![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tina on March 13, 2001, at 9:51:53
I put up a post a while ago about my bitchiness and hot temper getting out of hand. No one responded to it though and that's ok. There are bigger problems in the world.
I'm just wondering why it is that I never feel bad on therapy days. I can never communicate these "hell spells" to my pdoc because I seem to feel good on the days that I have appointments. Same thing happens with the dentist. If I make an appointment because I have a toothache, chances are that the ache will go away on the morning of the appointment.
Does anyone know what I can do about this strange occurance? I've been feeling pretty bad for a week now and it's gone beyond anger into severe depression and self-loathing but I know that the morning of my shrink appt, thursday, that I won't feel this way anymore. I know this feeling will return when I'm out of her office though. How do I handle this? I've tried writing my feelings down and showing it to her but she says that she wants to know how I'm feeling right now not yesterday or a week ago. Medication worked really well for a while but now it does nothing but make me sleepy. My life doesn't suck at all. I suck. Everything is the way it is supposed to be in my life and I'm pleased about that so why can't I just be happy with it? Mind over matter dammit.
Sorry, got seriously off topic. Anyway, ideas on how to communicate these feelings in a believable way when I so obviously don't feel this way on the day of the appt would be much appreciated.
Tina
Posted by NikkiT2 on March 13, 2001, at 9:59:51
In reply to Feeling Really Bad..........., posted by tina on March 13, 2001, at 9:51:53
I've said this before Tna.. isn't it wierd...
I think you just "feel" normally, but when you know you have a pdoc appointment, you focus on it, and the other feelings get left to one side a bit... Try explaining this whole thing to her, how for one hour a week (or whatever) when you see her, you feel differently, but the rest of the time you have all this other crap going on.
Don't blame it all on yourself though. I know thngs are giong really well for you now, but theres still the past 6 months.. and whatever is happening now, those 6 months DID happen, ad you've still got them there in your head, nothing will make them just dissapear. I think you coped with the last 6 months remarkably, and maybe it's just all catching up with you now, and the self loathing is coming in as you haven't actually solved the problems that caused the problems (if this is making sense) you just tried to forget them.
I don't know hun, but I do think that you should ask your pdoc for some therapy of some kind, just to be able to file away everything that happened in a nice neat order, and not have all of the "notes" just flapping around.
Hope this makes sense hun...
Nikki xxx ((((hugs))))
Posted by Greg A. on March 13, 2001, at 10:14:42
In reply to Feeling Really Bad..........., posted by tina on March 13, 2001, at 9:51:53
I often get the same thing on pdoc days – I feel like I am on a high and tend to be willing to accept whatever my doc says. What I do now is jot down a description of how most of my days have been. Be fairly brief and ‘clinical’. Like – I can’t focus at work and this is becoming a problem. Or – I have no enthusiasm for the routine joys of life – I feel as if I am just going through the motions. Have an answer for – How often do these feelings occur?
I find that by noting these feelings just before my appointment I can sometimes re-create that level of depression. (Hmm . . . ?) I have also been known to fake the depressed persona during appointments, in order to get treated. The bottom line is that a good doc / therapist should listen to what you say about the way you have been feeling and not rely solely on how you appear at that moment. If your doc does not listen – then that’s another issue.
Hope this is of some help – and hope you have some of those good days.
Posted by Ted on March 13, 2001, at 17:00:21
In reply to Feeling Really Bad..........., posted by tina on March 13, 2001, at 9:51:53
Hi Tina,
I experience what you describe quite often. I think almost everyone does. I think it has to do with knowing you will be helped. The stress associated with the pain (mental or physical) eases once you have treatment lined up even if it hasn't really started.
Example: At one time, I had such severe and continuous anxiety for about one week that I thought I would jump out of my skin. I told my pdoc, and he prescribed ativan. I felt *LOTS* better even though I never took one pill -- just by knowing I had them and could use them whenever I needed.
One idea for you is to try to write down your feelings and how you see and interpret your surroundings when you are feeling really awful. Then take those notes with you when you see your therapist. Perhaps that will help you to relate better.
Take care,
Ted
> I'm just wondering why it is that I never feel bad on therapy days. I can never communicate these "hell spells" to my pdoc because I seem to feel good on the days that I have appointments. Same thing happens with the dentist. If I make an appointment because I have a toothache, chances are that the ache will go away on the morning of the appointment.
