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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Roo on October 3, 2002, at 9:31:38
How do you know? Like I've been feeling close...
but I _know_ I won't kill myself...I wouldn't do it
to my parents...but there are times when I think about it
constantly and I don't feel safe and I feel constantly _tempted_.
I also feel at times like I'm in almost unbearable mental
pain and I can't function. I've got a really simple job that a trained
monkey could do, but right now I can't concentrate and sometimes I get
this overwhelmed panic attack feeling (I guess I'm "cycling") and I'm crying all
the time and I can't even do my simple monkey work. I've thought a couple of times...do
I need to be in the hospital? Or am I overreacting? I was at
a trusted friend's last night and she paused and kind of carefuly
said "...have you ever thought of hospitalization?"...she said she had
thought of mentioning it before, but she was afraid I would get angry or
be offended...so obviously _other_ people have thought this about me.I guess I just don't know the rules about the hospitalization thing. I guess
I thought you had to either have had attempted suicide or definitely going to do it.
I don't really fit into those categories.What if you just can't stand it, but you know you have to stand it?
Posted by SandraDee on October 3, 2002, at 9:48:29
In reply to How do you know when it's time for the hospital?, posted by Roo on October 3, 2002, at 9:31:38
I'm sorry you are feeling that way, and I wish I had something wonderful to say to make it better. Just know that I'm thinking of you and hoping for the best for you. Let us know what happens, please.
Posted by alii on October 3, 2002, at 10:24:24
In reply to How do you know when it's time for the hospital?, posted by Roo on October 3, 2002, at 9:31:38
Roo,
Dear. I would vote for now for the hospital. Aren't you off meds right now? I've been roughly following your path on these boards and that is the impression I am under.
It sounds as if you are beginning to question whether or not you are a danger to yourself. That is when the hospital can provide a safe refuge for a few days until another plan can be put into place.
I am heartened to hear of your trusted friend asking you about hospitalization. Sounds like she, and perhaps other people on your support team, has an awareness of the seriousness of your illness.
Reach out to them and consider hospitalization Roo.
I would hate to lose another name from this board from lack of reaching out.
--Alii
Posted by Dinah on October 3, 2002, at 10:56:57
In reply to How do you know when it's time for the hospital?, posted by Roo on October 3, 2002, at 9:31:38
Roo, it sounds like now might be the time to get together with your doctor and seriously consider hospitalization. I know you are trying out new meds now, and the hospital is a safe place to do that. Plus they might be able to give some meds (that they might not give you on an outpatient basis) that will provide short term relief until they can get you properly situated with your mood stabilizers.
My therapist and I were discussing this just the other day. He was saying that there are times that going to the hospital is the most responsible and caring thing you can do for your family.
Why don't you call your pdoc and ask her about a plan.
Take care of yourself, Roo. You're cared about a lot here.
Dinah
Posted by Tabßitha on October 3, 2002, at 14:35:41
In reply to How do you know when it's time for the hospital?, posted by Roo on October 3, 2002, at 9:31:38
Hi sweetie, I'm really concerned about you. Please discuss the hospital with your doc. Do whatever you need to do to feel safe. You may not have a serious suicide plan right now, but that feeling of not being able to stand it another minute is really dangerous. It always scares me terribly. Take care of yourself and keep us posted.
Love,
Tabby
Posted by Mal on October 3, 2002, at 14:54:35
In reply to Re: How do you know when it's time for the hospital? » Roo, posted by Dinah on October 3, 2002, at 10:56:57
Best wishes to you, Roo. I hope you get settled and feel better soon.
mal
Posted by Gabbix2 on October 3, 2002, at 16:04:06
In reply to Re: How do you know , posted by Mal on October 3, 2002, at 14:54:35
RRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo
Look its the Roo beacon!
Honey, I sent you an e-mail.
Posted by Phil on October 3, 2002, at 19:14:07
In reply to How do you know when it's time for the hospital?, posted by Roo on October 3, 2002, at 9:31:38
Roo, I really think you should talk to your doc and go. If you reread your first paragraph, it's a little frightening.
Thank God for your friend. By the way, I won't kill myself either, kind of a deal I've made with myself. If you and your doc agree, go to the hospital.
You're good people, Roo, and there's lots of good people here pulling for you.
