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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Marie1 on October 11, 2001, at 7:30:50
Hi, Judy.
Haven't seen you posting much lately - good to see you're back! How's the pregnancy going?
I said I'd let you know what I thought of the book In Session (I know books should be underlined; why can't we do that here??? It seems so simple!!) But I digress...
I guess the most I got out of the book is that transference, even the feeling of being "in love" with your doctor is normal and happens frequently. I wish the author had dug more deeply into romantic transference; I kept waiting for that but it seems to me she basically just skimmed the surface. And I was disappointed that she didn't offer any suggestions to the reader as to dealing with her feelings. It was just sort of...okay, here's how you feel, here's how your doctor should handle it, but nothing about Will it go away? or How do I handle the sadness? or even If I'm being a good little patient just to please my therapist, how therapeutic is that? Maybe I should try some other books to see if these questions are addressed.
I've been handling my own transference by trying to wean myself away from him, trying to see him in the same light as other people do. This attachement is so strong, I'm afraid I'll never be able to say goodbye.
I know you said you found the book helpful, could you elaborate? Hope to hear from you.
Marie
Posted by judy1 on October 11, 2001, at 18:16:48
In reply to Judy1 -re: In Session..., posted by Marie1 on October 11, 2001, at 7:30:50
Hi Marie
Big as a house;-) and slightly hypomanic but hush don't tell anyone. Actually I just e-mailed my shrink yesterday and said sometimes I just love him, haven't heard back yet- but I get that way sometimes. I don't want to make light of your emotions because I believe they are very real and normal and think maybe weaning yourself isn't the answer- been there too. What works best (if you can stand a little embarrassment, and honestly they've heard it all before) is actually being honest and asking for help in dealing with your emotions. I'm hoping good strong boundaries are in place; if so then just spending time working through your feelings should help. What happens (supposedly) is as you become stronger emotionally you will tend to rely less on your therp and you'll be surprised how obvious it is to all parties. And please don't be 'the good little patient', that doesn't help YOU and isn't that the whole point here? For me the book was helpful in that I found other shrinks had crossed boundaries with their patients, and with someone that has my sort of background that's a big no-no. The other big thing I noticed is I have major transferance going on with this shrink and basically have forgotten about the old shrink (and that is MAJOR, considering I attempted suicide when he terminated me). Hope this isn't too disjointed and hope some of it helps. Take care, Judy
Posted by Marie1 on October 12, 2001, at 7:26:05
In reply to Re: Judy1 -re: In Session... » Marie1, posted by judy1 on October 11, 2001, at 18:16:48
Judy,
When are you due? Sorry if you've posted this before, but I don't remember. I'm glad you're feeling good. I think it's amazing what changes those pregnancy hormones can bring about. I turned into an absolute sex maniac both times!! My husband used to make up excuses to sleep on the couch! :-) I have really fond memories of those days.
As for my transference with pdoc, I tried several times to tell him the extent of my feelings for him, but the strongest language I used was "I'm addicted to you". Which is also how it really felt. I know I could have told him the truth, hell, I told him many really personal things, but I think I would have felt ridiculous telling him that I was in love with him. Like it was a little girl crush or something. And frankly, yes, he would have heard it before. I think he's a very attractive man by anyone's standards.
All of this is now moot, however, as we agreed to part ways yesterday. The reason for this is I have a long term addiction problem to phentermine I'm not willing to work on yet - I panic at the very thought. He feels that he is "colluding" with me if he continues to see me and I'm not doing anything about it. So he'd say it was my decision to end therapy, but it really wasn't. I felt he was giving me an ultimatum, so...
I feel very, very sad. I'm mourning him and our relationship. But I'm used to dealing with loss, so I'll get over it. I'll never go into therapy again; I'm not sure all this pain is worth it. How do you deal with all your transference issues, I mean besides telling your shrink about it?
Hope all continues to go well for you. And your secret is safe with me. :-)Marie
> Hi Marie
> Big as a house;-) and slightly hypomanic but hush don't tell anyone. Actually I just e-mailed my shrink yesterday and said sometimes I just love him, haven't heard back yet- but I get that way sometimes. I don't want to make light of your emotions because I believe they are very real and normal and think maybe weaning yourself isn't the answer- been there too. What works best (if you can stand a little embarrassment, and honestly they've heard it all before) is actually being honest and asking for help in dealing with your emotions. I'm hoping good strong boundaries are in place; if so then just spending time working through your feelings should help. What happens (supposedly) is as you become stronger emotionally you will tend to rely less on your therp and you'll be surprised how obvious it is to all parties. And please don't be 'the good little patient', that doesn't help YOU and isn't that the whole point here? For me the book was helpful in that I found other shrinks had crossed boundaries with their patients, and with someone that has my sort of background that's a big no-no. The other big thing I noticed is I have major transferance going on with this shrink and basically have forgotten about the old shrink (and that is MAJOR, considering I attempted suicide when he terminated me). Hope this isn't too disjointed and hope some of it helps. Take care, Judy
Posted by judy1 on October 12, 2001, at 11:25:07
In reply to Re: Judy1 -re: In Session... » judy1, posted by Marie1 on October 12, 2001, at 7:26:05
That is a loss- and you'll have to go through all the grieving stages. A psychologist could really help you at this point, no matter whose decision it was to terminate. I really encourage you to try one, maybe a woman? I have a woman therapist and a male shrink and the difference is actually amazing. So please don't give up, especially with the phentermine problem. I have spent my life dealing with substance abuse, it is part of my illness, which actually makes me a little pissed off at your pdoc for not being supportive. A little over a month to go, so I may not be posting for a while- I laughed when you mentioned the sex drive thing, I'm always suggesting 'alternatives' to my husband :-)
Posted by Marie1 on October 12, 2001, at 19:31:58
In reply to Oh Marie, I'm sorry..., posted by judy1 on October 12, 2001, at 11:25:07
I'll be thinking of you. Be sure and post after the blessed event, with as many gory details as you choose to share.
You may be right about the mourning/therapy thing. I'll give it some thought. And if I do get a new therapist, it'll definitely be a woman!Marie
> That is a loss- and you'll have to go through all the grieving stages. A psychologist could really help you at this point, no matter whose decision it was to terminate. I really encourage you to try one, maybe a woman? I have a woman therapist and a male shrink and the difference is actually amazing. So please don't give up, especially with the phentermine problem. I have spent my life dealing with substance abuse, it is part of my illness, which actually makes me a little pissed off at your pdoc for not being supportive. A little over a month to go, so I may not be posting for a while- I laughed when you mentioned the sex drive thing, I'm always suggesting 'alternatives' to my husband :-)
Posted by Dinah on October 12, 2001, at 20:24:46
In reply to Oh Marie, I'm sorry..., posted by judy1 on October 12, 2001, at 11:25:07
Hi Marie,
I'm really sorry, too. I think he was wrong to make that ultimatum. I guess he thought it was the right thing to do, but... That sort of thing makes me feel like a rebellious teenager. One of my pdocs sort of forced me into terminating with him and it is a lousy feeling (even though I didn't like him at all.)
I hope all goes well.
Dinah
Posted by Marie1 on October 13, 2001, at 9:36:01
In reply to Re: Oh Marie, I'm sorry... , posted by Dinah on October 12, 2001, at 20:24:46
This is the end of the thread.
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