![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by fiona on May 30, 2002, at 21:01:32
I don't know what's happened to me this week. I have had 2 whole weeks of being stable and all of a sudden I am back in the depths of despair. I was really pleased with myself and thought that I had found my perfect combination of meds. Not so. Do you ever feel like somebody up there is taking the piss? Just when you think it's safe to go back in the water...
I feel so bereft, it's awful. Sometimes I think I'm gonna die from the pain. It feels like loss of a loved one and I can't cope with it.
My sister is very ill right now and I can't cope with it. She has bipolar disorder and has fallen apart this week. My mum can't cope with her and my dad pretends like theres nothing wrong, so it falls upon me to pick up the pieces. The problem is that I have cyclothymia and am in a very bad low period at the moment, so I am finding it very difficult to deal with my own head, never mind trying to look after my sister. I just feel so swamped. I can't drag myself out of bed in the mornings, but still my family expect me to look after my sister and her kids. I have been off work for the past 6 months with this depression because I can't cope with my life. Am I being selfish or petty if I say that I can't help her?
Posted by fi on May 31, 2002, at 8:24:52
In reply to hurting too much, posted by fiona on May 30, 2002, at 21:01:32
Please, please look after yourself! Your family is being unfair in expecting you to look after your sister, let alone her kids too!
I suspect most of us find it a slow process getting better, generally improving but with some ups and downs. In my case, extra stress could definitely cause a 'down'. You need to put yourself and your health first- *its absolutely essential*, and has nothing to do with being selfish or petty.
I bet if you check with your own pdoc they would agree with me!
Your sister and her kids may well need help, but if she is not seeking it directly, someone else in the family (eg your mother, *not* you) can contact her doctor or whatever professional is in charge of her care to let them know there's a problem. Its up to them to ensure that whatever care your sister and her kids need is available.
Fi
Posted by fi on May 31, 2002, at 8:29:24
In reply to hurting too much, posted by fiona on May 30, 2002, at 21:01:32
PS
Your mother (or whoever) can also ring Social Services at your sisters' local Council and ask to speak to the social worker on call, if I remember correctly.
Again, *not* you!
Fi
Posted by Penny on May 31, 2002, at 9:20:21
In reply to hurting too much, posted by fiona on May 30, 2002, at 21:01:32
Fiona,
I agree with Fi. I am an overresponsible soul too, only when it comes to taking care of others, not myself. But the truth of the matter is, you have to take care of YOU first, even if it means letting the people you love go through their own hard times EVEN if you think you could have stopped it.
I've had a similar situation with my cousin and her son. Her son is BP and only 9 years old, and he was in and out of the hospital last year. Well, after getting overly involved in the whole situation (as I was the only one with the *knowledge* of how to handle things ... i.e., my cousin didn't want to learn what she needed to), I finally had to bow out. Just couldn't do it anymore. It was sending me into my own depression, making me have extreme suicidal thoughts, etc.
Granted, I'm still suffering from my ups and downs, but now I'm focused on getting myself better. And I still have a bit of guilt regarding the whole thing, as I have lost touch with my cousin and I don't know how her son is doing at the moment, but I had to decide that it was NOT MY PROBLEM. I have plenty of stuff to deal with on my own, and you do too.
Hope things work out. Please take care of yourself.
Penny
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.