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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kilo8 on June 23, 2015, at 21:11:04
Hello,
I am such a mess. I really don't see how this can possibly end well. I mean I have been having GAD and OCD since being a child. I am also vulnerable to depression. I was already depressed when my life was still ok and when I felt like I have a future.
But now I'm 34yo and I am in bad health and know that I very likely have a rare genetic disorder which can be dangerous and I have many other health problems which nobody can help me with and I also have no job and no education and depend on my parents and simply feel terrible.
I mean I have SO many things which all drag me down. I feel very bad about myself.I feel like I ruined my life and reached nothing. I also think I have ADD.
I feel like a total failure. Every day is the same for me. I do nothing productive at all. I want to be different but I simply cannot be different. I hate the way I am.
I am so crippled by anxieties. I worry about being alone one day what do I do without my parents? I just found out one of my doctors died. This totally hit me and caused me to have nightmares. It triggered these thoughts which I already have about being alone or losing someone. I have a huge fear of loss.
I really fear that one day I might simply lose my mind.
I don't know what to do. I tried psychotherapy and only made bad experiences. Psychologists either didn't seem to care at all or they didn't really say anything or the things they said were totally unhelpful.
I needed comfort but I have no comfort. I also have no friends at all! I am so damn lonely.
I cannot talk to my parents cause they have enough problems on their own I cannot tell them how bad I am doing cause this would break their heart.
I feel totally alone with all my worries and problems.And also none of the drugs I tried helped at all. In fact my fears and my OCD only seem to get worse! Nothing seems to help. One psychologist also told me that drugs cannot help me cause I'm too messed up and because this has been going on for too long. :(
Now I also think what if no drug can help me simply because my overall situation is simply way too bad?
I think in my case it's a mixture of real neurologically based problems (ADD,OCD,GAD) with external factors. I really don't know what to do now. I have a pdoc but he is only good for prescribing drugs he doesn't know anything about my situation and also doesn't ask.
I am scared of trying psychotherapy again cause of my bad experiences. PT only made me feel worse cause when I talk about my situation then it causes all these negative emotions to come up and this is already dangerous and when the therapist then doesn't seem to care or simply says nothing then this is absolutely useless. I also fear becoming attached to a therapist or emotionalle dependent on him in case he should offer me comfort which I cannot get from any other person. I have nobody to offer comfort to me.
I am currently on 10mg vortioxetine. Have been on it since 3 weeks. Does NOTHING!Before I tried:
lexapro 20mg 3 months, wellbutrin 300mg, remeron 30mg, tianeptine, anafranil 75mg too many side effects, ritalin, memantine
Posted by kilo8 on June 23, 2015, at 21:15:20
In reply to I feel so hopeless, posted by kilo8 on June 23, 2015, at 21:11:04
Also tried cymbalta 120mg.
My fear is simply that my issues are way too deep and that I'm basically a psychological wreck and that these things simply cannot be helped by any drug. Like I said even as a child I had anxieties. I feel like I am simply unable to survive in this world. It's absolutely unrealistic to think that I go to a psychologist or that I take a drug and then I become a whole new person. But I have being the way I am. I am so pessimistic and have no trust and confidence.
I don't know what went wrong with me but there are major things wrong with me.
Posted by SLS on June 24, 2015, at 8:49:31
In reply to Re: I feel so hopeless, posted by kilo8 on June 23, 2015, at 21:15:20
Hi.
I have no easy answers for you. I just wanted you to know that I read your post.
I understand hopeless.
I think you are headed in the right direction.
- Scott
Posted by sassyfrancesca on July 2, 2015, at 14:10:29
In reply to Re: I feel so hopeless » kilo8, posted by SLS on June 24, 2015, at 8:49:31
I am sorry you feel so hopeless. I would try another therapist....even tho the others didn't work out. Interview 2-3 or more over the phone to find out if you might be a "fit."
What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? I am 68 and used my (really ugly) life story to win a scholarship and am a Sophomore.
You may FEEL hopeless, but you are not.
Posted by baseball55 on July 2, 2015, at 19:54:36
In reply to I feel so hopeless, posted by kilo8 on June 23, 2015, at 21:11:04
If you can find a therapist who makes you feel cared for and comforted, you will feel dependent on and vulnerable to them. Maybe painfully so. But this can be worked through. It takes time, but a skilled therapist will help you through it and to learn how to translate that feeling of being cared for into self-care.
