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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by shadowmon on March 27, 2008, at 1:23:14
Does anyone else have this problem? You meet someone you like, and when you are having feelings for them, the anxiety and depression gets triggered, thus ruining the relationship.
I have gone through this so many times that I can't deal with it anymore. I see a Psych dr and have been for years. I'm diagnosed with GAD and Depression. Met a goy I could have a potential relationship with. He's understanding and kind, having gone through depression himself. He's very supportive.
In the last few weeks or so, my anxiety is out of control. Do I like him, do I like him as a friend? Do I not like him? Why am I questioning if I like him, because if I did, I wouldnt be questioning that, will I like him once I get better? and so on and so forth. It's obvious it has triggered my GAD and I can't tell which way is up. I can feel the depression creeping in as well.
So Pdoc suggests I change from what I am on (paxil cr 75 mg) to Effexor (who knows what dose) and that I have to whittle down to avoid serotonin syndrome.
I should be enjoying a potential new relationship, but instead I am ruining it for myself and possibly for him. I don't want to "let him get away, as he is one of the few guys I have met that have understood my anxiety and depression. I don't know what to do. Does anyone feel this way?
Posted by nfc on March 29, 2008, at 7:17:16
In reply to Beginning a new relationship triggered anxiety/dep, posted by shadowmon on March 27, 2008, at 1:23:14
hi
how about just speaking about it w/ him? get him to understand more about ur situation since u sed he already understands ur ongoings. If he's feeling the same towards you, then he'll work things out on his end to help understand u better thus making it better on his part to help u in your symptoms should they arise. and maybe once u know that he understands u, this may calm you down and keep ur symptoms at bay. hope it works out!
take care,
nfc
Posted by shadowmon on July 25, 2008, at 1:29:19
In reply to Re: Beginning a new relationship triggered anxiety/dep » shadowmon, posted by nfc on March 29, 2008, at 7:17:16
wow, i posted this almost 4 months ago... and things have gone from badto worse. I have fallen into another major depressive episode, the result of trying to change meds. the person I was talking about is now deployed and I have spent a great deal of time trying to have hope and being girlfriend like, but the factof the matter is that im not in a relationship. I have been expanding too much energy into this and because of the deployment and I think other things have not been getting what I want further worsening my depression.
This is my problem. I always give too much.
Posted by shadowmon on July 25, 2008, at 1:30:38
In reply to Re: Beginning a new relationship triggered anxiety/dep, posted by shadowmon on July 25, 2008, at 1:29:19
I don't know what to do about anything anymore. am I always going to be this way?
Posted by nfc on July 26, 2008, at 9:05:11
In reply to Re: Beginning a new relationship triggered anxiety/dep, posted by shadowmon on July 25, 2008, at 1:30:38
hi there,
sorry to hear of the difficulties worsening. I would say you won't always be in tough situation but only time can tell and what steps you take during that time to help yourself best get out of it ya' know. Work w/ your pdoc as far as the meds go and seek therapy. talk to some friends u can confide in. Wish your bf the best while he's deployed and for a safe return as well. These are the times when you're entire well being is put to the test and either makes or breaks you. I'd say for you it'll just make u stronger in the end. You'll need to work on lifting the depression though cuz everything will seem horrible and even worse while you're going through it. I could see how everything wasn't as bad as I looked back after my depression lifted. and i hope the same for u as well. once your depression lifts find something to busy yourself w/ and some kind of stuff that allows you to help other in a giving back kinda way that builds self esteem. just my 2 cents. don't hafta do that if ya don't want.
take care n hang in there,
nfc
Posted by daisydoo on February 2, 2009, at 4:04:44
In reply to Re: Beginning a new relationship triggered anxiety/dep » shadowmon, posted by nfc on July 26, 2008, at 9:05:11
Hey there. I signed up specifically to respond to your post - What palava! So ....anyway it was last year that you posted but I just wanted to tell you I am facing similar issues. Sometimes anxiety can mask the real feelings we have for someone. I too have been out with lots of guys, only to end it in a very short time because I just couldn't deal with the anxiety I was feeling. Eeryone talks about how 'in love' they are and how exciting it all is. All I feel is like screaming.
It gets to a point where you just can't deal with it anymore a. I think for me a lot of it is the pressure I put on myself. Ie 'if this relationship doesn't work out I will be alone forever' or 'what if I get too scared and lose something potentially amazing' or 'I don't want to hurt him!' ....These are things that constantly go through my mind and it gets so intense that I sometimes just want to end the relationship. I guess you've got to chose between intense anxiety (hoping that eventually it will wear off) or that hopeless depressed feeling you feel after you dump yet another boyfriend.
It is a really terrible feeling isn't it? Akll your friends are really excited for you! But all you feel like doing is dying really.
And the worst thing....it seems that NOONE understands! So thankyou so much for your post. I am currently seeing a wonderful guy (it's been a week) and I am so anxious it's not funny. But I am trying not to put to much pressure on myself. I keep telling myself....yes I am very anxious but lets see if I can deal with that without getting rid of this amazing guy. I am also seeing a psychologist about it which helps.
