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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Lam22 on September 25, 2011, at 15:56:19
"Ohh no don't talk about what you've been through no no lets talk about how you can become an actor, pretending everythings alright. lets talk about how you can nourish your false self and ultimately live a fake life.
CBT -> way to go to kill the tiny rest of your true self off in an desperate attempt to live up to your parents expectations in order to finally get their "love".
We are not on this world to function, we are here to LIVE
Just my two cents
Posted by sleepygirl2 on September 25, 2011, at 17:50:19
In reply to A rant on therapists and cbt, posted by Lam22 on September 25, 2011, at 15:56:19
Have you been doing CBT?
I have no experience with it, but I know some of the basics.
I'm curious about your experience, care to share?
Posted by jane d on September 25, 2011, at 18:33:01
In reply to A rant on therapists and cbt, posted by Lam22 on September 25, 2011, at 15:56:19
> "Ohh no don't talk about what you've been through no no lets talk about how you can become an actor, pretending everythings alright. lets talk about how you can nourish your false self and ultimately live a fake life.
>
> CBT -> way to go to kill the tiny rest of your true self off in an desperate attempt to live up to your parents expectations in order to finally get their "love".
>
> We are not on this world to function, we are here to LIVE
>
> Just my two cents
Every extra day you spend not functioning reduces your chances of being able to either function or live in the future.Just my 2 cents.
Posted by Lam22 on September 26, 2011, at 1:31:44
In reply to Re: A rant on therapists and cbt » Lam22, posted by sleepygirl2 on September 25, 2011, at 17:50:19
> Have you been doing CBT?
>
> I have no experience with it, but I know some of the basics.
> I'm curious about your experience, care to share?
>Yes, i do.. my experience is that it helps.. it helped me to get my degree from school and get rid of this awful relationship BUT it didn't help me at all to know what i want to do with my life.. i would have gone do some crap and failed anyway because what i would have done doesn't fit at all. whats the point of functioning and living a live that isn't even YOU?
Besides the benefits crashed down rather quickly, because i was just acting. I wasn't really better inside in any way.. just on the surface. I was just as disturbed as before. I think living a fake live is far more of a tragedy than not being able to "function".
So what am i supposed to do? I was abused in various ways pretty much all my life and I WANT TO TALK WITH SOMEBODY about it.
I tell a therapist about this and he doesn't even CARE and heads right to the next question. Im not saying that CBT doesn't have its place but CBT is everywhere and talking about the things that really hurt and feeling the emotions, i.e. getting REALLY better, that seems impossible to find.Its not really that i dislike CBT therapists, but i want to find someone who doesn't just tell me how to act, but someone who can listen.
Yes I'm not functioning in the way that all these alienating feelings arise when i have to work, especially under supervision. Social anxiety rises up, its very energy draining for me.
Jane what really gets me off is this massive denial of child abuse, dysfunctional family backgrounds and survivors of this crap. I have been searching the internet for a therapist or therapy form to address this, but all i see is "not reawaken the trauma" blablabla. There is a reason why i struggle to stay on my feet while at work. And, to my mind, as long as this isn't addressed there will not be sustained recovery. Id rather sink with the truth than live a lie.
I don't see any of the people that were in the clinic (cbt advocates) accomplish any real progress, they go into this crap place again, again and again and are not really helped there.
What in the world is the point of functioning.. "living" despite the fact that you're totally disturbed. Marry, have children and then let them eat the pent up rage.. and then again nobody cares, they need to function to repeat the cycle again and again. What kind of world is this? Is this really worth it?
Im very frustrated about all this and i feel like nobody cares and nobody wants to hear it..
Ps. I didn't really feel like this in the states, i think the us has made much more progress in terms of awareness of child abuse and its detrimental effects.
Posted by Lam22 on September 26, 2011, at 2:48:11
In reply to Re: A rant on therapists and cbt, posted by Lam22 on September 26, 2011, at 1:31:44
Damn it i think I'm going back to the guy i did the behavioral therapy with.. At least i like and trust him.
Although his training was exclusively focused on behavioral therapy i think he's sort of empathetic and can still hear me out. Also it would be interesting to see him again and tell him what happened, what i found out about myself etc.
He might have some additional insights, i think he remembers the issues we dealed with back then.I desperately need someone to talk to... Shut life can be uncomfortable :(
Id love to have a therapist who draws from both behavioral and psychodynamic interventions, had one of these in the states, but idk maybe the guy i worked with back then is not too opposed to that although his training was different.
Posted by Lam22 on September 26, 2011, at 2:56:36
In reply to Re: A rant on therapists and cbt » Lam22, posted by sleepygirl2 on September 25, 2011, at 17:50:19
Posted by emmanuel98 on September 26, 2011, at 21:03:42
In reply to Re: A rant on therapists and cbt, posted by Lam22 on September 26, 2011, at 1:31:44
There are lots of dynamic psychotherapists who will work to process and heal from trauma. Also DBT therapists will do this work, while working also on coping skills and CBT skills.
Posted by sleepygirl2 on September 27, 2011, at 11:57:06
In reply to @sleepygirl: what therapy did you do/are you doin? (nm), posted by Lam22 on September 26, 2011, at 2:56:36
Psychodynamic, self care stuff ongoing, relationship stuff, lots of other stuff.
That's a pretty vague description, but it's covered a lot.
Posted by Daisym on September 27, 2011, at 12:06:22
In reply to Re: A rant on therapists and cbt, posted by Lam22 on September 26, 2011, at 2:48:11
Look for a therapist who specializes in adult attachment disorders. Most of the time they are depth therapists and do explore your experiences and how they effect who you are and who you want to be. The work is long, long, long and painful. But there are caring therapists who work this way.
Posted by Dinah on September 27, 2011, at 14:44:01
In reply to A rant on therapists and cbt, posted by Lam22 on September 25, 2011, at 15:56:19
I think that might also be a sign of poorly done CBT. Or very rigid CBT. Or perhaps a marriage of CBT and a rigid therapist.
You don't need to accept therapy that isn't helpful. Daisy's suggestion is a good one.
Posted by sleepygirl2 on September 27, 2011, at 18:31:54
In reply to @sleepygirl: what therapy did you do/are you doin? (nm), posted by Lam22 on September 26, 2011, at 2:56:36
You know, it's funny, I probably would not have functioned so well if not for my ability to think, but think about every little interaction and reaction on my part. Logical thinking...
Not that I claim to be all that logical, but it has at times compensated for my overemotional/illogical/traumatized/clueless self.
and then there was just plain ole necessity, gotta get a job, deal with others, pay the bills, etc.
I suppose everyone has to find a way, but not always a small feat.
I guess this might be where the idea of monitoring my cognition and correcting it would start to annoy me. I already do that, though I'm sure I don't do it the "right" way.I hope you find someone you can work well with. I hope you can say what you need to.
This is the end of the thread.
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