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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by lawrence s. on October 7, 2002, at 21:37:59
My 17 yr. old son told me one day after we went to the grocery store together: "Dad, I get depressed after shopping". Why I asked. He said, "Because we always see beautiful women/girls walking aroud the store. Looking at all that eye candy makes me feel real lonely for a girl. He says the beautiful girls only go out with the "popuplar guys" and that he will never be popular enough. He also said that the popular guys treat girls like crap, but they just keep coming back for more.
What could I tell him? I said "someday I'm sure you will get a beautiful girl". It went in one ear and out the other I'm sure. What could I say? I'm sure this is how he feels in school.
Any other guys/girls relate to this?
Posted by Dinah on October 8, 2002, at 8:58:36
In reply to Son gets the blues when looking at girls, posted by lawrence s. on October 7, 2002, at 21:37:59
You can tell him that "beautiful" girls being interested in "popular" boys is not particularly different from your son being interested in "beautiful" women.
You can tell him to look for those women who are beautiful all the way down to their cores, who are deep and warm and caring, and who think there are more important things than popularity.
And you can tell him not to worry about how "popular" boys treat "beautiful girls" but to concentrate on who he is. Because when the beautiful to the core, deep caring girl looks at him, he'll want to be the attractive to the core deep caring guy she'd like to be with.
At least that's what I'd tell my son.
Dinah
Posted by Eddie Sylvano on October 8, 2002, at 14:26:11
In reply to Re: Well, you can tell him.... » lawrence s., posted by Dinah on October 8, 2002, at 8:58:36
> You can tell him that "beautiful" girls being interested in "popular" boys is not particularly different from your son being interested in "beautiful" women.
-------------------------Amen to that, Dinah! It's remarkable how many people I know that won't date anyone if they can't get "the one" or whatever.
When I was married, I would (very rarely) think that I'd be happier, or more attracted to my wife if she were more skinny, or had a prettier face, etc. After we divorced (she left me for my best friend), I dated the most beautiful girl I've ever seen for about a year. She was absolutely radient, and I considered myself the luckiest guy around. Still, after dating for 5-6 months, I began to see her less as a doe eyed goddess and more as the person she was (which was uncaring and empty). She still looked the same, but I was less and less attracted to her, and eventually pulled the plug.
Now I'm with a girl that, though not a runway model or anything, I find more attractive each day because she's such a wonderful person.
Posted by shar on October 9, 2002, at 12:21:21
In reply to Son gets the blues when looking at girls, posted by lawrence s. on October 7, 2002, at 21:37:59
> eye candy
You could tell him that females are human beings, not inanimate objects like candy, who want what he probably wants: to be treated with respect and cared about.
You could also tell him that ears are not handles.
Shar
Posted by Phil on October 9, 2002, at 12:54:15
In reply to Son gets the blues when looking at girls, posted by lawrence s. on October 7, 2002, at 21:37:59
I've been single my whole life and if there's anything worse than wanting one of those girls, it's getting one.
They can be (I'm generalizing)very high maintenance(dollars)and sometimes an outright nightmare.
If he can afford it, take dance lessons and get confident in his abilities. Not dancing has sunk my battleship many times. If he becomes a good dancer and likes it, the sweeties will at least want to take a whirl. Then, depending on his BS ability...: )
Posted by shar on October 9, 2002, at 18:07:16
In reply to Re: Son gets the blues when looking at girls » lawrence s., posted by Phil on October 9, 2002, at 12:54:15
Posted by McSweeney on October 11, 2002, at 2:03:40
In reply to Re: Well, you can tell him.... » lawrence s., posted by Dinah on October 8, 2002, at 8:58:36
> You can tell him that "beautiful" girls being interested in "popular" boys is not particularly different from your son being interested in "beautiful" women.
>
> You can tell him to look for those women who are beautiful all the way down to their cores, who are deep and warm and caring, and who think there are more important things than popularity.
>
> And you can tell him not to worry about how "popular" boys treat "beautiful girls" but to concentrate on who he is. Because when the beautiful to the core, deep caring girl looks at him, he'll want to be the attractive to the core deep caring guy she'd like to be with.
>
> At least that's what I'd tell my son.
>
> DinahLawrence,
Your son will be one very very blessed man if he takes the advice from Dinah..that is truly great advice..
Posted by lawrence s. on October 11, 2002, at 21:34:54
In reply to Re: Well, you can tell him...., posted by McSweeney on October 11, 2002, at 2:03:40
Thanks Dinah. I appreciate your good advice.
Posted by lawrence s. on October 11, 2002, at 22:50:43
In reply to Re: Son gets the blues when looking at girls, posted by shar on October 9, 2002, at 12:21:21
Ditto on that Shar! You brought up a very good subject. Since having a daughter. It really disturbs me how casually couples have oral sex. When I was single, almost every girl I dated wanted to do that to me. In my opinion it really is EXTREMELY undignifying to say the least. I often would immedeately wonder how many other guys has she done this to? I also had a very difficult time kissing her again. (Honestly, I would usually push her away). Am I crazy? In my opinion that kind of stuff should be saved for later on down the road to couples that are truly in love. And if they feel the desire to do it and are comfortable doing it, then I see it as another beautiful way to express intense passion.
Any girls/women reading this I strongly recommend waiting until you are into a long term relationship (preferably married). Maybe I'm just weird, but, (speaking for myself and I'm not a Saint!) it is bad for the male psyche as well.
Posted by Dinah on October 11, 2002, at 22:58:29
In reply to Re: Well, you can tell him...., posted by McSweeney on October 11, 2002, at 2:03:40
This is the end of the thread.
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