Posted by allisonm on March 13, 2001, at 18:03:51
In reply to Feeling Really Bad..........., posted by tina on March 13, 2001, at 9:51:53
Hi Tina,
I guess I second what Ted said. Sometimes I feel rotten on therapy day, but usually I look forward to it because the appointments almost always help and I feel better and lighter when they're over. So, like the others I journal through the week and I review my journal before my appointment so that I can tell my pdoc how I've been. He's interested in the entire week's feelings, sleep patterns, etc.
Good heavens, to take this a little further, if you were seeing a doctor for a sleep disturbance, if he was only interested in how you slept the night before your appointment and you happened to sleep pretty well, does that mean the six other nights of no sleep don't count? If that's the way your doctor thinks, it doesn't seem right.
Take care...
Posted by Todd on March 13, 2001, at 22:48:19
In reply to Re: Feeling Really Bad..........., posted by allisonm on March 13, 2001, at 18:03:51
I'm going with Ted and Allison on this one, and I'll dare to take it a step deeper. What you described to me happens all the time. I'll go through all my twists and turns and kicking and screaming, and come appointment day, I gather myself together to offer it all up to the "authority" to be validated. I'm very calm and relaxed, because I know I am in good hands and feel safe. That's the obvious part and the surface explanation.
The deeper issue is related to the root of some of our depressions. I really think lots of us have a very frightened part of ourselves deep down inside that just wants to be reassured that what we are doing is right, and that we will stay out of harm's way. It's pretty confident as long as it's not alone. It feels quite helpless, and when we are alone, that part of us takes over and torments us. But when we are not alone, somehow we pull it all together and things are better, especially in the presence of someone who cares deeply for us. So what about this aspect of us that seems to be able to pull it together time and time again, and how come this aspect of us can't seem to reassure the frightened little part of us that it really IS okay? I think once we can start to do that, bit by bit, we can come closer to being whole. Peace and love.
Todd
Posted by Rach on March 14, 2001, at 5:53:41
In reply to Feeling Really Bad..........., posted by tina on March 13, 2001, at 9:51:53
Kisses, love, and hopefully a smooth day to my Tina.
Posted by tina on March 14, 2001, at 17:58:52
In reply to Re: Feeling Really Bad..........., posted by Rach on March 14, 2001, at 5:53:41
> Kisses, love, and hopefully a smooth day to my Tina.
You all gave me some really good ideas. thanks so much. I especially liked Todd's take on it. the frightened part of me........very true. I'm the worst when I am alone or I percieve myself to be alone. thanks everyone
love and hugs
Tina
Posted by Rach on March 14, 2001, at 19:38:07
In reply to Re: Feeling Really Bad...........thanks, posted by tina on March 14, 2001, at 17:58:52
> > Kisses, love, and hopefully a smooth day to my Tina.
>
> You all gave me some really good ideas. thanks so much. I especially liked Todd's take on it. the frightened part of me........very true. I'm the worst when I am alone or I percieve myself to be alone. thanks everyone
> love and hugs
> Tina
Posted by tina on March 14, 2001, at 19:44:49
In reply to pls return to ash - we love u (np), posted by Rach on March 14, 2001, at 19:38:07
I love you guys too and that's why I can't come back. I'm sorry. Please put me out of your mind.
tina
> > > Kisses, love, and hopefully a smooth day to my Tina.
> >
> > You all gave me some really good ideas. thanks so much. I especially liked Todd's take on it. the frightened part of me........very true. I'm the worst when I am alone or I percieve myself to be alone. thanks everyone
> > love and hugs
> > Tina
Posted by Rach on March 15, 2001, at 5:38:15
In reply to Re: pls return to ash - Rach-I can't sorry, posted by tina on March 14, 2001, at 19:44:49
You.
You will always be within my thoughts.
> I love you guys too and that's why I can't come back. I'm sorry. Please put me out of your mind.
> tina
Posted by Chaston on March 17, 2001, at 9:54:04
In reply to Feeling Really Bad..........., posted by tina on March 13, 2001, at 9:51:53
Tina, your experience really resonated with me. I can feel depressed and filled with self-loathing for weeks, then go to see a pdoc and report that the new medication must "suddenly" have started working, because now I feel just fine--and I do, for a few hours. I'm sorry to hear to that yours doesn't seem to be more interested in taking an averaged reading to get around the "appointment uplift" effect, which I would think experienced practitioners would be more aware of.
