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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ALiI on June 4, 2002, at 3:58:03
I have so much to say but no ability to put it in this form.
I am word idiot and see not how they work together to express such inner blackness.........emptiness.
Hollow. I continue daily to write out checks for bills, go to post office, work in yard, take dog out for walks, and get in calls to pals in support network.....................
All I really want is to hid in bed for two days and not come out but to shower and get cherries, nanners, and other good fruits.
I no longer make sense......I can't follow my words.
Anger.
Despair.
Self loathing.right to give up.
I know my upcoming break from this reality for over two weeks will be a welcomed break by all.
Zinggggg fffffpppphhhhhhttttttttt aaarrghhhhhhh
Today's quote that sums up my feelings about where I stand in this whole life thing: You're ugly and yer mamma dresses you funny.
I'm mentally ill and I just have so little care as to who fucks with me about it anymore. I have little hope of seeing December so for now I only try to make it until plane ride next week.
aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiwoewoewoeismememe
Posted by beardedlady on June 4, 2002, at 9:41:49
In reply to It's late an the tears continue....yawn...same ol', posted by ALiI on June 4, 2002, at 3:58:03
Alii:
Where are you going on the plane? And what's wrong with two days in bed eating good fruit? That sounds like a wonderful vacation. Can't you treat yourself to it this once?
Everyone feels low self-esteem at some point in her life. But I think you know this is not how others see you. I love your unabashedness--the visible anger, the despair, the fun language, and the fact that, even in your despair, you can appreciate things like good poetry and delicious fruit! Imagine that! Most people who are depressed can't find a single thing to revel in, and you're extolling the virtues of nanners!
I was thinking about you this morning on my walk. My daughter was on her bike, riding alongside my husband, and I was picking and eating mulberries that grow from so many trees there. The fruit is so ripe it drops into your hand. Yesterday, my daughter and I watched two snapping turtles mate in the river just under our bridge. We are in this park in Baltimore city, watching Blue Heron fly over us and turtles swim below us and berries grow around us. How lucky we are!
And then I thought about whether I would have appreciated it had I been in the throes of depression. My answer was yes. Those things often help to motivate me to make my mind healthier.
Good for you. Eat some fruit and rest. And remember, please, that the world doesn't see you as you see yourself. (My shrink would tell you to make a list of the great things about yourself. Go do that, and get back to me!)
beardy : )>
Posted by aliI on June 4, 2002, at 18:04:03
In reply to good fruits » ALiI, posted by beardedlady on June 4, 2002, at 9:41:49
> Where are you going on the plane? And what's wrong with two days in bed eating good fruit? That sounds like a wonderful vacation. Can't you treat yourself to it this once?
I'm off to a tropical island.......but to go from early morning tears and waking to over sleeping suddenly with the constant mood decline....
> Everyone feels low self-esteem at some point in her life. But I think you know this is not how others see you. I love your unabashedness--the visible anger, the despair, the fun language, and the fact that, even in your despair, you can appreciate things like good poetry and delicious fruit! Imagine that! Most people who are depressed can't find a single thing to revel in, and you're extolling the virtues of nanners!
Yes well I always strove to be special case. Ha ha. Humour is only saving grace in certain darkness. Thank you for reminder about my blinders.
> I was thinking about you this morning on my walk. My daughter was on her bike, riding alongside my husband, and I was picking and eating mulberries that grow from so many trees there. The fruit is so ripe it drops into your hand. Yesterday, my daughter and I watched two snapping turtles mate in the river just under our bridge. We are in this park in Baltimore city, watching Blue Heron fly over us and turtles swim below us and berries grow around us. How lucky we are!I'll say!
> Good for you. Eat some fruit and rest. And remember, please, that the world doesn't see you as you see yourself. (My shrink would tell you to make a list of the great things about yourself. Go do that, and get back to me!)Damn Beardy you are one helluva taskmaster......I can try......and I know you are offering up heapin dose of help.....I will try.....can I cheat on this test? ;) as in ask some people to help because I am getting to low point where the mind tricks are even becoming hard for me to distinguish
aliiiiiiiiiii it's always me me me I I I......no more me no more I....what do I use then?
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