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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dona on January 12, 2001, at 12:16:20
I do not post on this board much-I read it a lot, but usually only post when I am in crisis, like now. I am depressive and take prozac. I had total knee replacement in Sept and am going back to work as RN next week. My husband lost his job of 23 years in Dec. because of corporate changes.
I have really tried to stay supportive and positive, but he still is not looking for a job ( he is still on payroll of other place and is waiting for them to send him to an outsourcing co). I only have 4 days until I work full time and I am scared because I am still a fair amt of physical pain.
But it makes my angry that my husband is not even yet looking for another job. He is 58 so there is the possibility that noone will hire him even though he has lots of experience.
I have been only nice to him but the last two days I feel like I am going to burst!!! Does anyone have some stress relaxing techniques that really work and am I wrong to be so upset that he has not even started looking for a job. He did support me while I was out of work so I feel very guilty about these feelings.
And how do I stay positive commuting and working 5 days a week when I have not done that in a year??? Thanks
Posted by phillybob on January 12, 2001, at 16:11:06
In reply to HELP=My husband lost job and he is driving me nuts, posted by Dona on January 12, 2001, at 12:16:20
Hi, Dona! I can relate! Well, sort of, in the sense, that I'm the fiance that is driving my significant other (she's an OB/GYN resident) nuts in my recent bout of unemployment. :)
Anyway, I've only worked steadily for about 7 years, but I had consciously taken the past four (!) months off (well, I've started to look the last one)! She has, actually, more or less, been fairly patient, as money has not been a hugely pressing issue, it tends to be more of a psychological one.
My point for taking time off was introspection ... really just some time to stop and think ... get off the treadmill for a while and examine what and why I've been doing and do some stuff I've wanted to do including laze around.
Your husband, having worked 23 years (!, a lifetime, practically, to me) I would think could stand a little bit of time off (if financially feasible, even if with unemployment assistance and some changes). Life is long and a few months of time inserted here or there, even if only squandered at home, watching tv on the couch, might ultimately, allow him to have re-charged his batteries and/or re-direct his life in positive ways. Professors take sabbaticals all of the time. In many non-U.S. countries, vacations, I believe, tend to be a bit more extended than a traditional two week period.
There really is not much sense in worrying about his age and him not being able to procure decent work because of it, when he is finally ready to begin again. What will happen, will happen. I am sure you will both work and create with that (employment, disability, unemployment, retirement incomes, etc. coupled with changing of spending habits).
As far as your work is concerned, try to stay positive. Please, though, do pay careful attention (not though over/hypochondriatic :) attention) to your knee and do NOT overdo it! That is the type of setback you definitely want to steer clear of. You are an R.N., so use your professional wisdom there! Pick a buddy R.N. or something. :) Also, as far as commuting, can you carpool with someone to save the legwork?
I'm just a youngin' and wet behind the ears in these relationship thingies, but I think you should focus on being as positive about yourself and being the best person you can be. Encourage your husband respectfully, forcefully, but don't demand and expect ... do that only of yourself. You can be accountable to yourself.
Eh ... I'm done ... Y'can all shoot me now. :)
Posted by Dona on January 12, 2001, at 17:28:28
In reply to Re: HELP=My husband lost job and he is driving me nuts, posted by phillybob on January 12, 2001, at 16:11:06
Thank you. I really needed to hear what you said. I guess I have known a lot of it, but the stress interfered with my thinklng. Anyone, I really appreciated your thoughts.
Posted by Noa on January 13, 2001, at 11:44:22
In reply to Re: HELP=My husband lost job and he is driving me nuts, posted by Dona on January 12, 2001, at 17:28:28
I think consulting a career counselor, one who specializes in midlife career changes, might be a good idea.
Posted by dennis on January 14, 2001, at 3:04:46
In reply to HELP=My husband lost job and he is driving me nuts, posted by Dona on January 12, 2001, at 12:16:20
If your financial situation is right, I think this might be a good time for your husband to retire, he is 58 years old, has probebly worked his butt off his entire life. Even if he cant retire I think at the very least he deserves to take a few months off from working. Thats just my opinion from what I read on your post.
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