My personal experience is that I don't feel like I have many external problems--they are internally generated, which of course, makes me feel worse about myself for being weak and defective. So even though I seek treatment, I hate "whining" about my bad feelings (i.e., reporting my feelings accurately). However, I have been fortunate enough to find a therapist who is good at getting around those defenses, and realizes that coming across well in a session, and maybe even trying to please him with the efficacy of his treatment, is not an accurate sample of my feelings the rest of the time.
Maybe writing down your feelings in a journal when you have them, and sharing them with your therapist when you get stuck might be a good idea to try.> I put up a post a while ago about my bitchiness and hot temper getting out of hand. No one responded to it though and that's ok. There are bigger problems in the world.
> I'm just wondering why it is that I never feel bad on therapy days. I can never communicate these "hell spells" to my pdoc because I seem to feel good on the days that I have appointments. Same thing happens with the dentist. If I make an appointment because I have a toothache, chances are that the ache will go away on the morning of the appointment.
> Does anyone know what I can do about this strange occurance? I've been feeling pretty bad for a week now and it's gone beyond anger into severe depression and self-loathing but I know that the morning of my shrink appt, thursday, that I won't feel this way anymore. I know this feeling will return when I'm out of her office though. How do I handle this? I've tried writing my feelings down and showing it to her but she says that she wants to know how I'm feeling right now not yesterday or a week ago. Medication worked really well for a while but now it does nothing but make me sleepy. My life doesn't suck at all. I suck. Everything is the way it is supposed to be in my life and I'm pleased about that so why can't I just be happy with it? Mind over matter dammit.
> Sorry, got seriously off topic. Anyway, ideas on how to communicate these feelings in a believable way when I so obviously don't feel this way on the day of the appt would be much appreciated.
> Tina
Posted by tina on March 18, 2001, at 9:01:50
In reply to Re: Feeling Really Bad..........., posted by Chaston on March 17, 2001, at 9:54:04
You nailed it right on the head Chaston. YOu explained it better than I ever could have. Thanks for articulating it for me. I'll talk about this with my pdoc and I'll try the journalling again and maybe force her to understand me better.
Peace
Tina> Tina, your experience really resonated with me. I can feel depressed and filled with self-loathing for weeks, then go to see a pdoc and report that the new medication must "suddenly" have started working, because now I feel just fine--and I do, for a few hours. I'm sorry to hear to that yours doesn't seem to be more interested in taking an averaged reading to get around the "appointment uplift" effect, which I would think experienced practitioners would be more aware of.
> My personal experience is that I don't feel like I have many external problems--they are internally generated, which of course, makes me feel worse about myself for being weak and defective. So even though I seek treatment, I hate "whining" about my bad feelings (i.e., reporting my feelings accurately). However, I have been fortunate enough to find a therapist who is good at getting around those defenses, and realizes that coming across well in a session, and maybe even trying to please him with the efficacy of his treatment, is not an accurate sample of my feelings the rest of the time.
> Maybe writing down your feelings in a journal when you have them, and sharing them with your therapist when you get stuck might be a good idea to try.
>
> > I put up a post a while ago about my bitchiness and hot temper getting out of hand. No one responded to it though and that's ok. There are bigger problems in the world.
> > I'm just wondering why it is that I never feel bad on therapy days. I can never communicate these "hell spells" to my pdoc because I seem to feel good on the days that I have appointments. Same thing happens with the dentist. If I make an appointment because I have a toothache, chances are that the ache will go away on the morning of the appointment.
> > Does anyone know what I can do about this strange occurance? I've been feeling pretty bad for a week now and it's gone beyond anger into severe depression and self-loathing but I know that the morning of my shrink appt, thursday, that I won't feel this way anymore. I know this feeling will return when I'm out of her office though. How do I handle this? I've tried writing my feelings down and showing it to her but she says that she wants to know how I'm feeling right now not yesterday or a week ago. Medication worked really well for a while but now it does nothing but make me sleepy. My life doesn't suck at all. I suck. Everything is the way it is supposed to be in my life and I'm pleased about that so why can't I just be happy with it? Mind over matter dammit.
> > Sorry, got seriously off topic. Anyway, ideas on how to communicate these feelings in a believable way when I so obviously don't feel this way on the day of the appt would be much appreciated.
> > Tina
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.