Psycho-Babble Social Thread 17112

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A depression poem

Posted by Ella on January 23, 2002, at 13:52:03

I composed this poem from some stuff I wrote when I was very depressed. I decided to revisit those feelings because I am trying to understand what happens when I get that way. Also it is very hard for some of my friends to understand how it is to be depressed and I thought a poem might present them with more insight than I could give them by other means.

I have fallen out of love with this world.
Shining joy faded to dull gray,
an absence of trust flocked with resentment.

Alone, alone with myself

Overwhelming despair eats at my soul
like acid.
Acid I allowed to build up.

Ella Miata

one of my own

Posted by Katey on January 23, 2002, at 16:03:27

In reply to A depression poem, posted by Ella on January 23, 2002, at 13:52:03

i was cleaning and found this a few days ago. i wrote it last year while unmedicated. it still has an immense tidal wave on me everytime i read it. its a bit long, sorry about that.

Beatiful Goddess

depression is not a beast
she is a goddess
whose beauty unparallel
lures my mind
over the cliff
of no return

into her long graceful arms
which she wraps around me
pulling me tight
not letting me go

as i begin to suffocate
and cry
because
to try is futile
her grasp only tightens
and her face
takes on new light

her clear vivid eyes
are tainted
her beautiful sweet smile
malevovlent

my body weakened
my eyes blind
and suddenly
i am loose

free falling
crawling
falling again
with new destiny

as a breathing corpse
while the poison spreads
seping through my mind
but not my body
that atleast lives

Re: more poetry... (( LILITH ))

Posted by kid_A on January 24, 2002, at 10:42:02

In reply to one of my own, posted by Katey on January 23, 2002, at 16:03:27

LILITH

lilith, i made you
succubus, i made you
push in like
nails, my cross
my briar
rose

i was walking on
glass when i found you
i was all stiched
up

the night hangs you
window near, the stars
blink their light
on us

but you're a spectre!
i made you thus!
i am kissing myself
i am the ghost

i put wings on you
like a harpy, i put a
veil on you as a bride
i put my toes in your
lake of easy love

you are hungry, you
must be fed, i feed you
with my heart, it is
on a plate, like
yea olde John B.

and you Salome, my
fiction, my dreamgirl
dig me up and put
my bones in the
hearth

i put them there,
i am the executioner
i am the one!
i am lilith
ghostgirl

oh lilith, i love
you for you are
my creation, you
are my truth,
my eye

we make it so
we make it
we make it,
so?

i am yours, do with
me what you wish,
i am lilith in my
bed, i see the
stars shut their
lids, they know
our
horrible
secret

they know i
am walking

they know i
am dogs

they see me
lilith

i crawl, yet

i don't have
legs

to run.

Re: more poetry...

Posted by Sourceror on January 24, 2002, at 22:44:51

In reply to Re: more poetry... (( LILITH )), posted by kid_A on January 24, 2002, at 10:42:02

My life plays like the light
It comes it goes and even takes flight.
But where is it sopping?
When will it go?
I race and ponder and fight the demons
But they feel to strong
Am I right or am I wrong
This killer in me is waiting
Wanting me to set him free
I fight but never seem to win
I just want to quit
I wonder why
Just take those pills
Or use that knife
Set me free
Oh set me free
Death looms near
Creeping at my door
He wants me to let him in
And then I crack the door
Was this too much am I going insane?
I reach out and it seems like no one is there
Just a lot of ugly people looking back with dead stares
Are these the faces of the dead am I stepping there
Those that “care” call it a cop out
They say don’t do it
They say it will hurt others
But what about the hurt in me?
Do they not see?
Do they not hear?
I am hurting and it SUCKS so there!!!
Why can’t I do it?
Why not release?
Cause in this place I find no relief.
So now is the question should I stay?
Should I go?
It seems so simple and
It smells so sweet.
Death looms and looks like
A big old treat.
How to fight this wrath you ask
Thos that know say here take this pill
But wait that’s not all
You must also talk about it all.
So I sit and talk
And pop my pills but why does it still hurt?
Will it go away?
Is this my destiny am I screwed up?
Could this be the end or just a beginning?
Well anyway the process has begun
But which way it is headed I know not.

Re: more poetry...

Posted by Lini on January 28, 2002, at 13:05:48

In reply to Re: more poetry... , posted by Sourceror on January 24, 2002, at 22:44:51

heavy like syrup
i choke on
the futility
of it
waiting for
pills to
swim into my brain
waiting
for light
to saunter across
the living room floor

i could bleed
sympathy
if cut deep enough,
could bleed for
the little girl
who
got lost
between synapses,
but it's late
and parts of me
are thirsty
enough to forget,
my sink full
of merlot stained
wine glasses,
shaded remnants of
this sleeping
heart.

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