Shown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rskontos on July 26, 2009, at 13:48:29
maybe I am just so messed up on the inside but I don't let it show like others. I was amazed at the way some people acted at this concert. I thought to myself wow, how do they do that. Just let it all hang out for all to see.
I guess I realized maybe more people are messed up too, they just are unaware.
I don't know. But it was probably the first time I felt that comfortable in a crowd. I did dissociate for a brief spell but that was anticipated by myself. I knew I would so I just went with it and finally started to enjoy myself.
It was a weird experience but I see sometimes I am making some progress. At least I knew I was messed up but can hide it well. So many out there just don't see it.
So if you don't see it, are you not really messed up. ok I have confused myself.
rsk
I guess the problem with myself as I see it I can't handle stress like a pro anymore. I start to fall apart unless I dissociate. It is in these times I feel fragile. I hate fragile.
Posted by Dinah on July 26, 2009, at 14:16:24
In reply to Went to a concert and found out that..., posted by rskontos on July 26, 2009, at 13:48:29
I understand.
I don't know that I ever could handle stress like a pro, but I hate feeling so fragile over it. I don't know what I'd do without dissociation.
I think it's great that you were able to enjoy yourself! Do you see that as major progress?
Posted by rskontos on July 28, 2009, at 11:19:58
In reply to Re: Went to a concert and found out that... » rskontos, posted by Dinah on July 26, 2009, at 14:16:24
Yes I do and so does my p-doc/therapist. He though keeps saying don't you see your progress and most often I don't because I feel so fragile at times.
I explained to him that I don't hold onto the strong feelings I feel with him in sessions from day to day. On so many days I just feel fragile especially those days where stress rears its ugly head and I just want to hide in a hole in the ground until it goes away.
yeah, I know what you mean about dissociation, I am not sure I want to really integrate to the point where I don't dissociate at all. It is a good source of comfort at times and then at times it isn't so great.
thanks for your response Dinah it means alot.
rsk
Posted by Dinah on July 28, 2009, at 13:15:39
In reply to Re: Went to a concert and found out that... » Dinah, posted by rskontos on July 28, 2009, at 11:19:58
I consider the key to be management. I don't want to stop dissociating, but I am happy that I have greater control over the process now.
There are way worse things in the world, including the things that would happen if I wasn't able to dissociate.
Posted by rskontos on July 29, 2009, at 14:11:35
In reply to Re: Went to a concert and found out that... » rskontos, posted by Dinah on July 28, 2009, at 13:15:39
>>There are way worse things in the world, including the things that would happen if I wasn't able to dissociate.>>>
So true dinah so true.
Management is a good way to put it. Thanks for this insight.
rsk
This is the end of the thread.
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