I figure if I can deal with this...I can deal with anything. The ultimate battle of the mind!!!
Tell me how it is going....
Posted by shadowmon on February 4, 2009, at 0:06:14
In reply to Re: Beginning a new relationship triggered anxiety/dep » nfc, posted by daisydoo on February 2, 2009, at 4:04:44
> Hey there. I signed up specifically to respond to your post - What palava! So ....anyway it was last year that you posted but I just wanted to tell you I am facing similar issues. Sometimes anxiety can mask the real feelings we have for someone. I too have been out with lots of guys, only to end it in a very short time because I just couldn't deal with the anxiety I was feeling. Eeryone talks about how 'in love' they are and how exciting it all is. All I feel is like screaming.
>
> It gets to a point where you just can't deal with it anymore a. I think for me a lot of it is the pressure I put on myself. Ie 'if this relationship doesn't work out I will be alone forever' or 'what if I get too scared and lose something potentially amazing' or 'I don't want to hurt him!' ....These are things that constantly go through my mind and it gets so intense that I sometimes just want to end the relationship. I guess you've got to chose between intense anxiety (hoping that eventually it will wear off) or that hopeless depressed feeling you feel after you dump yet another boyfriend.
>
> It is a really terrible feeling isn't it? Akll your friends are really excited for you! But all you feel like doing is dying really.
>
> And the worst thing....it seems that NOONE understands! So thankyou so much for your post. I am currently seeing a wonderful guy (it's been a week) and I am so anxious it's not funny. But I am trying not to put to much pressure on myself. I keep telling myself....yes I am very anxious but lets see if I can deal with that without getting rid of this amazing guy. I am also seeing a psychologist about it which helps.
>
> I figure if I can deal with this...I can deal with anything. The ultimate battle of the mind!!!
>
> Tell me how it is going....
>Yes, thank you for showing me that I am not the only person who feels this way. Unfortunately my relationship did not work out, and now I am going through this grief/depression thing, which at least I know will eventually get better. But I read your post and almost started crying because all of those thoughts would go through my mind and they would not stop. But I pushed myself through it and I am glad that I did and dont regret pushing myself (although I do regret trying to change medications at the same time). All I can suggest is that you don't do exactly what I did and just push forward, take time to listen to your intuition. It was hard for me because I couldnt tell what the difference was between unwarranted anxiety and intuition, but I am slowly learning to trust my intuition once again.
It sucks having the anxiety though, it's hard to discern between unwarranted anxiety and what is real intuition (as I learned)
Good luck with your relationship, and if you need to talk, would love to communicate with someone who understands the feeling. :)
Posted by w_brigade on February 10, 2009, at 1:51:29
In reply to Re: Beginning a new relationship triggered anxiety/dep, posted by shadowmon on February 4, 2009, at 0:06:14
I signed up for this site just to reply to this, too. I can't say I understand what your situation... but I'm trying to help a friend get through what I think is the same thing. It would be really nice if I could talk to you two about it.
Posted by CasinoNight on February 10, 2009, at 11:27:34
In reply to Re: Beginning a new relationship triggered anxiety/dep, posted by w_brigade on February 10, 2009, at 1:51:29
Well I'm a guy, and I know exactly what you're going through. I've been waiting and waiting to meet someone. I've been single for a good while now and now that I have met someone that I like I'm more anxious and feeling more depressed than ever.
I actually broke it off with her, and then she broke it off with me... twice, and now we're back on. She's been very moody and I suspect that she might be going through a similar thing. I can see our actions reflected in one anothers.
But I think that my anxiety might be making me send out the wrong messages. For example I'm finding it very hard to initiate intimacy... not just sex but just a simple kiss when I see her. I want to talk to her about it, but I can't approach the subject, I'm worried I'll just make her uncomfortable.
Posted by karlyanne on June 19, 2009, at 5:38:07
In reply to Re: Beginning a new relationship triggered anxiety/dep » nfc, posted by daisydoo on February 2, 2009, at 4:04:44
Hi!!
Wow I feel like this like totally the same!! I have met THE most AMAZING guy!! He TOTALLY seemed to understand what I was going through, despite having never been through it himself, he is there for me 24/7, saying I am not a burden or a chore in anyway when I feel I am, and I really believe him. He is always trying to takje my mind off things, taking me to hotels and the like, he came to meet all of my friends , after only 5 weeks, to see the girls that i have raved about keeping me strong, he researchs my condition, medication I am on, and asks me in advance, when I am OK, the best way to deal with things e.g. If I am with you when you have a panic attack (whih I suffer from) how do I deal with it best?
So why all the anxiety? I have been on citalopram antidepressants for nearly 3 weeks and I first thought that they were working, but really they seem to have exaberated the anxiety. I am at the end of my tether!! Why all the stress!!!!
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