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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sar on May 21, 2001, at 12:54:21
how can i live when ppl think i'm "psycho"? An old quasi-boyfriend visited me a couple of days ago, he found me in my hometown & we went out for drinks...he made alot of comments about "yeah, you think someone's completely normal, they look & act normal and then you find out they're PSYCHO..." I moved from my collegetown to my hometown because of an acid trip & subsequent suicide attempt...now everyone thinks I'm psycho?! How can I go back when everyone who knows me is trashing me? I've been having severe crying jags & last night had to leave work early 'cos my head felt too sick, had to come home to drink alot of gin and bawl and dream of death all night. i'm really in a bad way. how can i live being a psycho???
Posted by Kristi on May 21, 2001, at 14:44:54
In reply to turn for the worst, posted by sar on May 21, 2001, at 12:54:21
I know.. way easier said than done, but try to ignore them. There really are some ignorant people in this world... and like any other disease, no one understands unless they've been there. It's so hard to not let what people say bother you... I tend to take everything personally... so I know how your feeling. A very good friend of mine recently tried to commit suicide.. and she works where I work... she just came back to work today and wow.. I could not believe how cruel people can be! If they can walk in her shoes,your, mine, or many others... they would be beyond lost. Your are definately not Psycho... you know that... so try not to show them that bothers you... the less they think it bothers you, the less they'll say it. I'm sorry, I know how that hurts!
> how can i live when ppl think i'm "psycho"? An old quasi-boyfriend visited me a couple of days ago, he found me in my hometown & we went out for drinks...he made alot of comments about "yeah, you think someone's completely normal, they look & act normal and then you find out they're PSYCHO..." I moved from my collegetown to my hometown because of an acid trip & subsequent suicide attempt...now everyone thinks I'm psycho?! How can I go back when everyone who knows me is trashing me? I've been having severe crying jags & last night had to leave work early 'cos my head felt too sick, had to come home to drink alot of gin and bawl and dream of death all night. i'm really in a bad way. how can i live being a psycho???
Posted by sar on May 22, 2001, at 22:35:00
In reply to Re: turn for the worst » sar, posted by Kristi on May 21, 2001, at 14:44:54
Hi Kristi,
thanks. for the past day or so I've been trying to chalk it up to my extreme rejection-sensitivity (that's my own psychobabble diagnosis there). I don't know whether it's social phobia or depression, but whenever there's an ill word against me I look for the nearest tree to hang myself from. It's so ridiculous it makes me laugh sometimes! I don't know whether I'm psycho or not...I presented that idea to my analyst today and she didn't disagree; however, she thinks that I am "traumatized" and that it will take many years of analysis to get me to where I'm s'posta be...& who *knows* what to believe? I'm this fuct-up girl who pays her $100/hr & she knows how malleable I am anyway...I don't know what to think. Actually I keep thinking of the old biblical quotation (tho I am not religious) of beating the swords into plowshares...it is only by *accepting* my psycho nature that I can undo it, right? I've spent so much energy creating a front of perfectionism that I'm just tired of it, I think for now I'd rather say All right world I'm Fuckin Crazy Love me or Don't...then I think, is there anyone out there who actually cares if I'm crazy or not? I think not, so I might as well be crazy, tho pretenses are wonderful social lubricant.
thanks for lettin me ramble.
love,
sar
Posted by Greg A. on May 24, 2001, at 18:17:26
In reply to turn for the worst, posted by sar on May 21, 2001, at 12:54:21
Sar – I don’t know about psycho as a label for us. Most depressed people I’ve met have a much better understanding of the workings of humans than others do. We are psycho to some because we have acknowledged things that others repress, choose not to deal with, or simply refuse to recognize in themselves. If being smart and more attune to the sometimes painful nature of life is psycho then I take it as a compliment. It’s crappy that we have to go through periods of such pain. During those times, the last thing I want is to be a depressed person because it hurts so much. But it ends or lessens, and I think, bit by bit I am becoming happier with who I am. (Not today tho’) History shows a lot of very intelligent and creative prople were depressed. Maybe not much consolation, but I think you can look down on that ex-boyfriend from a bit loftier perch than psycho.
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