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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by daizy on January 17, 2003, at 9:50:16
In the past few days I have been feeling less anxious, and more like I used to in the past. However, im finding it hard to re-adjust. I think ive said this before but, when im not anxious, and panicked, I feel plain depressed. Im kinda feeling like that now. Im only a few days into the new meds and maybe im getting ahead of myself, but im starting to understand why I did such things as take drugs, basically because my life is dull. Thats how I feel now, dull. Im not upto going out with my friends and stuff again yet, so im just chilling at home everyday, not doing much so I have too much time to think. Maybe i made myself anxious as a way of escaping the reality. Ive just got this deja vous feeling all the time, and i keep remembering all the bad stuff in my life that I tried to put to the back of my mind. I FEEL LIKE I AM LIVING IN THE PAST. I need a way to move on. As I start to feel better (which I hope I will) Im wondering how im going to cope, and make things different so as I wont relapse. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you lot cope? I dont have the support that I used to either, I havnt been out with my friends for almost a year, and most of them still do things like take drugs, and I have to try hard not to go down that route again. My family live away now, so its hard to start doing normal things like going out when I am alone. I just think that if I get better i will never be able to forget what it feels like to be depressed and that in itself may stop me from being normal again.
(may not make sense)
Posted by mikhail99 on January 17, 2003, at 12:53:36
In reply to How to cope?, posted by daizy on January 17, 2003, at 9:50:16
> In the past few days I have been feeling less anxious, and more like I used to in the past. However, im finding it hard to re-adjust. I think ive said this before but, when im not anxious, and panicked, I feel plain depressed. Im kinda feeling like that now. Im only a few days into the new meds and maybe im getting ahead of myself, but im starting to understand why I did such things as take drugs, basically because my life is dull. Thats how I feel now, dull. Im not upto going out with my friends and stuff again yet, so im just chilling at home everyday, not doing much so I have too much time to think. Maybe i made myself anxious as a way of escaping the reality. Ive just got this deja vous feeling all the time, and i keep remembering all the bad stuff in my life that I tried to put to the back of my mind. I FEEL LIKE I AM LIVING IN THE PAST. I need a way to move on. As I start to feel better (which I hope I will) Im wondering how im going to cope, and make things different so as I wont relapse. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you lot cope? I dont have the support that I used to either, I havnt been out with my friends for almost a year, and most of them still do things like take drugs, and I have to try hard not to go down that route again. My family live away now, so its hard to start doing normal things like going out when I am alone. I just think that if I get better i will never be able to forget what it feels like to be depressed and that in itself may stop me from being normal again.
> (may not make sense)
Daizy, your post made perfect sense because I often feel the same way. I'm rarely on an even keel, either depressed or anxious. And I know when the anxiety isn't going on, it's like something is missing. Do we get addicted to those stress hormones going on when we're anxious? The two must definitely go hand in hand. I cope by trying to stay busy but I think that's probably avoiding the issue. But if I don't stay busy, then I start obsessing about all that's wrong with my life and then I get depressed. GEEZ I'M A MESS!!!But anyway, I admire your desire to avoid the friends who are involved with drugs, that's not a road you want to go down again. Are you in therapy now? If not, I think that's a good place to start so you can talk about your fears and your time alone and how to cope. I'm so socially inept, I don't really hang out with anyone except my husband but he's rarely around. So I signed up (and I hope this doesn't sound pathetic) for a class called "Women's Night Out" offered by the local free university. We'll start meeting on Saturdays and going to cultural events. I though it might be a good way to meet people. I'm also going to take some wine-tasting (not entirely sure if that's a good idea yet) class and maybe some cooking classes. It's so hard to meet people that you share interests with, isn't it? But I would look for stuff like that in your area.
And try to remember (this is what my therapist tells me) to take it one day at a time. When I'm in the grip of anxiety, I have to remind myself that it's not a permanent state and it won't last forever. It's a bit harder with the depression but I still try to tell myself something similar.
Ok, I've gone on long enough. Hang in there and remember that you're doing all the right things. Please take care and keep us posted.
Mik
Posted by daizy on January 18, 2003, at 9:32:18
In reply to Re: How to cope? » daizy, posted by mikhail99 on January 17, 2003, at 12:53:36
> > In the past few days I have been feeling less anxious, and more like I used to in the past. However, im finding it hard to re-adjust. I think ive said this before but, when im not anxious, and panicked, I feel plain depressed. Im kinda feeling like that now. Im only a few days into the new meds and maybe im getting ahead of myself, but im starting to understand why I did such things as take drugs, basically because my life is dull. Thats how I feel now, dull. Im not upto going out with my friends and stuff again yet, so im just chilling at home everyday, not doing much so I have too much time to think. Maybe i made myself anxious as a way of escaping the reality. Ive just got this deja vous feeling all the time, and i keep remembering all the bad stuff in my life that I tried to put to the back of my mind. I FEEL LIKE I AM LIVING IN THE PAST. I need a way to move on. As I start to feel better (which I hope I will) Im wondering how im going to cope, and make things different so as I wont relapse. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you lot cope? I dont have the support that I used to either, I havnt been out with my friends for almost a year, and most of them still do things like take drugs, and I have to try hard not to go down that route again. My family live away now, so its hard to start doing normal things like going out when I am alone. I just think that if I get better i will never be able to forget what it feels like to be depressed and that in itself may stop me from being normal again.
