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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by blahblahblah on February 21, 2010, at 1:32:25
Hey,
My transference is getting so bad. I ache for my T constantly. Whenever I drink now I message her. It hurts so much, not just emotionally but physically. I feel like I am dying and she is the only person who can make it better. Any suggestions on how I can ease this.
Posted by Dinah on February 21, 2010, at 8:12:54
In reply to struggling with T, posted by blahblahblah on February 21, 2010, at 1:32:25
How does she feel about the messaging when you drink? I think it's something that would concern my therapist.
I'm trying to remember. Is the acceptance that feelings are just feelings part of mindfulness? It *feels* as if you are dying and she's the only one who can make it better. But the feeling is a feeling, not a fact. The only way I know to feel better at all is to separate myself from the feelings. To observe them and recognize them and honor them, but to recognize that feeling something doesn't make it so. To say to myself "I am having the feeling that I am dying" instead of saying to myself "I am dying"
I tend to believe myself that my therapist can make it all better. And every time I am disappointed. He can't make it all better. There are times he can help in certain ways. And there are times he can't. In the end, we all have to help ourselves. Our therapists can help us help ourselves. They can join us in our pain and our struggles so that it isn't so lonely or helpless. But they can't make it all better.
Is the drinking interfering with your life? Is it something you need outside help with, apart from your therapist?
Does your therapist have the skills necessary to help you move past the helplessness of your feelings for her? Not all therapists do, and the result is usually a lot of pain for a client.
Posted by rnny on February 21, 2010, at 18:06:37
In reply to Re: struggling with T » blahblahblah, posted by Dinah on February 21, 2010, at 8:12:54
I have suffered great loneliness in life and it has been one of my biggest struggles. Therapists have said I need to make more friends and stuff but that is something I find hard to do or I would. Can you to go AA meetings or join some online?
Posted by mystickangaroo on March 2, 2010, at 6:52:28
In reply to struggling with T, posted by blahblahblah on February 21, 2010, at 1:32:25
Hey Blah
How you going? This therapy stuff is damn hard yakka if you ask me. Keep on keeping on.
This is the end of the thread.
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