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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by CarolynAnn on January 15, 2001, at 19:19:38
Well, seems like here it comes again! I guess I just need to vent, and to know I'm not alone. Inside I'm anxious/scared/sad. I'm scared of heading into the darkness yet again. And I seem to take it out on mostly one person I'm usually very close to at work. I just shut down and don't talk all day. And I can't seem to stop. Part of me doesn't even want to try to explain to her that I'm feeling depressed. I guess because I'm hurting I want someone else to hurt too. Of course this doesn't do much for my self esteem. I mean what kind of a person acts/feels like this!? I'm taking medication...and I've certainly felt a lot worse, but I am wondering if there will ever be an end to this. I've spent years and years in therapy, tho not recently, because it didn't really solve anything. Only the medication seems to help. But now I'm wondering if there might be something I've missed...some way I could help myself. Guess I'm feeling a little desperate...and a lot sorry for myself. Excuse the babble!
Posted by shellie on January 15, 2001, at 22:13:56
In reply to Feeling sad/acting Nasty, posted by CarolynAnn on January 15, 2001, at 19:19:38
> Well, seems like here it comes again! I guess I just need to vent, and to know I'm not alone. Inside I'm anxious/scared/sad. I'm scared of heading into the darkness yet again. And I seem to take it out on mostly one person I'm usually very close to at work. I just shut down and don't talk all day. And I can't seem to stop. Part of me doesn't even want to try to explain to her that I'm feeling depressed. I guess because I'm hurting I want someone else to hurt too. Of course this doesn't do much for my self esteem. I mean what kind of a person acts/feels like this!? I'm taking medication...and I've certainly felt a lot worse, but I am wondering if there will ever be an end to this. I've spent years and years in therapy, tho not recently, because it didn't really solve anything. Only the medication seems to help. But now I'm wondering if there might be something I've missed...some way I could help myself. Guess I'm feeling a little desperate...and a lot sorry for myself. Excuse the babble!
Hi CarolynAnn. I do think you should give therapy another chance. Perhaps a more cognitive approach. You are hurting your friend, but you are also hurting yourself because you are pushing her away. I think you need to understand why you do this, apart from the depression. Anyway, just a suggestion.
Shellie
Posted by NikkiT2 on January 17, 2001, at 16:27:15
In reply to Feeling sad/acting Nasty, posted by CarolynAnn on January 15, 2001, at 19:19:38
You've said exactly what I'd like to say. I'm taking it out big style in my husband, but won't admit how bad I'm feeling to him.
You're not alone - I'm awaiting the miracle cure!!
Posted by CarolynAnn on January 17, 2001, at 17:31:45
In reply to Re: Feeling sad/acting Nasty, posted by NikkiT2 on January 17, 2001, at 16:27:15
> You've said exactly what I'd like to say. I'm taking it out big style in my husband, but won't admit how bad I'm feeling to him.
>
> You're not alone - I'm awaiting the miracle cure!!NikkiT...
Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. I feel SO guilty when I act this way, and think I must be a really rotten person. I need to be reminded that it is the illness, not the way I was created to be!
Posted by shellie on January 17, 2001, at 21:57:21
In reply to Re: Feeling sad/acting Nasty, posted by CarolynAnn on January 17, 2001, at 17:31:45
>
>
> NikkiT...
> Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. I feel SO guilty when I act this way, and think I must be a really rotten person. I need to be reminded that it is the illness, not the way I was created to be!CarolynAnn,
I know depression affects how we feel and to some extent how we act towards others (being very complicated in intimate relationships). I
don't believe, however, it should be used as an excuse for trying to hurt someone else. I totally agree that you are not a rotten person, but I
believe in spite of your depression, you can learn to act in civil and respectful ways towards others. And that in itself will make you feel better
about yourself. Shellie
Posted by shellie on January 17, 2001, at 21:57:37
In reply to Re: Feeling sad/acting Nasty, posted by CarolynAnn on January 17, 2001, at 17:31:45
>
>
> NikkiT...
> Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. I feel SO guilty when I act this way, and think I must be a really rotten person. I need to be reminded that it is the illness, not the way I was created to be!CarolynAnn,
I know depression affects how we feel and to some extent how we act towards others (being very complicated in intimate relationships). I
don't believe, however, it should be used as an excuse for trying to hurt someone else. I totally agree that you are not a rotten person, but I
believe in spite of your depression, you can learn to act in civil and respectful ways towards others. And that in itself will make you feel better
about yourself. Shellie
Posted by Noa on January 18, 2001, at 16:21:54
In reply to Re: Feeling sad/acting Nasty » CarolynAnn, posted by shellie on January 17, 2001, at 21:57:37
Yesterday, I noticed myself heading in the direction of being nasty to the (not the brightest bulb in the pack, apparently) receptionist at the health club, but I stopped myself, realizing my mood was hell and if I just restrain the nasty impulse, I know that once I am into the exercise, my mood will improve and I won't be this nasty person I am about to be.
It worked.
Posted by ms. b. on January 24, 2001, at 11:02:37
In reply to Re: Feeling sad/acting Nasty, posted by Noa on January 18, 2001, at 16:21:54
... One thing to mention, though, is that we are always beating ourselves up (depression is anger turned inward?), and now here's just one more thing to beat ourselves up over. If you're feeling nasty and angry, the best thing to do is to just say nothing to those around you, and at least you won't hurt anybody's feelings because you've lashed out at them. The poor receptionist doesn't deserve it, god knows! And then when you do feel more like talking, give your co-worker some info on your illness. You don't have to say that much, but give them some room to cut you some slack. I found this helpful in the long run. In the end, it's about owning our illness, and hanging a sign around our necks that says: I'm depressed (or BP, or whatever), please give me a break if I'm not the easiest person to get along with today! And remember to laugh if at all possible.
From another angry person, sometimes,
B.
Posted by CarolynAnn on January 24, 2001, at 19:53:10
In reply to Re: Feeling sad/acting Nasty, posted by ms. b. on January 24, 2001, at 11:02:37
> ... One thing to mention, though, is that we are always beating ourselves up (depression is anger turned inward?), and now here's just one more thing to beat ourselves up over. If you're feeling nasty and angry, the best thing to do is to just say nothing to those around you, and at least you won't hurt anybody's feelings because you've lashed out at them. The poor receptionist doesn't deserve it, god knows! And then when you do feel more like talking, give your co-worker some info on your illness. You don't have to say that much, but give them some room to cut you some slack. I found this helpful in the long run. In the end, it's about owning our illness, and hanging a sign around our necks that says: I'm depressed (or BP, or whatever), please give me a break if I'm not the easiest person to get along with today! And remember to laugh if at all possible.
>
> From another angry person, sometimes,
>
> B.
Thanks for the input. I guess I wasn't really clear. I haven't really said anything nasty...instead I say nothing at all. All day. My friend knows I have depression, and probably knows that's what's wrong, but I just can't bring myself to say anything. The best I can do is say nothing. Still I feel guilty. Oh well, I guess this too shall pass!
This is the end of the thread.
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