Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ~~tabitha~~ on September 2, 2002, at 4:20:07
Good mood today. Out and about and other people's energy lifted me up instead of hurting me. I could look at the young/beautiful/coupled and enjoy the sight. I flirted with the Gap clerk. I enjoyed just looking at the young young young Starbucks clerk. It wasn't the usual, feeling like lonely pitiful me-- ashamed to be seen, shamefully alone. Is this growth or just temporary good mood, residual hypo?
Maybe the whole age acceptance thing is working. I thought I would die the other day, looking at the reality of the loss.
I need to learn to have more fun, be free and open with people, without crossing the line to inappropriate, crazy, drunk. I'm like either totally in my box, or too far out of it. Binge and purge.
Wouldn't it be great to feel self-accepting, and open to people? To not have all this twisted stuff about feeling ugly and ashamed of needing anything from anyone?
I hope this is not just a moodswing. Usually holiday weekends are hell, just reminders of my loneliness. It's like I can enjoy the energy that's out there, even though I'm alone for now. Happy happy thoughts.
Posted by Medusa on September 2, 2002, at 7:00:55
In reply to Good mood day, open to people, energized., posted by ~~tabitha~~ on September 2, 2002, at 4:20:07
Thanks for sharing this Tabitha. It sounds like a dream!
> I'm like either totally in my box, or too far out of it.
When you figure this out, I'll buy the book! I'm in the same space.
> Usually holiday weekends are hellI hate holidays too, appreciate that nobody around me knows about most of the deep-rooted American ones, and on their holidays I just plan around closed-shop times, but I don't *feel* I should be with anyone, doing anything. (Except for xmas, new years, but there I've broken rules a long time ago.)
Anyway. Hope your entire day flows this way.
M
Posted by Dinah on September 2, 2002, at 8:11:42
In reply to Good mood day, open to people, energized., posted by ~~tabitha~~ on September 2, 2002, at 4:20:07
Posted by ~~tabitha~~ on September 3, 2002, at 3:12:03
In reply to Re: It sounds wonderful, Tabitha. Enjoy! (nm) » ~~tabitha~~, posted by Dinah on September 2, 2002, at 8:11:42
or else high off Ted's flirting.
Posted by ~~tabitha~~ on September 3, 2002, at 3:46:31
In reply to Re: Good mood day, open to people, energized., posted by Medusa on September 2, 2002, at 7:00:55
So are you an American ex-pat? In U.K.? Where were you born in U.S., if you don't mind my asking.
Posted by Medusa on September 4, 2002, at 0:17:56
In reply to Re: Good mood day, open to people, energized. » Medusa, posted by ~~tabitha~~ on September 3, 2002, at 3:46:31
> So are you an American ex-pat?
Yup.
> In U.K.?No, Germany.
>Where were you born in U.S.New England.
Feel free to ask ... you can also mail me at stopyerspam at yahoo dot fr
M
Posted by ~~tabitha~~ on September 4, 2002, at 0:55:38
In reply to Re: Good mood day, open to people, energized. » ~~tabitha~~, posted by Medusa on September 4, 2002, at 0:17:56
thanks. I'm silverfish2 at aol dot com.
When I'm in insomnia mode I notice we end up on the board at the same time. My late night is your morning. Do you ever do chat? Maybe we could wander into PB Open sometime.
T
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