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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by T_R_D on March 31, 2003, at 14:07:22
Hi All...struggling in every way, shape and form these days. Have any of you ever lost a relationship due to your depression? Have you ever had depression interfere with your relationship that it has ended it?
My partner and I have not been "relating" well at all and its because I am in another depressed state. We talk about it as openly and productively as possible but I feel so flat that it's hard for me to be motivated about anything. Just getting through the day is hard enough at times.
I understand that her needs aren't being met yet there's little I can do...I've lost all sex drive, interest in being in a relationhip...it's a real mess. I'm currently trying to find a drug that will work after switching from Effexor. I thought it was the drug that was keeping my sex drive away but now I'm feeling it could be the underlying depression.
I know I can't be "blamed" for this...it's not "my fault"...it just seems so...so unfortunate.
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 31, 2003, at 15:33:03
In reply to Depression and Relationships, posted by T_R_D on March 31, 2003, at 14:07:22
trd,
the added "stress and guilt"we give ourselves because we are not "pleasing" our loved ones is so terrible..
i am sorry to hear you are having such a hard time now..and i am glad you have someone to love...she will see you through this...nothng wrong with being room mates for a bit...
good luck trd(with meds it seems to be up to luck for them to help out)
peace
jyl
Posted by Phil on March 31, 2003, at 19:01:26
In reply to Depression and Relationships, posted by T_R_D on March 31, 2003, at 14:07:22
It happens often. Who wants to be around sadness?
What they don't realize is that you are supposed to go into a R. slowly. If love develops, it is either unconditional with respect to illness especially, or it's not love.
Love is a verb, it's way more about giving than receiving.
If you wouldn't do to your partner what is being done to you, say adios.
I haven't been in a real relationship in years. In fact, at 50, I don't even care. It shows, no?
If you aren't supported, tell them to take a hike, then go find a friend.
Posted by paxvox on March 31, 2003, at 20:45:54
In reply to Depression and Relationships, posted by T_R_D on March 31, 2003, at 14:07:29
Well, I can answer that question from several different ways, but I'll use the most relevant. I have suffered from depression for almost 13 years now, but have been fairly stabilized since about 1997 on Wellbutrin with some Tranzene to take the edge off. Effexor can be a nasty med, I have heard a lot of stories about it. Wellbutrin is a GOOD AD, depending on your problem. It definitely does not adversely affect your sex drive, and may actually increase it. Now, as to the relationship part. My wife also has depression related to PTSD. I, like I said, have been "functional", but she has continued to degredate. Her problems compound my probelems, so you can see that this makes for a complicated relationship. It has not made me leave my marriage, but it HAS defintely hurt it. My suggestion to you would be two-fold. Assuming you are still in your relationship, get her to go to counseling with you. That way she can see some of what's up, and can also "vent" in front of a (hopefully) objective third party where she might NOT have done to you directly. Secondly, work your meds. If that's not working, there are MANY combinations and options. It took my Pdoc (and I am assuming you are seeing a Pdoc and not just your GP) about two months to find the right meds for me. It is a process that requires trial and error. If your girl REALLY loves you (and assuming you are not being violent or abusive to her) she should stick around as long as you can involve her in your treatment process. If she is NOT willing to "help" you, maybe the decision has aleady been made for you.
PAX
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