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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by mair on February 8, 2002, at 13:30:57
You're back and suddenly things seem in better alignment. I hope you're well. We've missed you------definitely.
Mair
Posted by Cam W. on February 8, 2002, at 13:33:39
In reply to Cam you're back!!!!!!!!, posted by mair on February 8, 2002, at 13:30:57
Thanks Mair - Just working some personal shtuff out right now. I am a little low and slow, but I'll be lurking, anyway.
- Cam
Posted by Noa on February 8, 2002, at 13:47:31
In reply to Re: Cam you're back!!!!!!!! » mair, posted by Cam W. on February 8, 2002, at 13:33:39
Hi, Cam. Good to have you back.
Posted by tina on February 8, 2002, at 14:05:25
In reply to Re: Cam you're back!!!!!!!! » Cam W., posted by Noa on February 8, 2002, at 13:47:31
> Hi, Cam. Good to have you back.
I second that!!
Posted by IsoM on February 8, 2002, at 15:27:49
In reply to Re: Cam you're back!...Brave Lad! ;^), posted by tina on February 8, 2002, at 14:05:25
Even the relative newbies like me are happy to see you back!! So polite to Lou too - congradulations. Me, I'm steering clear of him, I've got better things to do, but I'll be watching for your answers to him, for sure!! :-)
Posted by Dinah on February 8, 2002, at 16:45:54
In reply to Re: Cam you're back!..., posted by IsoM on February 8, 2002, at 15:27:49
It's good to hear from you. Things just haven't been the same around here.
Welcome back.
Dinah
Posted by Chloe on February 8, 2002, at 17:27:34
In reply to Re: Cam you're back!!!!!!!! » mair, posted by Cam W. on February 8, 2002, at 13:33:39
Nice to see you back, Cam. You have always been such a help to me when I have had med questions and crises. I wish the best for you as you sort "shtuff" out. :)
Chloe
Posted by kid_A on February 8, 2002, at 19:07:26
In reply to Re: Cam you're back!!!!!!!!, posted by Chloe on February 8, 2002, at 17:27:34
Cam W. one amoungst the famous posters who showed up on the big screen (in text) at Dr. Bob's lecture... How couldja not welcome him back...Any beat fan has my warmest welcome home!
Posted by Anna Laura on February 9, 2002, at 1:00:26
In reply to Re: Cam you're back!!!!!!!!, posted by kid_A on February 8, 2002, at 19:07:26
Hope you're feeling allright.
Posted by Cam W. on February 9, 2002, at 4:07:08
In reply to Re: Cam you're back!! I'm glad you returned., posted by Anna Laura on February 9, 2002, at 1:00:26
You guys are so great! I do not think that I have the confidence at this time to answer questions on PB. Please bear with me (or in your case Nikki, bare with me?), if I do not post there for a while.
I am working with my psychologist (a fantastic lady) on cognitive therapy, trying to rein in my negative self-talk and working on refuting my irrational ideas. Through this I am learning that I need not be a product of my past.
I am coming to realize that I that I should not get pissed off at society (or at least certain people) for not seeing the world as I do. Although I can rationalize and explain to people my views (and truly believe I can prove what I say - within the limits of scientific method), I have to learn to let others believe what they want. I need to work on not thinking or saying "People should....", or more directly, "You should...."
I am also learning that knowledge is not wisdom. I have to stop showing off my knowledge base in order to gratify my ego (eg. "Look how good I am!"). That just shows how insecure I am. I do enjoy helping people understand how their medications work, in order to enable them to take control of their lives, rather than their disorder controlling them.
My psychologist has shown me that I have a fear of success. I seem to concurrently sabotage any success that I may be striving toward. As I try to make a name for myself I will end up doing something stupid in order to make sure that I fail. In this way I can say, "See, I told you that I am not intelligent; I just proved it too you!". I am probably doing this more to punish myself rather than trying to prove my failure to others. Although, proving my failure to others seems to strengthen my own irrational belief that I am no good.
My latest escapade in sabotaging my career has resulted in my literally being black-balled from getting a decent job. I am now perceived as a "loose cannon" and my being outspoken about my depression has employers seemingly not wanting to take a risk on a "psycho" (irrational idea/negative self-talk alert!). I now have first hand experience of the stigma of mental illness. Despite all my work and research in this area, I guess I forgot that I am not immune to the effects of stigma.
For example, I applied to work for a pharmacy in a major grocery chain. I actually have my prescriptions filled with this chain. Through the filling of my prescriptions and through problems encountered with clients at the Mental Health Clinic (that I had to resolve), it seems that many of their pharmacists have no common sense, nor are able to see medication use from a patient's point of view. I figured that since they seem to hire anyone, I should be able to get a job with them. After enduring an interview with them, which I thought had gone well, I received a PFO letter from them saying that they could not offer me a position "at this time", even though they still have an advertisement for pharmacists in the local newspaper. I phoned them to find out why I wasn't hired. They said that I did not have enough "practical experience" in community pharmacy. Since I have 17 years of community pharmacy experience, I found this rather odd. They further said that because I had focused on clinical pharmacy for the past 7 years, I did not have enough practice actually filling prescriptions. In other words, they didn't trust me to read a prescription (although I have been writing them for psychiatrists to sign for years) or no longer had the ability to check a technician's counting of pills. Hmmmm....
