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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Snoozy on May 13, 2003, at 12:52:02
I'm sure a lot of you can relate to struggling to keep an ok mood. Does anyone have any useful strategies for how to stay in that ok mood when people around you are depressed/angry/unhappy? Thanks.
Posted by leeran on May 13, 2003, at 13:59:54
In reply to What to do when a bad mood rubs off on you?, posted by Snoozy on May 13, 2003, at 12:52:02
My ex-husband was rather mean-spirited in his depression (I think that's what it was but I never knew an official diagnosis). My best defense was to leave the room, leave the house, or wherever he was. Same thing with my mom when I was little. I used to take endless walks around the block.
That's a difficult one . . . sometimes a good mood can irritate someone even more. My mother seemed to become incensed with what she called "Little Mary Sunshine" types.
I guess my overall suggestion (even if you have to be in the same room) is: lay low.
Posted by paxvox on May 13, 2003, at 16:39:23
In reply to What to do when a bad mood rubs off on you?, posted by Snoozy on May 13, 2003, at 12:52:02
Go somewhere else. No, seriously, I have the same problem. I am very sensitive to other's low moods (but strangely not high moods, hmmm?). The only answer I can proffer is what one counselor told me, and that is to recognize that the person is in a black-hole BUT don't let yourself get drawn into it. Simple, right? Well, it is actually something that you can process mentally. Here's what I have been doing. I come home and my wife is depressed. I try to act as if she is OK, I say "hello, how are you feeling?" When a negative response is given in reply, I say "well, I'm sorry that you are feeling bad, is there anything I can do for you?" Then you go about your business. This DOES take quite a bit of effort and practice for practical application. The key is to NOT let yourself get depressed just because someone you care about is down. You have a. recognized that they are not feeling well. b. verbalized to them that you are aware that they are not feeling well. c. offered to help them in any way you can. and d. you go about your business having shown compassion but w/o getting pulled into the black-hole. Try it out, you never know.
PAX
Posted by WorryGirl on May 14, 2003, at 9:07:32
In reply to What to do when a bad mood rubs off on you?, posted by Snoozy on May 13, 2003, at 12:52:02
> I'm sure a lot of you can relate to struggling to keep an ok mood. Does anyone have any useful strategies for how to stay in that ok mood when people around you are depressed/angry/unhappy? Thanks.
Well.....
When I go out in public, I almost always put on my happy smiley face, even when I'm in the worst mood imaginable. It doesn't seem to influence other people's moods at all. If I'm in one those moods and someone's grumbling, I end up chiming in, but feel a little better in a strange way. Misery definitely loves company.If I'm truly in a good mood, like I was the other day, some people almost seem to be annoyed by it. I was around a group of people a few weeks ago and talking to a very sweet, happy lady. Well, the others (who are usually gossiping and complain a lot) started poking fun at how happy, happy, happy we were that day. This didn't faze the happy lady at all, but sort of pricked my balloon.
It seems that one has to convince themselves, if they're in a good mood, that they're not going to let anyone pull them down, either by ignoring the negative or trying to positively influence it.
Posted by noa on May 14, 2003, at 18:04:08
In reply to Re: What to do when a bad mood rubs off on you?, posted by paxvox on May 13, 2003, at 16:39:23
It can be hard to nip it in the bud--you know, that contagion thing where you absorb someone else's bad mood. But being aware that it is originating outside of yourself is the first start. Then, I guess, there are probably a bunch of different strategies. Like leaving, someone mentioned. Getting of the phone, excusing yourself from a party, etc. etc. Then going and taking a deep breath to restore your self. Taking a break. Get out and go for a quick walk. Take a break for a snack. Distract yourself, etc. etc.
Tell yourself you will not take on someone else's feelings.
This is the end of the thread.
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