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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 21, 2003, at 19:30:45
In reply to An Ode to Alone » KimberlyDi, posted by BarbaraCat on September 20, 2003, at 19:47:24
> Ah, Kimberly, I love your posts. This will probably end up in Social, but I wanted to ensure that you get this. You state so eloquently the very tender and private thoughts so many of us (as in myself) share with you. There is such pain in feeling 'different' from whoever defines such things, but such beauty in it as well.
>
> I have a book you might want to read. I stumbled upon it in a bookstore and it's changed my whole attitude about being a lone pea in a pod in a crowded sea of pod people. It's called "Party of One" by Anneli Rufus, subtitled "The Loners' Manifesto". It celebrates the unique and unrecognized wonderfullnes of people who enjoy their own company and the space to think their own thoughts. The independent thinkers somewhat left of plumb, interesting, innovative and highly curious, disturbing and moody at times, social when necessary, and wanting so much to find kindred spirits, but are generally met with a glazed expression, boredom, disinterest, stupidity, misunderstanding - you get the picture. You feel like an outcast and it hurts, even though you think they're all rather loud and trying, and you'd really rather be somewhere else, someplace quiet. So many artists, writers, scientists, creaters have all been loners. It's a very long list and it's nice to be a member in this club that doesn't have members.
>
> Sometimes I can be a real wild and crazy party animal, but my true nature has always been as a lone explorer. Realizing I'm not a weirdo in preferring not to hob-nob with this rather strange human race made me feel quite relieved - not so weird, strange, unpopular, aloof, snooty - all those unkind judgements that make us doubt ourselves. The truth is, I'm a very loving, compassionate and empathetic person, but too many people exhaust me and drain my life force.
>
> Lately, I'm learning to accept all of myself, the stuff I've always been embarrassed about, my forthrightness, my discerment, my cynicism, my 'whoo, that's weird' visions, my ultra-sensitivity, my goofyness, my gushing heart, my intelligence (and fooey to those who can't keep up), my tendency to wander away at parties to spend time with the cat, my preference to go shopping alone, eating at restaurants alone, thinking my own thoughts, all the eccentricities that define me.
>
> My husband respects all this in me but is a 'people person' with loads of friends and social activities. I've always thought maybe I should feel kind of bad about this, about not having hoards of friends who want to do things together all the time, and get asked to be on committees and on boards of things. I have a handful of much loved friends who are loners and explorers like me. We see each other only occasionally, which is quite enough, but it's always so precious, like coming home. This not wanting to mingle with others' energies and thought forms is actually a healthy thing. I no longer feel like I need to be different from who I am and it's so liberating. A time may come when I feel differently and choose to emerge from my cave experience, but for now, I don't.
>
> You know, you really don't have to waste time with Mr. Number Four if he doesn't cherish or recognize the preciousness of you. That kind of situation all too often makes you start doubting you own preciousness. Your own company might be much more enriching. Much fondness to you. BarbaraCat
Posted by katia on September 22, 2003, at 2:07:45
In reply to An Ode to Alone « BarbaraCat, posted by Dr. Bob on September 21, 2003, at 19:30:45
Hey Barb,
just wanted to touch base here in social. I'm kinda freaking out b/c i've seen a few red dots on my legs. Don't know if the lam. rash or not.Moving, maybe. I'm exhausted. this'll be the fifth time in over a year in addition to what I've been going thru'.
Katia
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 22, 2003, at 23:28:06
In reply to An Ode to Alone « BarbaraCat, posted by Dr. Bob on September 21, 2003, at 19:30:45
[Posted by BarbaraCat on September 21, 2003, at 23:40:50
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030917/msgs/262223.html]
> Hi Katia,
> Yes, I'm back. It's sooner than 10 days but the time wasn't right for a longer trip and we turned back. My hub is recovering from double hernia surgery and it was too much for him. Poor guy's private parts are literally black and blue with some fuschia here and there.
>
> I'm letting alot more people into my life as well after taking a long break from humanity. Friends are so nice when I'm not feeling totally self conscious about weirding everyone out with my bad vibes. I've learned so much in the past few years during my 'cave experience'. The most important and healthy steps have been learning to stop fighting and hating myself and just accept what is, including how sometimes I just don't like people and they probably don't like me either. Sometimes I'm climbing the walls and feel so alone and desperate, but most everyone seems to feel that way too. And sometimes it's just fab, everything's swell, and so it goes til the next act. Oh well. What a long strange trip it's been, eh?
>
> Did you say you were moving again? Yuck! Not my favorite past time, but a great opportunity to clear out old funky clutter stuff. I guess we ought to go to Social with this but I can never figure out how to move a thread and bring along the, what would you call them, thread-ees? Good to touch base with you. - BCat
This is the end of the thread.
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