![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by deets on November 7, 2002, at 16:00:56
Hi. I'm a psych major in undergrad right now, and after grad school, I plan on being a therapist. I want to do for other people what my therapist has done for me. I have my own opinions on this, but what do you all think are some of the qualities of a good, effective therapist?
Posted by jane d on November 7, 2002, at 16:53:54
In reply to What makes a good therapist?, posted by deets on November 7, 2002, at 16:00:56
Deets,
You've been a patient and taken some psychology courses now. Have any of the courses given you different ideas on what makes a good therapist?Jane
Posted by deets on November 7, 2002, at 18:18:41
In reply to What do you think? » deets, posted by jane d on November 7, 2002, at 16:53:54
Well, it's not so much my psych courses that have given me my opinion on what makes a good therapist, but rather the therapists I've been to in the past and the therapist I see now. The first therapist I ever saw was horrible. I didn't want to be in therapy, and he knew it, but he still tried to make me do all the talking. He sat there taking notes and wouldn't let me call him by his first name. I only saw him twice, and stormed out, cursing, both times. The other therapist I saw was not what one might call intelligent, and I just sat there and lied to her, and she never caught on. She also tried to get me to discuss things and change my behavior before I was ready.
But, the therapist that I see now is absolutely wonderful! I'm recovering from an eating disorder & self-injury. I've been seeing my current therapist for about a year and half, and during that time I relapsed twice w/ my eating disorder. She never once seemed frustrated or dissapointed in me for needing time to get better and more than one shot at health. I even asked her once if she was dissapointed in me. When she said she wasn't, I asked her why, after all, I was taking so long to make progress, and she said that maybe when I'm having periods of struggle, it is reason for compassion rather than disappointment. I think the most important qualities in a therapist are those of warmth, patience, compassion and genuineness. I think that they need to be completely non-judgemental and really show that they care about the client as more than just a source of money. My therapy sessions often go 10 or 15 minutes over, which proves that my therapist isn't in it for the money, because if I'm not done talking, she doesn't cut me right off when the "therapeutic hour" is over. I've also never felt like she's been "afraid of" or "shocked" by me. I've had others who have been shocked, especially when I confessed to self-injury, which doesn't help. But, with my current therapist, I know that I can tell her anything without the fear of being referred. I also feel in control of my therapy sessions, which makes me feel comforatable. I'm in charge of what I am and am not ready to discuss, and my therapist has promised me that we will end therapy only when I feel completely ready and decide to end it. Those are some qualites of a good therapist.> Deets,
> You've been a patient and taken some psychology courses now. Have any of the courses given you different ideas on what makes a good therapist?
>
> Jane
>
Posted by BeardedLady on November 7, 2002, at 18:18:54
In reply to What makes a good therapist?, posted by deets on November 7, 2002, at 16:00:56
Advice, homework, anecdotes. My therapist doesn't spend the whole time listening to me. He gives me answers--why I am the way I am, what I can do to change. He tells me stories about other patients and himself that relate to our topic. He gives me homework assignments.
I have a wonderful therapist.
beardy
Posted by Alara on November 7, 2002, at 22:38:42
In reply to Re: What do you think?, posted by deets on November 7, 2002, at 18:18:41
> > (But my current therapist)...never once seemed frustrated or dissapointed in me for needing time to get better and more than one shot at health. I even asked her once if she was dissapointed in me. When she said she wasn't, I asked her why, after all, I was taking so long to make progress, and she said that maybe when I'm having periods of struggle, it is reason for compassion rather than disappointment. I think the most important qualities in a therapist are those of warmth, patience, compassion and genuineness. I think that they need to be completely non-judgemental and really show that they care about the client as more than just a source of money. My therapy sessions often go 10 or 15 minutes over, which proves that my therapist isn't in it for the money, because if I'm not done talking, she doesn't cut me right off when the "therapeutic hour" is over. I've also never felt like she's been "afraid of" or "shocked" by me. I've had others who have been shocked, especially when I confessed to self-injury, which doesn't help. But, with my current therapist, I know that I can tell her anything without the fear of being referred. I also feel in control of my therapy sessions, which makes me feel comforatable. I'm in charge of what I am and am not ready to discuss, and my therapist has promised me that we will end therapy only when I feel completely ready and decide to end it. Those are some qualites of a good therapist.
>
>
> Deets, you're spot on here:
"Warmth, patience, compassion and genuineness" as well as all those additional qualities which you describe make a wonderful therapist as far as I am concerned. This sounds very much like the therapist I used to have. I will always be grateful for the wonderful work that she did with me and know that I am a better person today because of her influence.In addition to this, a good therapist is not afraid to challenge a patient and has good self awareness as well as good management of his/her own feelings. A good therapist learns to not take a patient's anger or defensive attitude personally, for example. He/she also needs to be aware of the dynamics of the psychotherapeutic relationship to minimise the effects of issues such as projection, transference, and counter-transference (affecting patient and therapist alike). He/she also needs to be open with colleagues to work through these issues when they do occur.
Good luck with your journey. It sounds like you are enjoying it so far. :-)
Alara
Posted by Tabitha on November 8, 2002, at 0:17:23
In reply to What makes a good therapist?, posted by deets on November 7, 2002, at 16:00:56
I think my therpist is great, but it's hard to identify the qualities I like. The two things that amaze me most are:
- She can listen to me pour out what I think is a string of useless repetitive complaints, and remain truly interested, and find some meaningful theme in it all.
- She models two qualities I'd like to have-- self-acceptance and good ego strength. She just doesn't react to things defensively like me and everyone else I've ever known.
Posted by Dinah on November 8, 2002, at 9:29:33
In reply to What makes a good therapist?, posted by deets on November 7, 2002, at 16:00:56
Speaking personally, it often takes a long time for things to seep in. Themes have to be repeated over and over until I'm ready to hear them, without impatience.
Also, compassion and empathy are great, but I think a certain amount of stability is also necessary, or a therapist can make things worse. Just knowing that you can count on a therapist to be there at the same time each week, without having to be worrying about it, is comforting. Not knowing that can be very destabilizing.
(Anyone care to guess what's going on in my life right now. Scowl.)
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.