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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 2 of 2. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Sourceror on December 11, 2001, at 16:33:54
Here is a little something I wrote today while sitting around feeling sorry for myself.
The darkness is around me
Like an all consuming box
It’s becoming harder to distinguish night and day
When will the lights come on?
Am I just doomed to this pain?
When will this be over?
Will I have to be the one to end it?
What should I do?
Do I press on and act as if all is well
The doctors don’t seem to help
Everyone say hold on tomorrow is another day
Yes it is…another day of hell
Why is everyone so concerned?
They act as if I can just make it through
I want it to stop
Why isn’t will power enough?
Why can’t I do it on my own?
I hate relying on others
I once was a strong man
I once had a sense of humor
The darkness has taken these from me
Like a thief in the night
I want them back
I want to function again like an adult
Life seems too far away
I just want to give up
The fighting needs to stop
Let a quite peace come over me
As I exit my body once and for all
I can see again
I am free at last
My only regret….
The pain laid upon my friends and family as I pass
Can’t they understand this is better for me?
Let them see I tried but this was the best for me
Can’t they find some comfort in that?L8R,
The Sourceror
Posted by IsoM on December 11, 2001, at 16:47:55
In reply to What about me??, posted by Sourceror on December 11, 2001, at 16:33:54
You don't need more burdens hung on you but despite the mental realisation that a person's pain is over when they've died, the heart can't come to grips with it.
I had a good friend end her life after assuring others she was doing better. Her Mom found her & I think it pushed her over the edge. I'm so sorry to add this, but ending your pain will often only start up the same pain in many others. I doesn't end the pain, only yours & multiples it so many times over in many others that love you.
Depression is so selfish. You want to understand others sufferings, but how can you when you suffer so much? How can you feel sympathy for someone's bad "scratch" when your own mind is so broken the figurative "bones" stick out?
Sourceror, there is no answer - there is no justice. I just wish there was a strong person for every depressed soul to support them, to carry them through, to make appointments, read up on new meds, all the things a person can't do on their own.
My son spent a long time in the UBC psychiatric ward with depression. The nurses said to me that so few people have someone come to see them, that so many are struggling on their own. If there's anyone who's helping you struggle, give them your gratitude. Letting them know helps your depression a little.
I do understand that death is so much better for some but I could never let them go. I'm selfish too & want them with me.
> Here is a little something I wrote today while sitting around feeling sorry for myself.
>
> The darkness is around me
> Like an all consuming box
> It’s becoming harder to distinguish night and day
> When will the lights come on?
> Am I just doomed to this pain?
> When will this be over?
> Will I have to be the one to end it?
> What should I do?
> Do I press on and act as if all is well
> The doctors don’t seem to help
> Everyone say hold on tomorrow is another day
> Yes it is…another day of hell
> Why is everyone so concerned?
> They act as if I can just make it through
> I want it to stop
> Why isn’t will power enough?
> Why can’t I do it on my own?
> I hate relying on others
> I once was a strong man
> I once had a sense of humor
> The darkness has taken these from me
> Like a thief in the night
> I want them back
> I want to function again like an adult
> Life seems too far away
> I just want to give up
> The fighting needs to stop
> Let a quite peace come over me
> As I exit my body once and for all
> I can see again
> I am free at last
> My only regret….
> The pain laid upon my friends and family as I pass
> Can’t they understand this is better for me?
> Let them see I tried but this was the best for me
> Can’t they find some comfort in that?
>
> L8R,
> The Sourceror
This is the end of the thread.
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