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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 2 of 2. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Medusa on August 9, 2002, at 5:16:11
How do you all handle social interactions off-board?
I've always been pretty bad at maintaining contact. Sporadically I'll write letters or send e-mail or make calls, but people end up thinking I'm a flake. I have the feeling that nobody really cares if I stay in touch or not.
Lately I've also excluded some fairly important information from communication with old friends - like that I'm married. I moved away and didn't really say what was going on ... I had hoped to somehow get out of getting married, but was too depressed.
New people I meet don't really interest me much.
I waste a lot of energy on formal social stuff that DH participates in. When I do meet people in these circles that might interest me, I have to maintain a distance, because of DH's family issues.
I guess that social problems are pretty common among the depressed etc, but it doesn't make it fun. How do you all deal with that?
M
Posted by .tabi.T.ha. on August 9, 2002, at 6:03:10
In reply to Social life and depression etc, IRL, posted by Medusa on August 9, 2002, at 5:16:11
Hi there Medusa,
Social life has always been a problem for me. It's hard to separate the causes, depression is one, and upbringing is another, and my personality is introverted even when not depressed, which makes it more difficult to find kindred spirits.
In the years before diagnosis, meds, etc, I hobbled along with zero or one friend at a time, always craving more but not knowing how to make the connections happen. My chosen few were also depressive. It was just too hard to relate to the normies. Then as I transitioned to someone with depression managed by medication, I fell apart from my old depressive buddies. Some blatantly disapproved of my taking meds, others I just didn't connect with anymore in my new chemically altered state.
Through lots of therapy I've learned to connect with people better. When my depression is at manageable levels I can enjoy a little "shallow" socializing, which used to just bewilder me. I still struggle to find really good friends, as I'm nearing 40, and it seems most people my age tend to put their spouses and children way ahead of friends in importance. Plus, people tend to move a lot these days. I've lost many friends over the years just to geographic moves.
The other obstacle is that I'm pretty content to be alone, most of the time. That's a mixed blessing, since I don't get motivated to get out and meet people when I'm feeling OK.
That's my 2c.
This is the end of the thread.
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