> > (may not make sense)
>
>
> Daizy, your post made perfect sense because I often feel the same way. I'm rarely on an even keel, either depressed or anxious. And I know when the anxiety isn't going on, it's like something is missing. Do we get addicted to those stress hormones going on when we're anxious? The two must definitely go hand in hand. I cope by trying to stay busy but I think that's probably avoiding the issue. But if I don't stay busy, then I start obsessing about all that's wrong with my life and then I get depressed. GEEZ I'M A MESS!!!
>
> But anyway, I admire your desire to avoid the friends who are involved with drugs, that's not a road you want to go down again. Are you in therapy now? If not, I think that's a good place to start so you can talk about your fears and your time alone and how to cope. I'm so socially inept, I don't really hang out with anyone except my husband but he's rarely around. So I signed up (and I hope this doesn't sound pathetic) for a class called "Women's Night Out" offered by the local free university. We'll start meeting on Saturdays and going to cultural events. I though it might be a good way to meet people. I'm also going to take some wine-tasting (not entirely sure if that's a good idea yet) class and maybe some cooking classes. It's so hard to meet people that you share interests with, isn't it? But I would look for stuff like that in your area.
>
> And try to remember (this is what my therapist tells me) to take it one day at a time. When I'm in the grip of anxiety, I have to remind myself that it's not a permanent state and it won't last forever. It's a bit harder with the depression but I still try to tell myself something similar.
>
> Ok, I've gone on long enough. Hang in there and remember that you're doing all the right things. Please take care and keep us posted.
>
> Mik
>
>
No I think your brave to go out there and start doing different things. I have been looking into taking an evening class or something. It is a good way to get out of the house and have something else to focus on. I do really need to start meeting new people, and at some point maybe start a relationship. That is also worrying me a bit, ive never really had a proper romantic relationship, and all my friends have partners, so being the only single one is like an added pressure! but as you said its one day at a time. THANX.........
Posted by Noa on January 18, 2003, at 11:26:44
In reply to Re: How to cope?, posted by daizy on January 18, 2003, at 9:32:18
Whoa, easy does it!
I think it is a great idea to take a class or soemthing like that--to have something interesting to do, get you out, focus on other things, etc. But try to stop yourself from getting swept up in the barrage of big goals all at once. Did you ever see the movie "What about bob?" ? Remember "baby steps, baby steps"?
One thing at a time. Really. Ok, you probably figured out that I have the same problem! (LOL)What happens with me is that one anxious thougth leads to the next to the next, and them I am thinking about the big problems and feeling overwhelmed and can't even deal with the first thing I thought about.
Take a class--something fun, not something that is a "should". Something just because it will be enjoyable, not because it will help solve all the other problems, etc. It is a great step to take. When you are trying to change a pattern in your life, often that means stopping one thing, but then there is the space where that things was and just sitting with the void is way too hard. But filling it in is hard too--it is hard to know what can fill it in. So go slow--baby steps. You have the impetus to try a class, so do that. But leave the worrying about an intimate relationship for later.
I, too, seem to have a teeter totter thing with depression vs. anxiety. My primary diagnosis is depression, but sometimes the depression comes in to save me from my anxiety. But of course it ends up being worse than the anxiety. Now, I am a little less depressed than a few weeks ago when this latest depressive episode started, but I am anxious. I think it is bearable anxiety at this point, (I do not have a severe anxiety disorder like some people do) but not pleasant. But it is work for me to co-exist with it and to keep from slipping me into depression because of it.
The other way the depression and anxiety relate to each other is that when I get a recurrence of major depression, I also panic about that, and then a kind of second layer of depression kicks in--being depressed about being depressed. It's that I panic that the depression is back and the feeling that I'll never get out of it, and then I feel so angry at myself for being depressed. Sometimes it helps for me (and this usually only happens during a therapy session or here at Babble) to connect to feeling angry at the disease, and not at myself.
Anyway, do something good for yourself and take it slowly.
Posted by judy1 on January 18, 2003, at 11:55:27
In reply to How to cope?, posted by daizy on January 17, 2003, at 9:50:16
I hope you have a therapist (I didn't see it in your post), it's an important part of getting well along with your medication. I think a major part also is having a support system (you mentioned your family was away), so in addition to your therapist, maybe you can make 1 or 2 friends through a class or church or volunteering to help you too. It all doesn't happen overnight, so like the other posters said take it slow (a day at a time) and you will start to feel better. take care, judy
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