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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by judy1 on August 26, 2002, at 11:20:34
I am so terrified by all the latest kidnappings and murders of children, not just here (so. cal) but all over the country. I know i'm being triggered by the case here and the ruling on the death penalty is wednesday- and despite all i do to try not to see any of this- it's everywhere. papers, tv- screaming headlines. i want to be normal for my children, so what measures do you take? how do you protect them and not smother? sorry, if i went on too much- judy
Posted by tina on August 26, 2002, at 12:03:19
In reply to I want to lock my children in the house..., posted by judy1 on August 26, 2002, at 11:20:34
Posted by BeArDedLADY on August 26, 2002, at 12:47:26
In reply to I want to lock my children in the house..., posted by judy1 on August 26, 2002, at 11:20:34
We have air conditioning units in our windows, and we sleep with our doors closed. Even though we have two dogs, the noise from the air conditioners drowns out most things. So we have always slept with our doors about halfway open.
Since the kidnappings, I put the baby monitor back in her room so that I could hear better in the night.
But you can't let fear rule you. Be extra careful, and, by all means, teach them that grownups who ask them to help find puppies are LYING. My daughter knows that if anyone approaches her--in our yard or anywhere--she is to scream very loud and run inside for help. She also knows to bite. I have heard these are important things, but we don't teach them to our children because we don't want them to be afraid.
A little fear is a good thing. My daughter is four and a half and knows about people who take children. She says she knows what to do. She also knows her address and phone number and how to call 911.
beardy
Posted by oracle on August 26, 2002, at 13:36:26
In reply to I want to lock my children in the house..., posted by judy1 on August 26, 2002, at 11:20:34
This sort of crime has actually been on the decline for many years. The press picks these things up and locks our attention without
giving us the big picture. Crime, in general, has
also been on the decline for decades.
Posted by BeArDedLADY on August 26, 2002, at 15:51:48
In reply to Re: I want to lock my children in the house..., posted by oracle on August 26, 2002, at 13:36:26
> This sort of crime has actually been on the decline for many years. The press picks these things up and locks our attention
> without giving us the big picture.One kidnapping is more than enough, thanks. And yes, the press picks up on them. But I'll guarantee there are way more than what is reported.
> Crime, in general, has also been on the decline for decades.
Yeah? I've lived in big, bad B-more my whole life, and June 28th was the first time I'd been a victim of a crime with a handgun. That's why statistics mean very little in the grand scheme of things.
beardy
Posted by Dinah on August 26, 2002, at 17:08:25
In reply to Got any kids? » oracle, posted by BeArDedLADY on August 26, 2002, at 15:51:48
Almost 20 years ago at age 10 or 11 a couple of guys followed beside me in a car at the same rate I walked. I was walking my very slow and laid back dog off leash at the time and yelled "LuLu sic 'em" at the same time I took off running and the dog broke into a confused lope towards me and the guys took off.
A neighbor girl was abducted off the same street several years later and thrown in the trunk of a car. Fortunately she screamed so loud that you could hear her outside the car and the guys got nervous and stopped a mile or so away to let her out. She was very lucky.
If we ever felt safe we were deluding ourselves. I doubt it is any worse now than then. Kids are always at risk, should always be taught to be careful, and should be attended closely.
And worse yet, now as always, they should also be warned about people they might trust who do things that they don't want their parents to know about. I always tell my son that the more someone tells you not to tell your parents something, the more threats they make, the more you should immediately tell us. And I've taught him about good and bad touches.
He doesn't seem to be overly frightened about it. He seems to see it as part of the name, address, and telephone number drill.
Posted by Medusa on August 26, 2002, at 23:40:52
In reply to I want to lock my children in the house..., posted by judy1 on August 26, 2002, at 11:20:34
I understand ... but even locked in your house, kids might not be safe. More abuse happens by acquaintances and faaaaaaaaaaaaamily than by complete strangers, no?
sorry to be a downer ... I'm down. I don't mean this would happen in your house ... but my parents would STILL swear it wouldn't happen in their house either.
