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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Peter S. on December 19, 2002, at 16:17:55
I was reading the above posts by Rach and Alara and I totally empathize with you guys!I've been looking for work for the last 2 months and have had interviews for jobs I'm totally qualified for but inevitably I screw up. I know why- it's extreme performance anxiety, depression, low self esteem, and total self-sabotage. Either I come off with very low energy (depression) or I appear very anxious. I'm also desperate for work which doesn't help.
Went for an interview this am- using adderall to counteract my low energy. My energy was up but I was pretty anxious and actually was shaking. Anxiety also produces an interesting phenomenon where I put my foot directly in my mouth. I walked out with a negative feeling.
I'm filled right now with extreme frustration and anger at myself- Uggh!
I hate to do this but I feel I have to find the right chemical recipe so I can perform. Maybe I should mix adderall with Xanax and add a beta blocker?
Any words of wisdom for those who have found a way to interview when anxious or depressed?
Now if you'll excuse me I must go bang my head against a brick wall.
Thanks!
Peter
Posted by Tabitha on December 19, 2002, at 23:22:56
In reply to Aaah! Interviews are killing me!, posted by Peter S. on December 19, 2002, at 16:17:55
Peter, that's really unfortunate. I'm PO'd at my job right now, and one reason is I recommended someone as a job candidate, and she got rejected after 2 rounds of interviews. I've worked with her so I know she's very smart and productive, but she comes off poorly in interviews due to just not seeming self-confident. In fact the interviewers end up reassuring her that she is in fact qualified for the position. She's actually even more qualified than most of the other candidates we're interviewing! This is a shame to her and to the employers who aren't getting a good employee. I'm also kicking myself for not trying to coach her more before she came in. Oops, excuse me, for going off on a personal tangent.
Job interviews are just like public speaking, some people are naturally at ease, and others aren't but can improve with practice. Have you considered using professional career coaches, who might be able to put you through some practice interviews and give feedback? Or perhaps some regular counseling could help you reduce your anxiety level and approach interviewing differently. I know from your posts you're a smart guy so it's a shame if you're not able to get past the interview hurdle. And by all means try the beta blockers. I know an amateur musician who uses them for stage fright with great success. Just make sure you don't seem dopey on whatever you take.
I hope some of this is helpful, and if not thanks for letting me rant on this topic.
Posted by Kar on December 19, 2002, at 23:25:11
In reply to Aaah! Interviews are killing me!, posted by Peter S. on December 19, 2002, at 16:17:55
Peter- was trying to send you some psychic peace today. I think maybe the cloudiness was impeding the transmission. Can't help ya much with the brew you're on, but I'm thinking of you and know that it'll get better. Seems as if low energy would be better than the anxiety for an interview, huh? I find that I can fake it rather well with people that don't know me. I'm always beating myself up about not doing as well as I could've if I'd felt better, but people don't seem to notice...The damn urgency of finding the job is just making things so much harder, I agree.
What has happened on previous interviews (specifically)? Do you think you're coming off as badly as you think you are? Sometimes it's so hard to be objective...I know you left feeling negative but what do ya think about them? So hard to even do a "practice" interview because until you do the real thing you don't know how bad it'll be. You worked steadily before, right?
The frustration- well, i can spout all I want and it won't make a difference to you, but i can't allow YOU to to take all of the blame. You have some chemicals that are misbehaving and we just need to get them under control. Please try not to be frustrated with yourself, but with the illness. It ain't your fault, dude.
I'm sure another more wise one could help you with your mix. Do you like/trust your doc?
And if you must bang your head, use a cushion or something. That's just not going to help your presentation at your next interviews. You know, you threatened lobotomy before so Should we even trust you anymore? (A smile goes here).
All the best
Posted by Peter S. on December 20, 2002, at 12:51:27
In reply to Re: Aaah! Interviews are killing me!, posted by Tabitha on December 19, 2002, at 23:22:56
Hi Tabitha,
Thanks for the response and feedback! Actually I've been getting experience lately in public speaking which has been great. I've been working on this with a counselor but it's been difficult to apply. I went in feeling real good yesterday- I had all the right answers. Then I started to get flustered- I started thinking "oh, my god I need this job but this isn't working out!" and it went down hill from there. When I start feeling desperate the spiral of anxiety and depression begins- and it really starts to show. I can rehearse as much as I want but when I get thrown some curves...
> Peter, that's really unfortunate. I'm PO'd at my job right now, and one reason is I recommended someone as a job candidate, and she got rejected after 2 rounds of interviews. I've worked with her so I know she's very smart and productive, but she comes off poorly in interviews due to just not seeming self-confident. In fact the interviewers end up reassuring her that she is in fact qualified for the position. She's actually even more qualified than most of the other candidates we're interviewing! This is a shame to her and to the employers who aren't getting a good employee. I'm also kicking myself for not trying to coach her more before she came in. Oops, excuse me, for going off on a personal tangent.
>
> Job interviews are just like public speaking, some people are naturally at ease, and others aren't but can improve with practice. Have you considered using professional career coaches, who might be able to put you through some practice interviews and give feedback? Or perhaps some regular counseling could help you reduce your anxiety level and approach interviewing differently. I know from your posts you're a smart guy so it's a shame if you're not able to get past the interview hurdle. And by all means try the beta blockers. I know an amateur musician who uses them for stage fright with great success. Just make sure you don't seem dopey on whatever you take.
>
> I hope some of this is helpful, and if not thanks for letting me rant on this topic.
>
Posted by Peter S. on December 20, 2002, at 13:52:10
In reply to The witches (warlock's?) brew » Peter S., posted by Kar on December 19, 2002, at 23:25:11
Hey Kar,
> Peter- was trying to send you some psychic peace today. I think maybe the cloudiness was impeding the transmission.
Thanks- I really appreciate it. Probably all the rain and storm here in Northern Cal is getting in the way.
>I find that I can fake it rather well with people that don't know me. I'm always beating myself up about not doing as well as I could've if I'd felt better, but people don't seem to notice...The damn urgency of finding the job is just making things so much harder, I agree.
I wish I could fake it- it's great that you can do that. I've been wondering how to act non-depressed and I still haven't figured that one out.
> What has happened on previous interviews (specifically)? Do you think you're coming off as badly as you think you are? Sometimes it's so hard to be objective...I know you left feeling negative but what do ya think about them? So hard to even do a "practice" interview because until you do the real thing you don't know how bad it'll be. You worked steadily before, right?
>I've had interviews for jobs that I've been practically over-qualified for and somehow screwed them up. I'm not totally sure how but I think it's pretty much nervousness which leads directly into self-defeating thoughts and behaviors.
> The frustration- well, i can spout all I want and it won't make a difference to you, but i can't allow YOU to to take all of the blame. You have some chemicals that are misbehaving and we just need to get them under control. Please try not to be frustrated with yourself, but with the illness. It ain't your fault, dude.
>
> I'm sure another more wise one could help you with your mix. Do you like/trust your doc?Aah chemicals. That's the nub. Unfortunately all the drugs I've taken have been ineffective or pooped out. I really like my pdoc and he has been incredibly patient and willing to try almost anything and any combination. Lamictal does help to some extent but not enought to feel really functional. So I'm left with this particular reality. Yuck!
>
> And if you must bang your head, use a cushion or something. That's just not going to help your presentation at your next interviews. You know, you threatened lobotomy before so Should we even trust you anymore? (A smile goes here).Alright you got me- I wasn't serious about the lobotomy or head-banging. What I was thinking was a powerful electric drill. Maybe I'll go to Sears today...
Thanks again for the support!
Best,
Peter
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