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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Greg on July 8, 2003, at 17:41:47
I was just thinking about you and wondering how you're doing. Your strength and desire is pretty amazing. I know you've been an inspiration to a lot of the ladies here, and I think that's very cool! Keep on keepin' on Gracie!
Greg
Posted by whiterabbit on July 8, 2003, at 19:27:21
In reply to Whiterabbit?, posted by Greg on July 8, 2003, at 17:41:47
Thanks Greg, that's really nice of you...sometimes I think I must sound like a big knowitall, and I don't like them either!Actually I'm doing real well, considering what's going on here at home. The reason I've been posting so much is because I have the time right now - I'm sort of in limbo. My lawyer is drawing up a petition for legal separation to answer my husband's petition for divorce. I think my husband believed I did this because I was still hoping for a reconciliation & he pretty much told me I was wasting my time. I set him straight on that matter. I told him the ONLY reason I filed for separation instead of divorce is because I don't have my own medical coverage, I'm covered under his policy at work & I don't have a steady job right now, just temp stuff with no benefits.
He had agreed to continue paying for my insurance coverage after the divorce, but my lawyer just laughed. He said that it didn't matter whether he wanted to keep me on his medical insurance policy or not - the insurance company would be under no obligation to provide coverage for me once we were divorced, and they would drop me like a hot rock.
Well naturally I freaked. The out-of-pocket costs for my psychiatric medication alone is over $500
a month, not counting the cost of the psychiatrist I need to give me the medication. So of course I need to go back to working at a real job unless I want to end up at the welfare clinic-
the thought of just giving up psychiatric care completely is unacceptable now, just the thought makes me shake! I was REALLY in bad mental shape at one time, a total whack job, and I can't go back there...I just can't, now that I know what it feels like to be well. Sort of.Oh, I'll figure something out. I have a good mind WHEN it's working well, and I've pretty much recovered from the serious shock of my husband's intention to leave me. I can't even feel upset at the "other woman" because she has NO IDEA what she's getting into, and if HER mind is working she will hike it on out of their relationship pretty quick once she gets a good luck at the "real" Ken. Because as soon as I'm gone & their affair isn't so dangerous and secret and fun anymore (the dangerous element being the psycho wife, of course) - weeeelll, missy, you're in for a ride. Ken is one selfish bastard and he doesn't like commitment, he's resented me from almost the beginning & I was too dumb to get out.
But I'm on my way now and I'm glad. I hope you're doing well yourself, I've been reading your California posts and about the job market out there. But it sounds like you wouldn't live anywhere else, am I right? Take a walk on the beach for me!
-Gracie
Posted by Emme on July 9, 2003, at 5:14:25
In reply to Yes Greg?, posted by whiterabbit on July 8, 2003, at 19:27:21
Hi Gracie,
> Actually I'm doing real well, considering what's going on here at home.That's good. You're tough.
> I'm sort of in limbo. My lawyer is drawing up a petition for legal separation to answer my husband's petition for divorce.... I set him straight on that matter. I told him the ONLY reason I filed for separation instead of divorce is because I don't have my own medical coverage...
My mother and father had a legal separation for like 12 years. My mother wanted the insurance and I think my father was avoiding marrying the woman with whom he'd been cheating. Weird. But I do think protecting your insurance situation is important.
That's smart to keep that protection as long as you can.> Oh, I'll figure something out. I have a good mind WHEN it's working well, and I've pretty much recovered from the serious shock of my husband's intention to leave me.
As I said, you're pretty strong. I'm glad you feel like you've gotten over the shock.
> I can't even feel upset at the "other woman" because she has NO IDEA what she's getting into, and if HER mind is working she will hike it on out of their relationship pretty quick once she gets a good luck at the "real" Ken.
I think many "other women" are making poor choices when they go with the guy. After all, if he cheated on his wife, what's to stop him from cheating on them?
> weeeelll, missy, you're in for a ride....
But I'm on my way now and I'm glad.You take care.
Emme
Posted by Greg on July 9, 2003, at 18:29:29
In reply to Yes Greg?, posted by whiterabbit on July 8, 2003, at 19:27:21
Aw Gracie, you're only a know-it-all if you have an opinion and you believe that no one else does. I haven't seen that from you. What I have seen is you, like Shar and some of the others here, have a enviable mastery of the written word. You can tell a story, be it yours, or any story, and captivate me. It's almost like sitting in front of a fire and be read that bedtime story, very cool.
Your lawyer is a pretty smart guy. It doesn’t really matter what the STBX may promise you verbally, it’s what you end up with in writing. The final decree should contain any agreements about continuing medical insurance, division of assets, all that good stuff. A little story here…When my first pain, er, wife (sorry ladies, but she was a pain) and I split, she asked if I could give her extra child support as she was up against it financially. I was making very good money as a long haul truck driver at the time and agreed to help her out for awhile. Come to find out, she was using the money to buy drugs that she was selling, but that’s another story. Not only was she getting extra money from me, but was telling the state that I wasn’t paying my regular child support either, and was collecting welfare. Despite the differences we had that split us up, I always thought she was an honest person. I never asked for a receipt for my payments. Bad move. About 5 years later I received a bill from Family Development for $7,700. She was collecting welfare while collecting my child support too, and telling them I wasn't paying her. Without receipts, I had no choice but to pay. The moral of this story? GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING!
