieved that except when my Son was a baby. Haven't thought of that in years. Love to you. Phillipa
Posted by obsidian on May 28, 2009, at 23:04:18
In reply to Re: I think I'm pretty self absorbed.... » obsidian, posted by Dinah on May 28, 2009, at 9:19:06
> I'm not sure where your friend concluded that you didn't want to get better from that.
I'm not sure really what she meant by it, but I get the feeling that she is frustrated by my fears of rejection/abandonment...I don't know that she understands how powerful they can be. In a way, I hope that's the case, it'd be better for her. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
> I think everyone is relatively self absorbed. Even those who are also other-focused. And if you have a temperament where the world's intrusion can be painful and confusing, it's natural to not be all that other-focused in some situations.I need the world in small and measured doses.
> If I'm understanding you, you are conscientious about trying to see things from other people's point of view. That doesn't sound like someone too self absorbed to me.yes, it's exhausting actually.
>
> Some people understand, and others don't. Your therapist probably does, and likely isn't sick of you at all. I don't think he hates you, but I don't think you orchestrate the thought either. Maybe this friend just isn't someone who is capable of understanding, and you should limit your discussions with her to match her strengths and weaknesses. There's nothing wrong with that either. She has a different nature, a different way of viewing the world. That can be a great thing in a friend, as long as you take it into account when deciding what to confide.She's got a lot of great qualities actually. I think she might be puzzled by these aspects of myself.
Today I feel like my T cares about me quite a lot actually (can we get a halleluia ;-). You know, generally when I am physically there at therapy I don't have these fears, it's when I'm not actually there that they are the worst, but then there are the times when I keep the fears to myself for a while and they build up.
Maybe I'm easily hurt, maybe it's some type of PTSD.Thanks Dinah :-) I hope things are ok with you.
-sid
Posted by FindingMyDesire on June 1, 2009, at 8:38:43
In reply to I think I'm pretty self absorbed...., posted by obsidian on May 27, 2009, at 22:27:11
obsidian,
Glad you are feeling that she cares right now.You know, I have really tried to stop myself from talking to my friends - even the very best of them - about my process in therapy. Even my friend who is in therapy and is married to a therapist can't get my experience or process. She thinks she does, but invariably I get hurt by something.
I think I'm starting to accept that the back-and-forth from "she loves me", "she loves me not" (haha) is just part of this "magical" process called therapy. And each of our processes are unique. I think this board is the best place to go to find others who "understand" but a big part of that I think is because we get that we can't totally get someone else's therapy experience. We get it enough to witness the scaffolding. We get it enough to support each other on the down swings without any judgment (hopefully). And we get it enough to encourage the growth, but the process is just a long, long process. People outside that special room won't totally get it, in my opinion. As much as I want to be sharing with my friends about it, I have had to back off. And for me, that has been good.
This totally turned into a ramble! (And a Babble love-fest).
Anyway, it's good to hear about your process - the hard and the good. It just "is." I wish for you more and more of the feeling of just "being."
FindingMyDesire
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