Posted by phidippus on July 28, 2015, at 16:02:50
In reply to I feel so hopeless, posted by kilo8 on June 23, 2015, at 21:11:04
>I also think I have ADD?
Why do you think that?
>I am currently on 10mg vortioxetine. Have been on it since 3 weeks. Does NOTHING!
Your dose is too low. I take 40 mg for OCD.
>I have nobody to offer comfort to me.
Do you accept comfort?
Eric
Posted by kilo8 on August 7, 2015, at 21:03:54
In reply to Re: I feel so hopeless » kilo8, posted by phidippus on July 28, 2015, at 16:02:50
Hello,
I have taken 20mg vortioxetine for a few weeks doesn't really do much for me. I am still totally depressed cause of my situation. I don't know if any drug can help me or if being depressed is simply "normal" in my situation.
I don't think I will try another therapist. I have been disappointed too often. Talking to a stranger doesn't help me. And then there is also the risk of becoming dependent on a therapist for comfort. But the therapists I tried didn't even offer comfort I felt like they don't care at all.
I have been tested for ADHD 2 times and both docs think I have it. I also think I have it. But I don't know if stimulants help me. Ritalin doesn't help and I'm not sure if dexamphetamine helps. Even if it helps then it doesn't erase all symptoms.
Posted by baseball55 on August 10, 2015, at 19:04:03
In reply to Re: I feel so hopeless, posted by kilo8 on August 7, 2015, at 21:03:54
I am very sorry you are in such distress. However, if you reject therapy and have little hope for meds, it's not clear what advice to offer? Still, you are welcome to write and receive what support we can give on a forum like this.
Have you tried other ways to deal with emotional distress - exercise, meditation, yoga, group therapy, volunteering? Would you consider these?
> Hello,
>
> I have taken 20mg vortioxetine for a few weeks doesn't really do much for me. I am still totally depressed cause of my situation. I don't know if any drug can help me or if being depressed is simply "normal" in my situation.
>
> I don't think I will try another therapist. I have been disappointed too often. Talking to a stranger doesn't help me. And then there is also the risk of becoming dependent on a therapist for comfort. But the therapists I tried didn't even offer comfort I felt like they don't care at all.
>
> I have been tested for ADHD 2 times and both docs think I have it. I also think I have it. But I don't know if stimulants help me. Ritalin doesn't help and I'm not sure if dexamphetamine helps. Even if it helps then it doesn't erase all symptoms.
>
>
>
Posted by phidippus on August 11, 2015, at 17:28:17
In reply to Re: I feel so hopeless, posted by kilo8 on August 7, 2015, at 21:03:54
Have you tried adding an antipsychotic to the Brintellix? Something like Abilify? The reason I suggest it is because you are both depressed about and obsessing on your illness. This is probably causing a lot of anxiety which is probably causing more depression. The combination of Brintellix and Abilify might reduce anxiety and help your mood.
How do you react when you're on Ritalin?
Eric
Posted by Lamdage22 on September 8, 2015, at 13:29:53
In reply to Re: I feel so hopeless » kilo8, posted by phidippus on August 11, 2015, at 17:28:17
i am not really part of this forum anymore since i became suspicious of medication but i second what baseball said.
You can also babblemail.
I will not tell you "take this come back in four weeks".
Posted by Lamdage22 on September 8, 2015, at 14:06:27
In reply to Re: I feel so hopeless, posted by Lamdage22 on September 8, 2015, at 13:29:53
Ok, i cant speak on behalf of this forum but my offer stands.
You need some support. Big time.
Posted by phidippus on September 8, 2015, at 15:53:08
In reply to I feel so hopeless, posted by kilo8 on June 23, 2015, at 21:11:04
I understand you are in distress, but I believe a lot of your symptoms, mental and physical may be somatic and you really need to find a therapist who will work through these issues that distress you. If you need to talk, feel free to Babblemail me.
Eric
Posted by Lamdage22 on September 9, 2015, at 12:47:05
In reply to I feel so hopeless, posted by kilo8 on June 23, 2015, at 21:11:04
do you have any friends, maybe from highschool you can reach out to?
Most people care
This is the end of the thread.
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