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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by lili80 on August 12, 2002, at 19:24:29
i am still suicidal, i thought i would post in an attempt to show where i am right now and to see if what i hear is true. has the board gone way downhill like i hear?
Posted by lili80 on August 12, 2002, at 19:44:20
In reply to still suicidal , posted by lili80 on August 12, 2002, at 19:24:29
its like now i know its right. dying i mean. like its so the answer that why am i still here. i know it. i live it. its like i look at idiots who think suicide will make everyone sad and attempt for others. i attempt for myself, that is the scary thing. i do it for me, for my own death. no delusions about afterlife being better. just want it all to end , to stop, to be over. suicide really is about just wanting everything to stop. i think we are at the same place. i am at the edge of the cliff. i researched how to fall. i know what works and what doesn't. i dont really want to die, but i have the i have to attitude. i dont really want it to go away, cause i still want to leap off the cliff. i am not hanging on I have already jumped, i am in the air still, i can still reach out, but i dont really want to. silence is what scares me, i dont really reach out anymore, i am at the point where a suicide note makes no difference, my death is about me, i picture myself just saying my peace, and then letting myself fall off that cliff. ok i shoulda post this on my own strand , i think i will, i dont oppose suicide. but it should be one person's decision, and no one elses, dont do it for someone else, i am at the place where death is the answer. I dont look down at the ground past that cliff, i look up ; i look up cause its the only thing that makes me cry with happiness in my mind.
Posted by Gabbi on August 12, 2002, at 19:57:32
In reply to still suicidal , posted by lili80 on August 12, 2002, at 19:24:29
I never really know what to say to people who are feeling suicidal because of the depression and what the depression has done to their life. I know exactly what you meant about not doing it do punish anyone, but because it seems there is no way out. Right now, my family is angry with me because of a failed attempt, and they say Its a childish way of getting attention.
I didn't call them to tell them, I didn't leave a note saying they were horrible and drove me to this.
I was just rusted out, years of medication job losses, relationship losses, wondering why you can't just BE like other people seem too.To be honest I feel a bit like a hypocrite, because when I'm in that state there isn't anything external that really change the way I feel inside, I could win the lottery and not be able to make the effort to deposit the cheque.
But I need to say, that people do care, and pray, for you, and hang on Please, there are new treatments coming out, and the depression is what causes that feeling that things will never be any different. It comes across as reality, not as Depression. We never believe it at the time but I know on the odd occasion when I'm normal I can't remember just how horrific the depression was either.
I do hope you'll start feeling a tiny bit more hopeful tomorrow, it does happen.
GABBI
Posted by homewood on August 15, 2002, at 13:17:22
In reply to (i posted this above for sum1) more about me tho, posted by lili80 on August 12, 2002, at 19:44:20
i could have written those words...God knows i have lived and felt them all. I had my plan all set; went home last saturday nite and emtied the contents of 2 bottles of sleeping capsules into a dish....why the powder is still there remains a mystery to me...
Don't cry for me Argentina....
This is the end of the thread.
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