Posted by judy1 on August 27, 2002, at 11:56:15
In reply to Re: I want to lock my children in the house... » judy1, posted by Medusa on August 26, 2002, at 23:40:52
You are absolutely correct, but since i'm a victim of child abuse i have the radar towards 'people' like that. So I know they are safe here, i just don't want my irrational fears of 'out there' to harm them. hope that made sense- judy
Posted by oracle on August 28, 2002, at 19:07:03
In reply to Got any kids? » oracle, posted by BeArDedLADY on August 26, 2002, at 15:51:48
Anytime people say "got any kids" I feel they are saying I am less of a person or unable to feel some things because I may or may not have kids.
Posted by oracle on August 28, 2002, at 19:11:59
In reply to Re: I want to lock my children in the house... » judy1, posted by Medusa on August 26, 2002, at 23:40:52
> I understand ... but even locked in your house, kids might not be safe. More abuse happens by acquaintances and faaaaaaaaaaaaamily than by complete strangers, no?
Yep. And I think this is my point. The press decides
what to show, which is related to what will get ratings. For every child that is kidnapped many more face abuse at home. That does not get press.
The priests get huge attention but something that happens every day gets little attention.
Posted by BeArDedLADY on August 28, 2002, at 20:19:48
In reply to Re: Got any kids?, posted by oracle on August 28, 2002, at 19:07:03
> Anytime people say "got any kids" I feel they are saying I am less of a person or unable to feel some things because I may or may not have kids.
Please don't jump to conclusions.
I was saying that when folks with kids hear about kidnappings, it really doesn't matter, statistically, how many fewer there are now than there were then. I was saying that you might have a better understanding of how we felt if you were a parent. Might.
I was also saying that your response was one I might have had five years ago, before I had a child.
And, as I said before, one kidnapping is too many.
beardy
Posted by oracle on August 29, 2002, at 2:18:41
In reply to Re: Got any kids? » oracle, posted by BeArDedLADY on August 28, 2002, at 20:19:48
> Please don't jump to conclusions.
This is how I feel, not a conslusion
>
I was saying that you might have a better understanding of how we felt if you were a parent. Might.Seems you are confurming that I "should" feel
some way. You also seem to be jumping to the conclusion I do not have kids, because I do not feel as you do.
Posted by BeArDedLADY on August 29, 2002, at 7:03:16
In reply to Re: Got any kids?, posted by oracle on August 29, 2002, at 2:18:41
I absolutely did not jump to any conclusion. That's why I asked you if you had any kids!
I hope that's clear now.
beardy
Posted by SandraDee on August 29, 2002, at 9:47:16
In reply to Clarification. » oracle, posted by BeArDedLADY on August 29, 2002, at 7:03:16
I also used to feel that way before I had my very own little, mini-me, flesh and blood, children.
I babysat, and even had a little girl spend summers with me. I thought I knew the awesome responsibility that comes with parenting. I really thought I knew what it was like to have kids. I didn't. The getting up in the nights, the nursing, the wiping every single snotty nose, the fixing every meal for them (and they eat A LOT - not just 3 little kid meals). Now I have a 3 yr old daughter (a very cute little girl - I might add) and we have a sex offender registered .5 <-- not even a mile, just 1/2 mile - from my house. You can bet even without that guy being there I'm keeping my eye on her and locking my every door... but KNOWING he's there, and others that take kids... You better know I'm aware of it. I'm also aware of the daily abuse that occurs in homes - and where I'm from, they do make news when it's discovered. In my small town (state, even) lots of stuff the big cities don't hit make the news.
But overall, I guess we should all let this thread die so as to not cause a huge uproar. Just wanted to support and add to what Beardy said.
Posted by mair on August 29, 2002, at 12:54:05
In reply to I agree with Beardy... » BeArDedLADY, posted by SandraDee on August 29, 2002, at 9:47:16
that it doesn't get any better as your kids get older. My kids are 14 and 17 and I still have no trouble conjuring up images of awful things happening to them and the fear that some creep is going to nab my 14 year old daughter in my very small seemingly crime-free town, persists.
Mair
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