![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by comftnumb on December 29, 2002, at 22:09:09
What are you doing for New Year's? I'm spending a friendless, partiless night at home. But it'll be better than last year's when I slept through New Year's in the locked mental ward at Stanford Hospital.
Posted by BlackSheep on December 30, 2002, at 10:19:29
In reply to What are Social Phobics doing for New Year's?, posted by comftnumb on December 29, 2002, at 22:09:09
Yeah, I think the latter will be more enjoyable. I'm not going out, wouldn't even if I was sociable, due to the drunk drivers. Might continue to read, "How To Be Alone, by Franzen.
You know, socializing is overrated. Ok, some like it (not many on this board) and some of us don't.
If isolating is increasing our anxiety, depression, addictive behaviors, then yes, we need to make some changes. But if we are indeed more comfortable with ourselves when we are alone at home with our pets, then go for it. And we are reaching out here, on this board, it's our way of comfortably socializing and it's ok.
Posted by Tabitha on December 30, 2002, at 17:39:20
In reply to Re: What are Social Phobics doing for New Year's?, posted by BlackSheep on December 30, 2002, at 10:19:29
staying home. new year's is for drinking and kissing strangers. ahh, memories.
if you do have cats at home, it's really fun to blow those party horns at midnight. the cats get a real rush from it.
Posted by dreamerz on December 30, 2002, at 18:12:53
In reply to Re: What are Social Phobics doing for New Year's?, posted by Tabitha on December 30, 2002, at 17:39:20
Posted by Gracie2 on December 30, 2002, at 21:12:40
In reply to Re: What are Social Phobics doing for New Year's?, posted by BlackSheep on December 30, 2002, at 10:19:29
Posted by jonh kimble on December 30, 2002, at 21:50:24
In reply to Re: What are Social Phobics doing for New Year's?, posted by Tabitha on December 30, 2002, at 17:39:20
For me holidays dont even have any meaning any more. just another day Ill have to get through. suppose ill stay home doing nothing, and feel horrible for it, or get really drunk and love it then regret every second and be horibly depressed the next day. either way its not gonna be good.
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 30, 2002, at 22:02:17
In reply to Re: What are Social Phobics doing for New Year's?, posted by BlackSheep on December 30, 2002, at 10:19:29
> I'm not going out, wouldn't even if I was sociable, due to the drunk drivers. Might continue to read, "How To Be Alone, by Franzen.
I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon
But I don't mean to be pushy. Did you deliberately not use it to link to Amazon? If so, I'd be interested in why, over at Psycho-Babble Administration:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html
Thanks!
Bob
Posted by heather66 on December 31, 2002, at 2:37:35
In reply to Re: What are Social Phobics doing for New Year's?, posted by jonh kimble on December 30, 2002, at 21:50:24
> For me holidays dont even have any meaning any more. just another day Ill have to get through. suppose ill stay home doing nothing, and feel horrible for it, or get really drunk and love it then regret every second and be horibly depressed the next day. either way its not gonna be good.
I'll second that.
Posted by justyourlaugh on December 31, 2002, at 9:10:31
In reply to Re: What are Social Phobics doing jonh kimble, posted by heather66 on December 31, 2002, at 2:37:35
Posted by shar on December 31, 2002, at 18:23:45
In reply to Re: What are Social Phobics doing for New Year's?, posted by BlackSheep on December 30, 2002, at 10:19:29
Posted by Alara on January 2, 2003, at 2:18:29
In reply to Re: What are Social Phobics doing for New Year's?, posted by BlackSheep on December 30, 2002, at 10:19:29
>
> You know, socializing is overrated. Ok, some like it (not many on this board) and some of us don't.
>
> If isolating is increasing our anxiety, depression, addictive behaviors, then yes, we need to make some changes. But if we are indeed more comfortable with ourselves when we are alone at home with our pets, then go for it. And we are reaching out here, on this board, it's our way of comfortably socializing and it's ok.
>
>Blacksheep, I agree that this board provides a valuable, `safe' outlet for socialising..But I also believe that the reason that so many of us (myself included) protest that `real life' socialising is overrated is because we are so debilitated by our fear. Some may disagree here, but human beings are social animals...That's why so many find relief reaching out on this board.
So many of us here who talk about despising social interactions also suffer from incredible loneliness and (you said it) problems with depression, anxiety, and addictions. I know from experience that spending too much time alone fuels these problems.
It is true that many social phobics will never thrive in traditional social settings (like parties). However, I do believe that those same people can build satisfying and lasting relationships to fulfill the social needs that all human beings have. It took me a long time to understand this.
There is an optimal social life for everyone. But the biggest barrier that we face is our own fear.
Posted by bluedog on January 2, 2003, at 9:27:59
In reply to Re: What are Social Phobics doing for New Year's?, posted by Alara on January 2, 2003, at 2:18:29
Well I had a really quiet new year. I have only recently returned to work after a 4 month "depression" sick leave period and quite frankly I was so exhausted that I was just going to spend the evening alone and go to bed early.
Well, when I got home from work on new years eve I immediately had a three hour sleep and then when I awoke at about 8.00pm I decided to give my brother and sister in law a call to see what they were doing. Ended up they were doing nothing so I went there in and hung out in the comfort zone of my close family, hung around until new year and then went straight home.
By the way I've discovered that even a just couple of beers will make me severely depressed at the moment and I had a miserable new years day but hey I'm just whining now so I'm going to stop right now!!
regards
bluedog
Posted by BlackSheep on January 2, 2003, at 9:48:31
In reply to Re: What are Social Phobics doing for New Year's?, posted by Alara on January 2, 2003, at 2:18:29
Yes, I agree with that. The gist of my original post was just try to alleviate our rumination about over social anxiety, especiall during the holidays.
I do agree that, as a goal, we should try to reach out socially in whatever healthy ways that may alleviate some or our lonlieness and all that goes with it.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.