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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by gibbons482 on August 7, 2009, at 21:34:11
Has your therapist ever said or indirectly implied they couldn't help you until your meds were straight?
Mine said my first priority right now was getting stable on meds and I get the feeling she's tired of covering the same ground in our sessions. I don't know how I feel about this really. I guess I'm a little hurt that I feel she's tired of listening to me go over the same things or whatever mood episode I happen to be in. Maybe that's just me assuming I know her point of view.
Posted by Phillipa on August 7, 2009, at 23:49:03
In reply to Therapist said she can't help me now...., posted by gibbons482 on August 7, 2009, at 21:34:11
I'd be extremely upset as getting meds correct can take a long time and lots of trials. What does she or he feel they can't help you with? Listening is helping isn't it? Love Phillipa
Posted by alexandra_k on August 8, 2009, at 8:23:10
In reply to Therapist said she can't help me now...., posted by gibbons482 on August 7, 2009, at 21:34:11
yeah. my experience is that if they are focused on changing me or fixing me then they will feel disillusioned and inpotent soon enough. sometimes acceptance is change. but sometimes... they lack the will or ability to understand methinks. i'm never quite sure what is to be done when that arises. personally... thats typically when i start trying to find a new t...
Posted by emilyp on August 8, 2009, at 14:01:33
In reply to Therapist said she can't help me now...., posted by gibbons482 on August 7, 2009, at 21:34:11
It could be that she is quite concerned about your health and that she realizes if your mood is not somewhat stable no matter what she does, it won't help. I think that is fair - it does not do you any good to spin your wheels. And as a professional who has an obligation to help patients, she may honestly feel that getting you on the right medication is what, in the longer run, will allow you to make progress and ultimately get better. I think you need to give her some benefit of the doubt and assume she is doing this for your well-being, not because she is tired of listening to you.
As a comparison, my doctor won't treat individuals for depression or other illnesses if he believes the person is dealing with a drug/alcohol problem. He always believes getting the substance abuse under control is critical; without doing so, treating someone for a mood problem is very difficult
Posted by Dinah on August 8, 2009, at 23:48:22
In reply to Therapist said she can't help me now...., posted by gibbons482 on August 7, 2009, at 21:34:11
I think there are a lot of ways to interpret that, even if she did imply it. It might just mean that she doesn't think she can be of any real assistance to you unless you are stable enough to tolerate the stress of therapy.
I think it's less likely that it's a statement about her feelings about you in therapy than it is about her concerns for your wellbeing and ability to benefit from therapy.
Posted by peddidle on August 9, 2009, at 14:04:16
In reply to Therapist said she can't help me now...., posted by gibbons482 on August 7, 2009, at 21:34:11
I agree with what everyone else has said, and I also have a few things to add. My T has said similar things to me at various times (most recently, when I asked to keep seeing her even though I finished school), though not exactly in those words. She has said that she didn't think she was helping me, so it would be remiss of her not to suggest other options (i.e. IOP, DBT), etc. It hurts to hear that, but at the same time, it's reassuring to hear that she honestly is just thinking about what is best for me. She even reiterated that fact in the message she wrote in a book she gave me. So, while I'm really upset about it, I TRY to keep remembering that she's doing it because she truly cares (I emphasize "try" because I still haven't accepted it yet).
Maybe your T could have chosen her words differently, but like the others have said, I think she is just looking out for your well-being. You say that you think maybe she's tired of listening to you go over the same things in your sessions, but maybe you're just picking up on her frustration with herself over your treatment.
That said, I don't think there is anything wrong with asking what her reasoning is behind those statements. Did she say that she wouldn't see you until/unless you were stable on meds, or was she just saying that you really need to get your meds figured out right now in addition to therapy? Maybe it would help to understand her thoughts behind those statements.
This is the end of the thread.
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