Three or four other interviews that I have had over the past month have resulted in no callbacks. Other resumes that I have sent out have not even warranted an interview. Even a guy that I went to school with, and have found 3 jobs for in the past, who now is a regional manager for a large chain of pharmacies, cannot seem to find me a position for me (unless I was willing to move to the wilds of Northern Alberta - he did offer me $100,000.00 a year to move to an isolated town surrounded by 5 economically disadvantaged First Nations reservations - my wife refuses to give up her job, plus there is no highspeed internet).
- Cam < sigh > (feeling sorry for himself)
Posted by trouble on February 9, 2002, at 4:56:39
In reply to Re: Cam you're back!!!!!!!!, posted by kid_A on February 8, 2002, at 19:07:26
Did someone say Beat fan?
Welcome back, whoever I am!!
Posted by jane d on February 9, 2002, at 14:39:42
In reply to Thanks all! + a late night ramble, posted by Cam W. on February 9, 2002, at 4:07:08
Cam,
I've always appreciated your advice posts but I've also made a point of reading your posts for the politics, religion, music (well - sometimes the music - you have that "Dead" thing going on), and observations about life. And you bitch wonderfully in a way that somehow makes me end up feeling better about the universe. If you never want to post on pharmacology here again that's fine. You have enough clearly explained posts in the archives to give anyone a very good starting groundwork for their education. That's more than enough giving.
Welcome back.
Jane
Posted by Fi on February 9, 2002, at 15:22:03
In reply to Thanks all! + a late night ramble, posted by Cam W. on February 9, 2002, at 4:07:08
Hi and nice to hear from you!
The work you're doing with the psychologist sounds hard work but really productive. Lots of luck with that and the jobhunting.
Fi
Posted by Shar on February 9, 2002, at 18:17:07
In reply to Thanks all! + a late night ramble, posted by Cam W. on February 9, 2002, at 4:07:08
Cam,
Glad to see you!Your cog. therapy sounds so great, the issues you mention are IMHO some of the 'core' issues in life. If we can get to a good place with those issues, we can find a certain measure of peace, I believe. I am still working on those issues and others; my T, who is pretty encouraging, says we find ourselves over and over again--she says that when I think I have "gotten" something and suddenly I am at square one again. This is meant to be encouraging--that success is never really far away.
As for your job stuff, my heart really goes out to you. It sucks and is so scary to be unemployed (I am, and I can relate). You seem to be juggling all this life of yours very well, IMO.
Take care.
Shar
Posted by ST on February 9, 2002, at 23:43:24
In reply to Cam you're back!!!!!!!!, posted by mair on February 8, 2002, at 13:30:57
Cam,
I'm REALLY new to this board, but when you left I knew we were losing an important ingredient to the stew. Welcome back. You are needed here.
Sarah
Posted by Noa on February 12, 2002, at 18:03:00
In reply to Thanks all! + a late night ramble, posted by Cam W. on February 9, 2002, at 4:07:08
Wow, Cam.
1. As Woody Allen to Diane Keaton in Annie Hall, "all that in your first session?"---seriously, it sounds like you have done an amazing amount of work in therapy!
2. The job situation sounds awful. My first thought is that it is my impression that your "loose-cannon-ness" is due to the PTSD after Suzanne's death, and not a long standing trait, although I have known you only in this limited way and for a short time. Still, if it is the PTSD and not your "baseline" as they say, it stands to reason that your rep can be redeemed a bit easier, no?
The second thought I had, and perhaps a dangerous one that would be UNfruitful for you to pursue, so why am I saying it anyhow, I don't know---is wondering how a pharmacist, or any medical professional, for that matter, can deal with what might be (or could at least be construed as) discrimination based on illness (ie--having had scrips filled). For one thing, I would think ("there oughta be a law") the law would require that the confidential prescription info the store chain has about you be kept very separate from what goes into hiring decisions.
Was the pharmacy board (or professional org.) involved at any point in your getting treatment? I think that with some medical professions, there is a process for getting professionals into treatment in a discreet way, so as to both protect the public and the professional and his or her career. Wouldn't they be able to support you in getting your career back on track now that you have gotten into treatment and are doing better?
Maybe I'm naive (well, hopeful, at least).
ANd like I said, pursuing the unfairness with the big chain is probably not worth the aggravation since you need to focus on your healing process and career, and why would you want to work for them now anyway, right?
Sorry--rambling right back at ya...
Glad to see ya, amazed at your hard work and progress in therapy, and hoping things get better for you....
Noa
This is the end of the thread.
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