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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Rach on December 18, 2002, at 9:14:14
Does anyone else do this?
I get to such a great point in my life. Everything seems to be coming together. Lots of great opportunities, etc... Then I start to sabotage things for myself.
It may not start as a conscious thing. I try to trick myself by saying I'm doing it for the best, that this job wasn't right for me, that I had a miagraine starting so it was understandable for me to miss that meeting...
Yesterday, I breezed through this job interview. I almost panicked in the waiting room, but then was brilliant in the interview. Got a call 2hrs later asking me to come back this morning for the 2nd interview. I was so excited. I really wanted the job, and I really NEED the job.
Got up this morning, then found myself thinking that I wouldn't go for the 2nd interview. Called, left a message saying I had accepted another job (lie), then went back to bed, telling myself that it was okay because I might have to quit the job in a couple of months if I decide to go back to uni.
Why do I do this? I still think the job would have be suitable, enjoyable, and I really liked the people. I really need the money.
I just don't understand...
Posted by justyourlaugh on December 18, 2002, at 9:52:21
In reply to Self sabotage, posted by Rach on December 18, 2002, at 9:14:14
hi
my pdoc says i do these things because i feel undeserving-try to torture myself.
or it gives myself someting to feel bad about because i cannot understand why i feel so horrible all the time.?
hang in there
jyl
Posted by bookgurl99 on December 18, 2002, at 12:20:10
In reply to Self sabotage, posted by Rach on December 18, 2002, at 9:14:14
Ach, I've done stuff like this before. And I think it's just the product of low self-esteem. I am sorry that you did this about the job.
I think part of it is the fear that you won't live up to the expectations that others have for you. For me, that comes from having extremely perfectionistic parents.
When I start to do things like that now, I tell myself "I'm not going to live like this anymore," and I STOP it.
Posted by IsoM on December 18, 2002, at 13:21:01
In reply to Re: Self sabotage, posted by bookgurl99 on December 18, 2002, at 12:20:10
I agree with bookgurl. I've been told I'm brilliant & talented & versatile & on & on. And you know, I really think so too. But I'm TERRIFIED when ever I start a new job or project that is going to be judged by others. If it's just me that wants to do something, I can do it to my satisfaction, but if someone else is going to oversee what I do, I always think it won't meet their criteria. I always think I'm going to goof up along the way. I'm convinced that I won't meet the high expectations others feel I can do. It's not so much lack of confidence or poor self-esteem for me. I'm simply scared that others will be disappointed in what I do & wonder why they ever hired me.
It's that uncertainty, lack of sureness, & anxiety of not being as good as you hoped for.
Posted by NikkiT2 on December 18, 2002, at 15:05:32
In reply to Re: Self sabotage, posted by IsoM on December 18, 2002, at 13:21:01
Oooh, I totally agree with bookgurl and iso... I do this as somewhere deep inside I know I will never acheieve what I am so capable of, so why bother trying...
Hun.. no advice here.. I'm still too busy playing the avoidance game (ie, avoid everything just incase!!)
I know you will get there, and find the perfect role for all your talents. I still think you really should be in nieghbours ;)
Nikki xx
Posted by justyourlaugh on December 18, 2002, at 16:42:39
In reply to Re: Self sabotage » Rach, posted by justyourlaugh on December 18, 2002, at 9:52:21
i didnt say i agreed with the pdoc.
i dont speak up much at appointments.
cant even look at him yet.
i really cant even concentrate on what he is
saying.
its all blah blah blah
j
Posted by Rach on December 18, 2002, at 19:22:58
In reply to Re: Self sabotage, posted by justyourlaugh on December 18, 2002, at 16:42:39
You know, it's really odd. Apart from this, i feel really good.
I am down at the moment because my course has just finished, and I have NO clue how I'm going to survive next year. But I know this isn't a permanent thing, and its just because of the uncertainty (?sp) in my life at the moment.
So even though I am kind of down, I feel okay.
Thanks for your thoughts. :)
Posted by noa on December 26, 2002, at 17:26:57
In reply to Thanks guys, posted by Rach on December 18, 2002, at 19:22:58
Rach, is it possible you didn't like the job?
But I hear you about the self sabotage. I do it all the time. For all the reasons everyone already mentioned.
This is the end of the thread.
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