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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by bosgirl on August 3, 2007, at 0:02:49
I am struggling in the romance department. I know that I have some mental hurdles that I need to jump over before I will be in a lasting relationship.
I'm very scared of true intimacy (physical + emotional) with a man. I grew up without a father and did not have any men in my life with which I had a close or positive relationship. So although I'm attracted to men I have a host of mixed feelings about them as well. For instance, if a guy is really nice and I feel an emotional connection to him it's hard for me to feel a physical connection and vice versa. I keep getting dumped. The guys usually say that I'm really nice but that they aren't ready for a serious relationship--but I always blame myself for my (real or perceived) shortcomings.
This is made worse because I have VERY little going on in my life right now. Due to a mild depression, I am slightly antisocial and don't have a lot of friends or hobbies. This leave me with a lot of time on my hands with which to obsess over my latest romantic failure.
Anyway, I'm not sure what my question is exactly. I guess I'm just frustrated because I don't know how I'll ever overcome these issues besides therapy (which I'm in). I feel like I missed out on a model for having positive relationships with men that having a close relationship with a father or brother might provide. I feel like the only person who is so deeply alone and who can't find someone who wants to love me. All of these worries make me feel very self absorbed, down on myself and alone.
I am so lost right now!
Posted by Squiggles on August 3, 2007, at 8:54:58
In reply to Fear of intimacy, posted by bosgirl on August 3, 2007, at 0:02:49
.....All of these worries make me feel very self absorbed, down on myself and alone.
>
> I am so lost right now!
Well, if it's any help, from someone who has been through such phases, you might try getting involved in a university program, or community service work, or just a hobby you really like. And getting together with friends and relatives who are not necessarily potential romantic partners. That might take your mind off self rumination and get busy with projects instead.
Don't look for happiness, life will provide you with it when you least expect it.Squiggles
Posted by Squiggles on August 6, 2007, at 22:19:35
In reply to Re: Fear of intimacy » bosgirl, posted by Squiggles on August 3, 2007, at 8:54:58
Happiest birthday of my life. How things change--
things are back to normal. It seems that i took the wrong track of thinking and just got probability evidence for that. But i was wrong. Funny, how that happens. It has been a trend throughout my life. Cognitive or emotional? Maybe politics and war strategems work that way too.I am very happy. Serendipity!
Squiggles
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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