Do what you must to be safe and don't worry too much, these things work out.Sincerely,
Phil
Posted by Greg A. on October 3, 2002, at 20:36:35
In reply to How do you know when it's time for the hospital?, posted by Roo on October 3, 2002, at 9:31:38
Hi Roo,
Glad you asked . . . cause I just got out of the hospital. I didn't let things go too far this time before I volunteered to be a lab rat. No threats of suicide although the thought was there. I just knew that the path I was on went nowhere. I told my daughters (ages 15 and 16) one night that they had never seen the real me except for brief glimpses where they thought there was something wrong. I decided to see if I could do something about that - - - so I am trying ECT.
Roo, if nothing else it's a break. If you can manage it, workwise, try it.
Greg A.
Posted by shar on October 4, 2002, at 0:08:47
In reply to Re: How do you know when it's time for the hospital?, posted by Greg A. on October 3, 2002, at 20:36:35
Something Phil said on PB, to another poster, is the time to go is when you ask the question. Amen.
I echo Greg A's sentiment...why not?! It's not like it would break anything, and you'd certainly go if your mental pain were physical (probably feel like appendicitis), and Greg A. just got out, and he seems good. Take a break to take care of you, especially if you are off meds right now.
Take care,
Shar
Posted by Phil on October 4, 2002, at 7:00:53
In reply to What Greg A. said, and Phil on PB, posted by shar on October 4, 2002, at 0:08:47
Roo, If you broke your arm and were obviously hurting, would you question if it was time to go to the ER?
Which pain is worse? The physical pain of the arm or the psychic pain of our shared disease.
I remember Dick Cavett saying in an interview that he had dental work done with no anesthesia just so he could 'feel something'. That's depressed.Phil
Posted by jyl on October 4, 2002, at 12:22:30
In reply to Re: How do you know when it's time for the hospital? » Roo, posted by alii on October 3, 2002, at 10:24:24
i spent a day in the er because i could not get of the wall.that was two days ago and i still feel shaken.if i did not go i knew i would do something myself to make it stop.
it felt good to ask for help this time and get it.
jyl
Posted by Mashogr8 on October 4, 2002, at 15:49:29
In reply to Re: How do you know when it's time for the hospital?, posted by jyl on October 4, 2002, at 12:22:30
Roo, Just a short time ago I felt myself in a similar situation. In my mind, I didn't really think that I could follow through with anyplans but theeverprestent thoughts were too scary and way too intrusive. I stayed that way for five days until my next therapy appt. For some reason I found the couraage to start off my saying "more than anything else in the world, I wanted to call you and tell you how bad I felt. He asked why I hadn't and I told him that I didn't think it would change anything since I wasn't planning on doing anything just wishing I could. His answer was "It's my job to hear those thoughts. You have every right to feel them and you need to share them when they become so overwelming." I would bet that should you call your pdoc/therapist, he will help you make the decision to go or not go into the hospital. There seem to be so few supports in life, yyou need to take hold of those that ARE there.
Wish I could change things and do more for you. Think about sharing your pain. It is real and the professionals will react.
Take care and fight long and hard to win against the depression that robs so many of life.
Peace
MA
Posted by Roo on October 5, 2002, at 10:03:34
In reply to Re: How do you know when it's time for the hospital?, posted by Mashogr8 on October 4, 2002, at 15:49:29
Don't have the energy to write much..just want
to thank everyone for their responses and the caring...
it really does mean a lot to me...thank god I see the
p-doc on monday and we are discussing ECT...I will let
everyone know the outcome of that discussion.Thank you again. You guys are an amazing bunch, so smart,
funny, compassionate and caring.Oh yeah, I have to share something. I was talking to that same
caring friend...the one that gently suggested maybe hospitalization...
and I was crying telling her "but man...that's going down the total nuthouse
road...I never thought I'd do all this shit...ECT...hospitalization...the whole
nuthouse nine yards...and what about my next relationship...it's bad enough just
telling someone you have depression and you take drugs for it...now I've got to tell
them I've had ECT and I've been in the hospital and blah blah blah..."...and she just
looked at me and said "First of all, you don't need to be thinking about all that
right now...you need to be thinking about getting better. Second of all, it's not
like you're going to be wearing a sign that says "I just had ECT" "And then I started cracking up through my tears. I said "They ought to make t-shirts
you can wear that say "I just had ECT". Something about that made me laugh.Anyway...talk to y'alls good peoples laters.
Roo
This is the end of the thread.
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