Psycho-Babble Social Thread 5206

Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

I think my wife is ill

Posted by Fred Potter on March 21, 2001, at 16:32:23

I suffer depression and severe anxiety periodically and can't be easy to live with. However, my wife, who has always been unreasonable and nagging is now totally consumed by hatred. She shouts non-stop at me and the kids and her accusations that I do nothing in the home are sheer nonsense as after a full days work I do almost everything and have very little time to myself. That's OK but not when I'm accused of doing nothing. She snatches the phone off me and hangs up quite regularly, turns off the TV or radio if I have them on and spends most of her time trying to humiliate and hurt me and the kids. I suggest she needs some help but then the anger turns to rage. Is she suffering from something? How can I help her? I know it's difficult when you haven't heard her side of the argument. However, I've run out of options. I can't leave her as she needs help and I don't want to leave her to humiliate and shout at the kids. And she certainly won't let me have them.

Thanks for reading this.
Fred

 

Re: I think my wife is ill

Posted by pat123 on March 21, 2001, at 18:59:29

In reply to I think my wife is ill, posted by Fred Potter on March 21, 2001, at 16:32:23

I suggest she needs some help but then the anger turns to rage. Is she suffering from something? How can I help her?

I know it's difficult when you haven't heard her side of the argument.

Then ask her what her side is. Pick your time carefully, when she is calmest. Show true consern in asking her. If she blows up, keep yourself calm
and continue to express that you want to know what is really going on.

Pat

 

Re: I think my wife is ill » Fred Potter

Posted by judy1 on March 21, 2001, at 20:12:25

In reply to I think my wife is ill, posted by Fred Potter on March 21, 2001, at 16:32:23

Dear Fred,
One of the things suggested by my pdoc was family therapy. When one partner has a diagnosable illness, the other reacts with stress- either withdrawal (my spouse) or maybe anger. Is this something she would agree to do? I think you have a lot at stake here, and a therp could help all of you, especially your children who must be suffering from all of this. I wish you the best- judy

 

Re: I think my wife is ill

Posted by Fred Potter on March 21, 2001, at 22:28:52

In reply to Re: I think my wife is ill » Fred Potter, posted by judy1 on March 21, 2001, at 20:12:25

Thanks you guys. I think family therapy is a good idea as I could then admit that I need help too. By the way when I speak calmly I'm accused of being sanctimonious

 

Re: I think my wife is ill » Fred Potter

Posted by Chris A. on March 21, 2001, at 22:32:24

In reply to I think my wife is ill, posted by Fred Potter on March 21, 2001, at 16:32:23

Fred,
Once in a while I get my hubby to come with me to my appointments under the guise that I need his support and his presence is helpful to me. Otherwise he would never go.

Best,

Chris A.

 

Re: I think my wife is ill

Posted by pat123 on March 21, 2001, at 22:46:18

In reply to Re: I think my wife is ill, posted by Fred Potter on March 21, 2001, at 22:28:52

> Thanks you guys. I think family therapy is a good idea as I could then admit that I need help too. By the way when I speak calmly I'm accused of being sanctimonious

I hope you can both learn some communication skills in family therapy. It must be hard to not speak calmly lest you be called sanctimonious.

Pat

 

Re: I think my wife is ill

Posted by Fred Potter on March 22, 2001, at 15:34:59

In reply to Re: I think my wife is ill » Fred Potter, posted by Chris A. on March 21, 2001, at 22:32:24

> Fred,
> Once in a while I get my hubby to come with me to my appointments under the guise that I need his support and his presence is helpful to me. Otherwise he would never go.


Thanks that's a very clever idea

 

Re: I think my wife is ill FRED

Posted by Dubya on March 23, 2001, at 1:07:05

In reply to I think my wife is ill, posted by Fred Potter on March 21, 2001, at 16:32:23

It sounds like she doesn't know how it feels like to have a depressive illness. She could benefit by going to therapy/P.DOC with you. She needs to understand that you are not intentionally 'procrastinating' nor are you trying to neglect your duties as a spouse. She is getting defensive and is reacting to what she thinks is an unproductive person. I think she needs to go beyond her emotions and get to know the 'real' you all over again.


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