I really hope you can work out someway to keep his benefits until you’re back on your feet with a full-time job and all. Out-of-pocket medical expenses are totally outrageous! I was reading recently that the average cost to a non-insured person to an Emergency Room is over $4000 now, and that’s with no bells or whistles. The cheapest insurance you can buy privately here in California is Kaiser Permanente, and I believe it’s about $660 a month. And that’s for the bare minimum coverage. And my experience with Kaiser is that you can die in the waiting room waiting to be seen. My son almost did when he was a baby, he had 106.5 degree temp and they made us wait 45 minutes to get in.
You’re a good lady Gracie. I know I don’t know you in person, hell I’ve only met one person here. Shar will make two in October, YAY!!! But I judge a person by what their willing to give of themselves. And, I realize that even the most giving of people sometimes run out of gas, don’t have anything to say, or find a subject triggering and can’t get involved. But all thru this mess that you’re in right now you haven’t hesitated to give love and support to others, and I think that makes you a very special and worthwhile person in my eyes. As far as Ken goes, I’ll goodngoddamnguaranteeya (I’m sure that’s a word in some dictionary somewhere) what comes around, goes around. If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll even get to see it. But that’s sour grapes.
Yes dear, I am a California grown and bred youngster (Youngster, yeah right). I’ve lived in the San Francisco Bay Area all my life except for a three year excursion to Salt Lake City, UT. Don’t ask me why. Well, my wife was born and raised there and I let her talk me into it actually. It really was a wonder place…But. It has seasons, and I couldn’t get used to that. It has snow, which I liked for the first few weeks until I got a job delivering propane in it. Propane and snow don’t make a good mix. My route was up in the ski resorts. You’d attach the propane nozzle to the tank, fill it up, and then the nozzle would freeze to the tank. My routes usually ran about 14 hours a day and I would come home with my socks (2 pair) and my pant legs frozen solid. So needless to say I grew tired of Utah quickly and we moved back. I love the weather (especially when it’s hot, tank tops and shorts, YEAH BABY!!!), the people, we’re all crazy. Every kind of food imaginable. A million things to do at any hour of the day or night. No more that 5 hours away from major gambling casinos (had to throw that in). Some of the greatest beaches in the whole world. An hour’s drive will get you to some fantastic trout fishing. Probably ‘nuff said huh?
Anyway Gracie, I do appreciate your presence here and look forward to reading your posts. However your trial and tribulations turn out, I hope they are to your benefit, and your happiness.
Hang tough,
Greg
Posted by whiterabbit on July 10, 2003, at 11:27:02
In reply to Yes Greg?, posted by whiterabbit on July 8, 2003, at 19:27:21
Thanks Greg! I appreciate the compliments on my writing - the STBX never complimented anything including my writing, to him it seems unedited, overdramatized, & of course anything I write about him is a flat-out lie don't you know. Huh.
But for my birthday I got a big huge book from my parents, the "2002 Writer's Market" with addresses for editors, literary agents, pusblishing companies, etc. They always tell me I should be a writer of some sort - guess I never seriously considered it because you always hear that even the most talented & educated writers get a pile of rejection letters before they sell anything. I don't know if I could handle all that rejection...of course my STBX is breaking me in real good, when all this is done I will LAUGH at rejection, laugh I tell you...
But in the meantime, I just write because I like to, it helps me think, Stephen King says the only way to be a good writer is to do it all the time, just like anything else you get better with practice.
Just the same it's probably a good thing that I've got work lined up for tomorrow & next week -
besides the obvious (money) it will help me blow off some of this frustration which I know is showing up in all my posts, he just...he just...
never mind I don't want to think about him.Okay. Once I'm out of the house, I'll rent someplace for awhile & think about where to go from here, although I'm leaning towards moving back to Florida, somewheres on the Gulf Coast. I DO like the seasons myself but nothing extreme -
I'm not used to serious winter like they have in Maine or Minnesota or the Dakotas...and I HATE the kind of sticky nasty heat we get here in the Midwest. Before the big move I might take a trip to Oregon or Washington state, see what it's like up there.Hey Greg I don't know how you managed it but it sounds like you used to be married to my husband's first wife. Man, she was a piece of work. They got married at some silly age, 18 or something, & had a daughter...I don't think the marriage lasted 3 years but we had to contend with this demented person until his daughter grew up, she was always taking him to court to demand more & more money at the same she was collecting welfare for nonsupport (sound familiar?) so then the state of Georgia comes after us for the money they gave her - and even though the STBX did eventually prove that he had always paid child support - meaning his ex was collecting welfare by fraudulent means - I don't think she ever got into trouble. And WE had to fork over a bunch of money for a lawyer and whatnot - man she was a b****. I told Ken, I said, your taste in women is appalling! Of course he agreed.
UHOH out of coffee, we can't have this. Thanks again Greg, it's nice to hear for a change that I'm not some crazy evil money-sucking demon dispatched from Hell for the specific purpose of torturing his Highness.
;-) Gracie
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